Mentoring

In a rush she spewed her thoughts. Her commitment to serve specific people with particular problems was apparent. She was passionate. This was her mission in life. To serve and protect and empower these people who were so damaged and thwarted.


Her idea was to build programs to address their needs. Housing? Sure. Food and clothing? Yep! Counseling and coaching? You bet.


But how would she learn of these specific people?  Where would they come from? Would they learn of her helping hands? If so, from whom or what circumstance? Could she find them in special places? If so, where? What likely locations would yield the targets of her passion to help?


Where would she do the work needed to support the programs she envisioned? Where would she intersect with clients and actually house, feed and clothe them? In what environment would she counsel and mentor them?


What programs would accomplish these tasks? What formats and contents would deliver the outcomes so desperately hoped for?


All good questions. All promising answers that would steer her toward her goals. But now the how.

How can I structure answers and suggestions that will empower her? I cannot do this work for her, but I can talk her through much of it. Later she will see the wisdom and learn the how to do it herself. She will be empowered to empower others.


I’m not sure how I got to this place – empowering others to empower others to personal power and self-actualization. A lot of power in that statement!


Somehow time and experience gather pieces needed to put puzzles together. When finished the picture is clearly focused and understandable.


Analyzing the how sometimes destroys the ‘what’ and ‘how.’ Proceed with care. Do not disturb the magical glue that keeps things working well. Plod on with the client. Watch her grow and learn. See her building outcomes that belong only to her.


My job is done. She’s developing. On her own and self-directed. Outcomes building. The future is right there to be touched. Sweet.


February 28, 2019

News or Academy Awards

Well, the choice was not that, really. The news was over. We watched a bit of the national news, then “60 Minutes” and naturally switched over to the Academy Awards to see how a hostless behemoth show would flow (it did just fine!).


At first we did not intend to watch the whole extravaganza, but we did, right up to 10:20 pm when presenter Julia Roberts signed off for everyone (and she did just fine!).


The glamor was an obvious aspect of the evening. The behaviors and antics of celebrities is always a facet of interest. Soon the drama of the evening emerged: will this awards season feature well-earned attention to women, foreign talent and diverse ethnicity?


It certainly did. Women were in the forefront. So too, were the young and blacks and browns. A broad range of talent among a very diverse selection. Rich and at times surprising. The evening unfolded in an odd display of independence. The strut of pride remained in many, but humility reigned among the new faces and performers. Refreshing and upbeat. Human, too. So open and vulnerable to vast attention.


I think they did well. I was happy for them. They received kudos and a hearty slap on the back for jobs well done from their peers. Such an honor. It is humbling and revealing. A rich moment to observe.


Thinking of the week ahead I was reminded of the struggles of clients attempting to build new businesses or press forward with improved nonprofit operations serving key constituencies. Their struggles are real. They receive little or no attention for the work they do. The beneficiaries of the work appreciate their outputs; they are in such need. But peers often are caught up in their own efforts to advance a cause they are unaware of the dramas around them.


What are we about? What are the values we hold dear and fight for? Which imperatives get our attention? And why do we care about the Academy Awards?


I think I care because of this one simple thing: the academy is in the business of advancing the art form of film and its contributions to understanding the human condition. It is understanding life and other people which captures my attention. I feel more human and in touch with myself when a film is done well. The talent of hundreds makes the film effective. It is not only the stars; it is the entirety of the production that embraces the filmed action that makes for poignant moments.


We learn much about others from art forms. In turn that teaches us about ourselves.


We are the news makers. The Academy Awards only helps us understand that more clearly. And it motivates us to reach.


February 27, 2019

Crossroads

Walked into a restaurant Sunday evening – actually late afternoon, 4 pm. Staggered in with 7 other people from church. This is our 8 to Eat group, a social mixing of members so we get to know each other better. As we progressed toward our table, I became aware of how halting our entry to the dining room was. Three of the members walked with canes. Three of us walked with uncertainty and difficulty. Three were pulled into our parade by chance; our progress was slow. Servers and wait staff held back to let us pass.

“The old people are here!,” I said to whomever was nearby. A small ripple of laughter was the response.


I turned to one of our number and said, “when did I get so old?”  He politely demurred.


Scanning the menu we each commented on the selections. Then the litany of health restrictions surfaced. You would have thought we needed a hospital dietitian to guide our choices. None were available so we giddily considered the fun options.


