Ideal Breakfast

At the risk of being too personal I am going to share with you, faithful readers, my breakfast of choice. No, those words don’t cover it. I will share the breakfast that brings me joy. That may be too large a task, but I will try.

First one must prepare for the breakfast of joy. Denial of favorite foods beforehand helps. Hunger, too, is a mighty weapon to whet the taste buds.

Second, the eggs are pulled from the fridge and allowed to warm to room temperature. Make that three eggs; no need to overdo it.

Third, English muffins are split carefully with fork tines; the surface must be torn, not cut so the edges will toast to perfection, or am I getting too detailed, here?

Fourth, three bacon slices are carefully counted out and arranged on a cookie pan to bake in the oven ala Maggie’s instructions. (That would be Maggie our chef columnist, don’t you know?)

Fifth, as the bacon arrives to a chewy-not-crispy consistency, the eggs are sautéed in a bed of melted butter. Sunnyside up, of course, gently cooked so no burning of the whites or butter!

Sixth, the muffins are toasted well so brown and dark edges are evident; slathered with butter as they come out of the toaster, the butter is allowed to melt into the crags and crannies of the muffin forming pools of melted butter abundantly across the face of each muffin half.

Seventh, the eggs are done; whites firm; yolks runny; buttery pools everywhere. The eggs are slid onto the plate; the excess butter in the frying pan is poured carefully over the top of the eggs. The muffin halves are arranged on the plate next to the eggs so yolk and butter will sidle up and into the absorbent edges of the muffin.

Orange juice is poured; either fresh squeezed or frozen Minute Maid. With the latter choice, allow the juice to warm to room temperature.

Now, cut the eggs so the whites and yolk run together with the butter. Slip the eggs from the fork into the mouth. Savor the butter and egg-iness. A little salt helps but not too much. Once the flavor of eggs has permeated the taste buds, it is time to take a bite of buttery English muffin. Observe the pools of melted butter contained in the toasted crevices! Anticipate the sweet yet salty tang of the butter mixed with the muffin.

Alternate bites of egg and muffin until the plate is clear. Wipe excess yolk from the plate with any remainder of muffin.

Now, one at a time, take a slice of bacon, cut it in fourths, and carefully wipe the plate free of egg yolk and then pop the bacon morsel into the mouth. Experience the saltiness as you chew. Rejoice in the juiciness of the bacon. Wow!

Repeat this two more times.

Now finish your breakfast of joy with small sips of room temperature orange juice. Maybe an ambitious gulp or two, but mostly sips.

As the breakfast ends, think back on the eggs, their runniness, the muffins, the butter and the bacon. Each offers a taste treat that creates sluices of saliva. An overload of wonder that builds anticipation for the next time we create the Breakfast of Joy! Just imagine it.

It would save calories and statin pills if we fed off the imagination alone. But the taste would fade eventually. Nope! Better to make this breakfast a twice-weekly menu staple.

PS: Rocky calls this recipe The Breakfast of Heart Attacks. Pish tosh, I say!

November 28, 2012