Unreliable Times

The most unsettling thing about America these days is its unreliable nature. I thought I understood my neighbors, family and friends. But when discussion turns to news items it is clear not all of us are of the same mind. No, far from it!

The brother of one of my in laws – funny and quirky – but now I learn he is a Trump supporter. The truly odd thing is that he is a third first generation Hispanic born here of parents who were born in native lands – one Mexico, the other Cuba.

I suspect his perspective may be driven by stagnant career opportunities, but there are a number of ways to address that. Besides, his present circumstances are comfortable and he has a very happy life as far as I know of it. I don’t get why he would be so supportive of a person like Trump who so far has done nothing to change or even address the ‘needs’ of my relation. In fact the opposite is most likely going to happen: what he fears will worsen under Trump.

Look, I think the primary issues are these:

1. People fear that what America once was will be lost forever
2. Others fear Trump will actually make the loss more real 

Both sides are right. America of the 1950’s and 1960’s is gone forever. And good riddance. Those may have been simpler times and nostalgia is always a pleasant trip down memory lane, but often the trip is not realistic. It is overblown by emotions and attachments with others who are no longer with us; that is part of what we lost. But the social mores changed to better. The past was fearful of communists, conspiracies, Cold War destruction, the Bomb, and so much more. Our society was deep into racism and denial of that very same racism. It was also sexist. Male chauvinism was rampant, all in the name of polite society. Yes, Ma’am. No, Ma’am. Yes, sir! Let me hold that door for you. Oh please, take my seat!

Polite hid the fact that women were second class. They were to allow men to be held in higher esteem and assume leadership positions in everything – the church, society, politics, employers, schools and careers. It was the natural social order of the day. Period. And any woman who stated the opposite was an outsider and a firebrand. She was ostracized, too and labeled a hussy! Ooh, those were mean days.

We didn't talk nicely about others to their face; we did so behind their backs. Gossip was an industry. Not a proud one but it had stamina and staying power.

Education in those days was open to two groups – one with money to pay high tuition and fees, and another who had ability to succeed in the studies. No one else need apply. Scholarship was touted but not rewarded even then. Athletics were and still are.

Yes, those were the days. One car in most garages. Women stayed home to keep house and raise the kids. To say society was male dominated would be an understatement. Money was scarce for most families and vacations were simple affairs. One didn’t travel to exotic places unless the family had wealth. Job opportunities were also scarce. And to keep social order, we were constantly reminded the world was a harsh and cruel place where other nations were out to defeat us or destroy us. Bomb shelters were suggested as something we should all plan for. We didn’t because they were too costly and, in the end, thought to be futile anyway.

Yes I have nostalgia for those days but the good feelings were from my inevitable journey of maturation and coming of age. The process is scary but oddly rewarding and deeply felt. It is unique to each of us. Fondness of past memories of this time in our life is natural. Scratch the surface just a little and suddenly the ugly appears.

No; the past is past and we have come a long way to better times. The present is much better than the past. Certainly we are living in the best of times and the worst of times. Each age can claim the same for itself. It is inevitable to do so. Even proper.

Today has its beauty and ugly.

And we are the ugly if we allow it to remain. If we say Trump embodies what we fear, then what is it you wish for? What are your developed thoughts on that? I’m excited and anxious to hear what it is you feel is the desired outcome of your hopes.

So far all I can see is the downside of Trump. And that scares me. Please assure me my fears are unfounded. So far immigrants are not feeling safe; neither are transgenders; or women; gays; educated; aspiring thinkers and artists. So you see there are many who hunger for hopeful signs from you and your fellow Trumpeters.

We await your wisdom and messages of hope.

When might we expect to hear from you on this?

March 2, 2017