I recall a time I visited my parents in Arizona at their senior housing facility. We went into Phoenix for a concert, then drove back home and stopped at a Dunkin’ Donuts at 10 pm or so. Eight of us, mostly elderly except for my 45-year old self. I remember the delight they had in a late night cup of good coffee and a freshly baked donut. The laughter was infectious. The bubbly enthusiasm for life delicious.


Later, I’d ask my folks how so and so was doing and had they seen them lately. The answers inevitably were disappointing.  “Casey had a stroke and is in long-term care now,” mom said. Dad quietly reported two deaths among the group. But I remember their joy and laughter of that evening.


An elder community lives with the constant change of illness and death. Relationships altered without recovery. Focus on self is inevitable along with the wonder of ‘when will it be me?’


As I sat with our 8 to Eat group, those thoughts niggled into my consciousness. Was I experiencing that same short-term joy and wonderment that my parents had? The laughter was real and welcome. So too the bantering exchanges. Puns flew fast and furious. The food came but the talk remained.


We enjoyed our time together. As we ventured the short way home, Rocky and I spoke of the outing. I shared my memory from Arizona. Together we arrived home in silence. Thinking. And wondering.


February 26, 2019

Of, For and By the People

330 million people in our nation. Each with their own idea of the world and how it should be. Focus closer to home, and they have other ideas. About food, house, family, neighbors, clothes and transportation. Music, too, and visual arts, performing arts and a host of other topics spring to mind. They encounter life and think about it; conscious or not.


Share a meal with any of them and they will talk about any of these topics. They listen to what others say, too, and adapt somewhat to this information. They test their own ideas and wonder about how they are different and why; or why they are so similar. Synchronicity of thoughts is comforting. Discordant ideas give pause.


And so it goes. Social media carries an endless host of variations on the same topics. News media and commentary publications go into more depth. Sides to issues become evident. Arguments begin; not all are friendly or civil. But little by little the ‘conversations’ subject our brains to thinking and adjusting what we believe.


The variations are endless. Agreement among all is impossible. Right and wrong are not as stark as we often believe.


In politics this same process is at work. And it should be. Only in authoritarian societies is political discussion assumed to be a one-way street. Not so in a democracy. Democracies are messy by nature. It is the differences at work that lead to workable consensus. Not total agreement, but general agreement on one topic or portion of a topic at a time. Later, much later, the direction of the consensus takes on more shape. Eventually a policy is developed and agreed to; now for the implementation! Even then the issues comprising the agreement will undergo much more discussion.  Messy.


With this background, why would anyone think Americans should be governed by one party or the other? Neither the republicans or democrats have all the answers. More likely a blend is needed to arrive at consensus. Enough consensus to get work done.


Just because I think most republicans are sounding inauthentic, manipulative and nonsensical, doesn’t mean I think they have no good arguments. Same for democrats. No one has all the answers. Or policies.


The messiness of our heritage is what built our nation. Diverse peoples. Diverse thoughts. Diverse decisions. Complicated consensus and compromise. In the end (which is momentary bit by bit!), we learn more and accomplish more through the diversity.


Celebrate this fact. Value it deeply. It is the heart and soul of our national identity. Just because some are uncomfortable doesn’t mean we should make all uncomfortable. White, brown or black, we are all the same. America knows this better than most nations. It is the core of our strength.

It is why our form of government is of, by and for the people.


I embrace this and our differences. Do you?


February 25, 2019

Power Without Values

Lindsay Graham is loaded for bear. He wants Andrew McCabe before his senate committee to grill him and determine how enemies of trump in the FBI and elsewhere in the government planned to investigate and remove trump from office. He thinks democrats were planning a coup via the 25^th Amendment. Never mind that all the principles at the FBI are lifelong republicans and loyal Americans. Dedicated to their jobs, the country and the Constitution.


Graham knows better than that. Knows all about the 25^th Amendment; most likely thought about it when Obama was president. He has conspiracy theories galore because he thinks in conspiracies in the first place, and in the second place, he truly pants hard to ‘get’ enemies however he can. He has shown his dirty political stripes many times in the past two years, let alone the previous 8 years. Nasty. Downright nasty.


