Pleasure vs Joy

The terms ‘joy’ and ‘pleasure’ are interesting. They sound very much alike, but I think they are not. Pleasure is defined as satisfaction, enjoyment, fulfillment – words like that. Joy, on the other hand, is defined as exhilaration, pleasure beyond belief, extraordinary happiness, at least for a moment. Joy seems to be measured by depth or height of  an emotional register while pleasure, although quite pleasant, is of shorter duration.

There have been times in my life – surely yours as well – when joy seemed absent. A sense of worth was missing in my life. A bounce to my step was missing. There wasn’t much to look forward to. That sort of thing plagued by feelings and thinking. I turned to friends and asked, “do you have joy in your life?” If so, how do you identify it, define it, measure it, etc.?

I must admit they looked at me somewhat dumbfounded! It took some talking to convince them I was serious in my question. And of course they lent a hand to the quest.

The search for joy was an interesting one. It lasted for a few months when suddenly I realized I had ceased the search. Wondering about that I learned I had found joy! It was there, in my life. This is and was especially true when I wasn’t looking for it. Imagine that!

Joy helped me leap out of bed in the morning. Joy masked physical pains of aging so I didn’t recognize them; they were still there, just not such a big deal. I looked forward to a nap, to a night’s rest, and the getting up on the morrow. I anticipated good things and expected them to happen during the day. I had faith and trust in others and looked forward to the relationships I had with each person. I had found ‘joy’ and it was good.

A few years later and I felt a longing for something. There was a void that was difficult to define but I knew it was there. I could feel it. It was sort of like a brooding, or a gloom, not a foreboding or sense of imminent disaster. No, it was sensing something was missing and that it was somehow important.

That’s when I came up with the term pleasure. Was pleasure missing in my life? What in fact gave me pleasure?

As one ages pleasure is encountered in many ways large and small, mostly small. It’s the little things in life that give one pleasure. Like a crystal breath of fresh air in the morning when it is cool and crisp. Or a morning of bird song and dancing leaves on trees that have been bare for the winter months and suddenly in spring they are green with life. That’s pleasure. Rushing waters of a steam or river in the woods is a pleasure, too. The same with a slow walk through the woods, smelling the rich aroma of decomposing needles and leaves underfoot, the rich loamy soil bursting with nutrients and supporting abundant new life.

Flowers with fresh blooms, whether in early blooming garden beds or summery hanging baskets, they all proclaim life and beauty.

Then there is music, of course! Strains of melodies, strong chordal compositions, booming organ preludes, symphonic gestures of august complex sounds or simple lilting ballads, all announce their unmistakable presence. Lyrics, too, grace the music giving it added meaning. Choral music has a special place in our culture. So too popular music that mirrors the yearnings of all of us as we encounter the mystery that is life.

Pleasure is mine in writing. Such efforts allow me to go on journeys of the mind that expand my view of the world, my experience of life. These are things unrelated to making a living. But they are related to making a life.

Perhaps that is the source of pleasure? Making of a life. Mine or someone else’s.

I sat in a meeting the other day and wanted to ask others in the room what gave them pleasure. But I demurred and sat silently. I observed and listened. Driving home afterwards I still was in a quandary.

This morning, writing this piece I began to glimpse something that made sense. Pleasure is all around us, and like joy, it is found while not looking for it.

Pleasure is found in the little things – reading a book that captures the imagination and sets you free to think on rare thoughts; listening to music that explores feelings not normally on view; feeling the air embrace the skin of the arm or face when least expected; a smile on a stranger’s face appearing as a gift with no reason or cause – these are pleasures to me.

Past pleasures like food, thrill seeking, exercise and vitality, or not current pleasures. They all have a cost that is unpleasant. Body aches and pains, for one, accumulated weight gain and fat for another. The costs are real. They cause discomfort so they are avoided or engaged in small doses. Each does, however, reminds you of what you are beginning to miss as age advances.

The wonder of end times is not the definition of lack of pleasure or joy. No; that is not what I mean here at all. End times come to each of us in their time. That is a fact that cannot be ignored. It need not be dwelled upon. While one lives it is their duty to find the joy and pleasure that remains. Well, a duty to find is a bit harsh; no, I’ve said before, one finds joy and pleasure when not looking for them. Perhaps that is the art of living? Well, I’ll have to think about that for a bit!

September 11, 2015