Remember when he tutored John McCain when John was running for president? There was Lindsay, whispering in John’s ear several times each day as McCain spoke nonsense off the cuff in countries and situations he little understood. He corrected himself many times, especially in matters dealing with Israel. You may recall the trips to Jerusalem and Tel Aviv when McCain opined carelessly; Lindsay would whisper in his ear and John would correct himself to avoid an international incident.


Truth be told, Graham understood presidential nuance better than McCain. And Lindsay sorely wanted to be the power behind a president. Today he is practicing the same moves to support an even more vapid person in mr. trump. He rides his white stallion to the rescue of Donald hoping to win favor. Strange turn of events when we recall the many times Lindsay accused the trumper of ill-considered legislative moves. Seems Lindsay worships the protocols of the senate and doesn’t want anyone messing with those hallowed treasures. Even the Donald.


How Graham can be for the donald and then against him, and then for him again, is beyond my pay grade. I wonder if Lindsay really believes his own posturing or if he is auditioning for a special role in the trumper’s white house?


I have concluded that Lindsay is more unprincipled than the one he protects. And that’s a low standard these days. Wow!


By the way, if you were in McCabe’s shoes, and Rod Rosenstein’s, wouldn’t you sit in your office talking candidly about what the events of the day meant to their responsibilities? Wouldn’t you wonder what options lay before you to fulfill those responsibilities? Even in unimaginable times such as these?


McCabe and Rosenstein were simply doing what their jobs demanded of them. Serve and protect the nation even if the enemy is within.


Another Wow!


February 22, 2019

Presidential Communication

A serious president does not Twitter, Facebook or stage rambling press conferences. A serious leader plans his thoughts meticulously, sorts them out, expands on them, connects them with other topics, and generally develops a mature vision of his/her own direction forward.

Serious communication starts with preparation. Then the written word.

The written word becomes the bedrock documentation of what is said going forward. Speeches are created from that platform. So too, press conferences that have purpose and direction.

Today, the ‘president’ tweets his thoughts, quips and bon mots. He trammels foes constantly. He depicts people as good or bad. Little substance is provided; just opinion and spin.

Press conferences hosted by the Press Secretary were abandoned many months ago. For all intents there is no press secretary. One wonders who is the actual Director of White House Communications? There seems to be no one in charge but the occupant of the oval office.

People are missing in formerly trusted positions of authority – UN Ambassador, Press Secretary, National Security Advisor, CIA Director, FBI Director, Attorney General, and others – making coherent policy statements scarce. The only one speaking is the ‘president.’ And his word is not trustworthy. His persona is that of a TV Talking Head. And we mostly don’t trust them anymore, either.

All of this leads to the inevitable conclusion that there is no one in charge of anything in the Executive Branch.

It is time the media accept this and cover the Washington DC story in another manner. Giving the ‘president’ face time is a mistake. It only deepens the abyss of misstated communication. It is mumble and bumble only. It is a TV reality show gone horribly wrong. Its skin of pretense is breached. The rent is about to be fully ripped open.

We are now in crisis mode. Firmly. Who is in charge? Who will step forward? Mitch McConnell is too invested in his own ego and conservative agenda to be worth anything. He has accumulated vast riches from his government service; and power. He needs nothing more. And he accomplishes little. So who will take his place in the vacuum of Senate Leadership?

Nancy Pelosi will step forward, a proven leader and organizer. The Supreme Court has a few people who will function as emergency leaders giving our tri-partite form of government a chance to function. It is the Executive Branch that is missing in this three-party schema.

Who will lead from there?  Certainly not Mike Pence. And the Secretary of State is not yet a proven commodity.

Just asking some basic questions. Who has the answers? Isn’t it time to work out the details on what we will do to serve and protect America and her constitution?

February 21, 2019

Ego Trump

Democracy is all about the people of a nation speaking openly among themselves to learn what matters most to them, who articulates the issues best, and who is likely the best leader among all those voices. It is a messy process. Many voices. Many personalities. Different styles of interaction. Each jostling for position and visibility.

Like a group photo at a reunion, it is difficult to pick out each person, see each individual. Smashed together, some are hidden behind others or out of focus and indistinguishable.

Getting a clear picture of each person is tricky. Even more so their individual voice. And message.

Soon the jostling for visibility becomes shrill, even insistent. Comparison of message becomes hyped and too detailed for common consumption. Understanding is clouded. Personality is then pressed forward as distinguishing feature. A studied smile, posed glance and jaunty quip becomes the face of the candidate.

Competition is not just for ideas; nor clarity of thought. No, it is for likeability, attractiveness and much more.

The mosh pit of politics in a democracy is not neat. How then does the body politic choose the best among many? How does a political party present a coherent message for serious thought and debate among voters. How will voters come to consensus, especially among so many nuanced, competing messages?

Tumbling for victory involves making yourself look good among many. Candidates tout their strengths over the others. Ego becomes a badge, a brand. Until it missteps toward ugly caricature. Ego misplayed becomes a candidate’s death sentence.

Ego trumps the candidate.

Today Democrat candidates for president in 2020 are plentiful. Some new faces, some old. New to the current lineup is Bernie Sanders. An old hand, a previous candidate, and a voluble spout of ideology. He continues to seek the presidency in spite of his age of 76. He would be 78 when inaugurated should he win. For me that is a fatal age. Too old to be certain of longevity to complete a term, let alone two terms. The instability of that happening creates nightmare images for the nation. I avoid his candidacy. Not his message. Much of what he says contains truth and value. Just not all of it.

And that begs a few good questions: first, how do we blend good ideas into one holistic message to test for consensus? Second, how do we determine the best leadership skills among many candidates? Third, can we encourage team play among the candidates so the best rises to the top with the support of all the others?  Fourth, how do we heal the divisions among the candidates to support the best mix of ideas and solutions for the body politic?

Ego is needed if a strong candidate is to convince us he or she is the best of the pack. But ego destroys teamwork. Bernie proved that in 2015 and 2016. He played his part too well; he could not decompress and become the team player needed at the time. healing among his supporters to the larger cause was not evident. The vote was fractured and the nation has been saddled with not the best president.

Democracy is messy. Democracy does work. But it can be manipulated, too. To our detriment.

I like Bernie’s message in many aspects. I don’t agree with it all, or in its broad sweep to fix everything. Bits and pieces of it in small doses can be very helpful in the work ahead. Not a wholesale acceptance of all, but some. I’d much rather he work with others to mentor and shape a successful campaign of a younger person. We need new blood. We need fresh faces and thinking. We need more women and people of diversity, too. Those are the components of democracy.

Today, ego plays too large a part. It trumps the system. Because of that Trump has trumped our system of governance. It does not look good or work well.

To gain a better outcome, dump the ego and look for a strong team to lead us forward.

February 20, 2019

Reality Show Values

I have a rule in my entertainment choices – do not engage shows that manipulate feelings merely for plot strategy.

You can tell which shows do this. With so many channels and networks available on cable, shows compete for ratings to boost ad rates. That means dollars in the pockets of both producers and networks. With popular shows running several years, storylines constantly seek unique and riveting plot lines. The best succeed; the worst become copycats and manipulative.

Grey’s Anatomy is an example that won for many years, then finally succumbed to soap opera standards of manipulation. Bones did the same. Every now and again we see it in Blue Bloods, and NCIS. This is Us did it early in the game and is the reason we no longer watch it. Even HGTV shows have fallen prey: Love it or List It, Property Brothers, and a few others.

Manipulation is not real; thus the ‘reality’ is a sham.

The value structure sells out for commercial reasons. Like game shows, the lure becomes more important than the substance. Same for many shows trashing entertainment line-ups.

With TV screen as life-mirror, it is no wonder that a ‘reality star’ was elected to the White House. Of more interest is how ‘fake news’ the reality star has spouted has taken root on the political scene. Furthering his theme, he latches on to whatever he wants the public to think and believe as though it truly is real. It isn’t, of course. It is not real. To him it may seem real; and that's the real danger. 

It is a small step of fiction as fact. The ‘emergency’ is not so; the rampant criminal acts of immigrants – legal or illegal – are not true. All made up. So too many facts that populate his off the cuff speeches and news conferences. They are a stage to mislead or present a pretend world as real. But nothing can make them true.

It isn’t long before others try the same tactic. Jussie Smollett seems to have staged a homophobic and racist attack; for what motive we can only imagine – ratings for his role on Empire? Attracting audiences to his live shows? Who knows?  Latest news based on true journalism paints a sorry picture of opportunism and fakery by Smollett. 

I hoped it was not true. I cringed for Chicago’s reputation as an open and tolerant city for diverse populations. Smollett is an attractive and talented artist. I did not wish either his or the city’s reputation to be shaded. But now……

The real story here is that the American audience of news shows, entertainment productions and documentary journalism are not certain of what is fact and what fiction. This permeates every facet of our social media today.

Now that’s a sad reality.

February 19, 2019

Assessment Time

Chaos reigns in Washington DC. Entire Executive Branch departments are headed by appointees sworn to follow the Oval Office inhabitant, not the needs of the nation’s people. Rules are changed. Laws ignored. Protocols and relationships build over many decades, destroyed. Very few tenets are proclaimed to be the goals of the government’s mission under the named leader.

In short, what is normally up is now defined as down; what is in is now out. What is truth is now a lie and vice versa.

This modus operandi may work to unsettle the established order, but we are witnessing the established order thrown under the bus en masse. This is wrong. This is cockeyed. This is dangerous. For all of us.

What to do? It is time that leaders in the federal government – all three branches – huddle for common cause and determine a path forward. The US Constitution provides the answers. Entire law schools have lawyers and academics who understand the Constitution. They need to step forward and mentor the leaders in government. Together these people can thread their way back to bed rock governance.

The sitting ‘president’ is no longer in charge of himself, let alone the government of, for and by the people. It is now up to us and our elected representatives to do the right thing and preserve and protect the Constitution of the United States of America. That is their sworn duty to do.

It is time to stand and deliver on that oath.

The ‘president’ is out of control and does not recognize right from wrong. He is rudderless and unprincipled. It is time to declare him unfit for office and replace him with the emergency powers provided in the Constitution.

I am not the expert here. There are many experts with proper credentials to do this work. Let them do so. For all of our sakes.

And then, let’s get back to serving the common good of mankind and build peace as we ought.

February 18, 2019

Re-ordering Priorities

Each of us benefits from clearly identifying the priorities that steer our life. Focusing on what’s most important pays great dividends. Then turning our focus to lesser priorities becomes easier and more productive.

Over time priorities change. It is natural. What was once small may grow into an enormous barrier to progress; it then requires our attention away from our previously arranged priorities. We do what is necessary for the short term, then invest more resources into the big things that take more time. Progress is needed on both long-term and short-term priorities.

I have written on national priorities before. Perhaps many times. I think it needs repeating. What are the most important issues we should be attending to today?

·        Safety of our nation in the global community: military defense and diplomatic strengths

·        Well-being of our people: health (including mental health), financial stability and adequate housing, nutrition and social interaction

·        Access to life-long education appropriate to ability and interest

·        Fair and just treatment in all matters: civil, criminal justice, and social opportunity

·        Governance of, by and for the people as guaranteed in the US Constitution

·        Economic opportunity

As I review the list I think the items are presented in priority order. Each item is comprised of many items worthy of major work. The first item recognizes our interdependency on other nations in maintaining national safety and security. Included is the health and safety of the planet itself. That is not a topic of self interest or control by any single nation.

Although we will be as happy or conflicted as we allow ourselves, we have it pretty good in America. It could be better, and it could be more accessible to all of our people. We have much work to do. We have many resources to commit to each area. Above all else, we have the people power and talents to do excellent work.

Best we start. Take nothing for granted. 

February 15, 2019

Judging Intent

We have many new women serving in Congress. Many of these are young and diverse in their ethnicity, world view, and religion. They have a lot to say. They already are voicing their ideas. Some of those ideas are poorly phrased or awkward. The core of the ideas, however, remain vital to our future.

I applaud these newcomers to our governance. I wish them well and encourage their development in process, policy and protocol. I will not judge their opinions. I will listen to them; all of them. I will fold those thoughts into my own to determine what I need to refresh in my own mind. I see this as a means of remaining relevant in a changing world.

I see others rushing to judge what these newcomers are saying. They are claiming knowledge of what these people mean and intend. I suggest they have jumped the gun and need to slow down, listen, and ask questions.

I am not anti-Semitic. Nor has anyone ever suggested that of me. I do resent how much funding we provide Israel on an annual basis. I know our two nations support one another, but I fear the current Israeli leader has often taken advantage of American resources. He has leveraged his political needs as a requirement for America to be a trusted partner with Israel. The suggestion is we are not good friends if we don’t agree with his positions. This has pulled us into some nasty international difficulties that have precluded better diplomatic solutions.

One of our new congresswomen is a Muslim, Rep. Omar; she pointed out how support in Congress is expected by an American Organization that is in lockstep with Israel. AIPEC is the group and it is a powerful PAC (political action committee). She is right. There are significant loyalties expected between Israel and America in the halls of Congress. They ought not be taken for granted. Her comments are appropriate for serious discussions going forward. Instead she is being slammed as anti-Semitic. That’s a cheap shot and unworthy of our system.

The new congresswoman has been honest in her approach and wishes a serious discussion of the issues. She deserves respect and consideration, not condemnation.

The president has suggested she resign from Congress. Given his missteps and erroneous statements, claims and exaggerations, he should resign the presidency.  Congressional leaders who mirror his sentiments on this issue are well advised to rethink their position.

Saying someone is anti-Semitic because of their ethnicity, religious beliefs, or gender, is outrageous. That was not the intent of her statements. But the heart of the subject matter deserves our full attention, and soon. Peaceful coexistence in Israel requires a peaceful solution to the plight of Palestinians. We've all known this. We allow Netanyahu to block progress in opposition to America's best interest. That's what Ms. Omar is asking us to consider.

February 14, 2019

Women Talent

I was asked once if I were a feminist. I pled guilty and asked ‘why not?’  I have a mother, sister, grandmothers, aunts, great aunts, a wife, daughter and now daughters in law along with granddaughters. I care about them and for them. I want the best for them.

If that is true, then how could I not be a feminist, looking out for their best interests?

I came to value a black American for President. He was elected to the position. I was immensely proud of him and grateful for his talent, worth and discharge of duties while in office. His wife, the First Lady, was an enormous credit to herself, him and the White House.

I found Hillary Clinton a credible candidate for President. She was bright, educated, experienced, and knew the ropes of the presidency. Of course I supported her candidacy. Along the way I also found myself cheering on other female candidates for elected office. I was not disappointed by any of them.

Today, we prepare for the presidential election of 2020. Many women have entered the race for the White House. All of them have talents to do a great job if they win election. All of them. They will bring something special to the office that males have not. Caring and nurturing is one dimension we have needed for a long time. I hope and trust they will provide this if they win.

I want them to win. I hope they win.

Now, another aspect of the 2020 campaign yet to happen: we need mentors and coaches by experienced, knowledgeable people to help prepare new candidates for their positions should they win office. Our current campaigns are singular competitions between individuals. It needs to be broadened.

My view is this: take the most senior, successful politicians who understand the intricate workings of government, and have them form a training team for the younger candidates. Talented potential candidates who are near or over 70 years of age, should not run, but should help the others. The political parties should select their best candidates and prepare them for leadership and modern day government management. Then let the primaries give the voters their best choice. The following election will select the finalist who will lead and nurture us.

I want women in my government and in executive roles. They are strong and aware. They are outstandingly capable to do the job. Let’s help them get there and prepare.

I like and respect Joe Biden, Chuck Schumer, Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton; but they are not the candidates for the future. That is for younger people with energy, vision and talent. We have many of these available. Let us not waste their potential. Meanwhile, thank the elders and enlist them to train and build leaders for the future.

I look forward to women and men, young and educated, black, brown and any other shade as well. This is America. Allow its greatest strengths to live and develop!

February 13, 2019

Car and Cast

The driver makes his way to pick up two passengers, then the third. They are related – father, mother, son. Son is 34 years old; mom is 71 and dad is 80. They are in trouble. Life vectors them in different directions.

Dad valiantly hangs on to family, doing his duty to nurture and mentor relations and healthy outcomes. Mom engages as best she can with failing short-term memory. The daily saga is a staccato performance without connection to her history or recent context. Son is homeless, jobless, moody and prone to alcohol sprees. Hiding from himself and the world, he pursues a goalless future.

Dad is retired. An attorney by training with a storied career in the past, a once young tennis star with ambitions, a writer and enthusiast to report on sports, politics and the ever-evolving American culture. Broad interests coupled with expressive literary talents, he has ventured into many pursuits to support a large family.

Mom is an actor. She worked in film, TV and stage. Serious roles and supporting ones; commercials, too. A darling of author and playwright Tennessee Williams, she and husband traveled the country with Williams as new material for plays and films were explored. She worked with Robert Redford, Roger Moore and Harrison Ford to name a few bright lights. Her movie and TV credits are many. She was famous in her time, now a woman with a faded past. She is a stimulating conversationalist. Easy to laugh, easy with complex thoughts, she is present in following discussion. She goes blank – ‘Where are we? Why are we here? What’s going on?’ She picks up a conversation but not the one we left. The break is complete.

Dad protects mom diligently. He is devoted to her present and past. He labors to maintain her happiness, her love. He fears she will walk a hall and get lost. He accompanies her everywhere but the bathroom. He naps furtively and quickly lest she wander off. Sleeping the night through is iffy for him; she may get up for a nocturnal bathroom visit and wander out of the apartment. He plans their eating, their daily errands and routines. He tires. He is exhausted. His own health declines with age but there is no time to attend to those matters.

Son is aware of his parents’ issues. He worries over them. He prefers living with them to be a caregiver in their final years. Yet he is unable to manage his own affairs. He is a young man without focused ambition. No career in mind, no education or experience to fuel a successful career. He was a gifted athlete in high school and was recruited to college teams. He dropped out of college fearful of the academic work ahead of him. He was not prepared for such work; athletic field, yes, class, no. Intelligent but not educated. He entered the adult world unprepared for what lay ahead. He failed at most things. Short term jobs with low pay. Nothing much to build a future on. Relationships were much the same. One-night stands, plenty of sex and laughs. Alcohol was a frequent component. Fun was the object; responsibility was out of mind.

Dad and Mom were unhappy in their current housing; senior citizen apartments with supervision and care, along with full food service, nurses in the building and a pharmacy/dispensary. Accredited facility accepting Medicaid payments. Residents mostly with memory loss, wandering the halls, vacant stares and walkers. Mom and Dad detested this warehouse. They wanted an apartment in which to live their own lives. I was asked to help them. I drove them to apartment complexes and explored communities in which they might be happy.

Then the son lost his job, drank himself into a stupor, was taken to hospital. Dad asked me to help transport the son and talk with him. He was not amenable to the attention. Not ready yet for serious dialogue on his state of mind. But without a job, no money and certain to lose his apartment, dad diverted his own apartment rent money to house the son in a motel. Son continued drinking. Visits to the ER became more frequent and urgent.

Finally, without funds, we took him to the local homeless shelter. He was sober for 20 days at the time and he lied to gain entrance to the facility. They took him in. Dad and Mom continued to pay for Uber rides, cigarettes and occasional meals out. I drove. Together we talked and encouraged him to remain sober and look for a job. He did remain sober, found a job within walking distance of the shelter, and began working.

Meanwhile, Dad and Mom remained in their senior housing complex but saved rent payments to support the son in his journey toward health and self-sufficiency. Sobriety peaked at 105 days and working the job for 4 and a half weeks. Then an episode of fearing his boss and co-workers, and he escaped to the motel, hid, drank.

Mom and dad were evicted and moved to the same motel as the son. Now all three were homeless and in need. Dad had money saved to find an apartment but did not make timely decisions about that; his attention was on son and wife.

I continue to drive them places. The conversation is more pointed: son pressed toward mental health assessment and treatment; he agrees, but the services not yet arranged by shelter staff. We hope for this. Meanwhile, dad is pressed to decide on an apartment, any apartment. With declining cash and destroyed credit, it will not be easy to find the next home. We are hopeful.

Their family so far has not come to the aid of these three – a half-brother, three daughters and another son – remain skeptical that the three are strong enough to manage their own affairs. I wonder if they will now insert themselves to help. Or will they muddle things up and force mom to live in a separate facility and dad in another? The son/brother is likely to be institutionalized for a period while professionals weigh his fate.

I labor on the sidelines. I have no training for this sort of drama. Just the caring and availability of time and a car. I wonder how this will play out?

February 12, 2019

Racist or Not?

I remain surprised each time a racist comment or action is uncovered for view. I wonder if I am racist in any way. I think on these two thoughts often. Why?

I suppose I’ve learned over the decades that racism is insidious and exists even in places – nooks and crannies – we least expect it. That’s the surprise. Our society has attended to this cultural problem for a long time. I keep thinking we have it licked; we don’t. Obviously.

The ‘obviously’ troubles me. It means that I may be a racist, too. Am I?

An honest self-analysis gives me hope that I’m not a racist; then I continue to think if I’ve been too easy on myself. There’s the problem. How honest are we? I once answered a question from Jesse Jackson (Do you think you are a racist?) with ‘I don’t really know.’ He told me that’s a good answer. We don’t really know everything that is a part of racism. It hides from ourselves; we are blind to it.

That interchange happened in the late 60’s; I’ve never forgotten it.

Nor should I. I’m white, educated, and lived a strong middle-class life. I’ve had advantages people of color most likely have not. I’m not truly aware of this difference in our lives unless I think about it honestly. White privilege provides many invisible advantages we white folk take for granted. We are not aware of them. They are there none the same. We benefit from them; others do not. They feel the difference; we do not.

The difference indicates racism. I don’t embrace the difference. I understand it and recognize it when analyzed like this. Does this define me as a racist?

I don’t think so. Being aware of the difference and providing a bridge beyond it for those adversely affected by it, is a good thing. It is a positive response to racism. The latter remains a social problem because I am only one person in a moment of time recognizing this and doing something about it. Millions more need to be doing the same if we are to defeat age-old racism. Even then I don’t do this work 100% of the time. So, a crack exists in which racism can survive. Even for me.

We have programs in place to do this work for the entire state, region or nation. However, 100% of our fellow citizens don’t know, understand or support these measures. The racism battle is personal; it is fought by each of us every day. We don’t do it every day, do we? Nor are we all able to understand this all the time, or even in the same way. So, the problem continues.

The roots of racism vary from region to region and from family history to family history. Witness the 30 or 40-year-old photos unearthed of current day politicians in black face costumes or KKK apparel. What they did back then came from a social surround that made sense then; today it stands in direct conflict with our values. How far have these people come in their racial consciousness?  How internally have they adopted change in their lives? Are they racist? Or are they ‘cured?’

That’s for them to answer for themselves. It also remains for us to see them as fully human and wonder about their intrinsic sense of fairness, honesty and justice.

I feel sorry for some of these politicians, but I remain skeptical of their values until demonstrated. The question is: Have they demonstrated being a non-racist?

I wish Virginians the best in their efforts to resolve this problem among them. The rest of us should remember we have the same work to do as well. I’m thinking this work is never done.

February 11, 2019

Writing in the Moment

I am creating this post in real time. It’s 6 am on Friday, February 8. It has been a busy week – both for action and thinking. My mind has been focused on immediate realities, not so much long-term. Here’s a bit of my journal:

Monday: family friends I’ve been helping called to let me know their adult son was in hospital again for alcohol poisoning. The son lives in a shelter, found a job, worked it for over a month, was sober 105 days, actually put a deposit on shared space in an apartment with co-workers, then became upset, failed to show up for work, hid in a local motel, drank and turned his back to the world. Mom and dad, meanwhile, were evicted from their senior citizen apartment facility and moved to the same motel their son had chosen. One year of work with them over in a trice with no positives.

With a free day suddenly available, we continued our quest for a vehicle Rocky could enter and exit more easily than our small car. We found a used SUV but Rocky didn’t want to go into debt for a used car. We explored our Hyundai dealer’s previous offer for a lease of a similar vehicle. It took all day to arrange the transaction, but we did so successfully and affordably. We drove home in a new 2019 Hyundai Tucson SUV. Nicely equipped for old people who twist and turn easily, it is perfect for Rocky to get in and out of with Parkinson’s Disease.

Shortly after I kept my 7 pm date with the Writers Connection at the library. I read two of my recent blogs for critique. It was a fun evening after a difficult day of at the auto dealership.

Tuesday: I had an early Coumadin Clinic appointment, Rocky had an appointment with his diabetes doctor, and I had lunch with the family friends with problems reported on Monday. The hospital released the son with encouragement to continue his sobriety journey and extra meds to ease the next few days. They urged him to return to work on this very day; he did, and his boss told him to return on Wednesday to meet with him; an ominous sign. The rest of the meal we talked of what his action steps should be given the variables as they unfold. If he loses his job, he needs to find out about the apartment he has a deposit on, and whether he can get the money back. Then check if the shelter will welcome him back. Also, will shelter staff help him get a mental health assessment from a local state facility. The rest of the lunch talk focused on urging the parents to continue their search for affordable housing. I returned them to the motel with hopes that maybe they had turned a corner.

I then focused on the opening session of Nexus scheduled for 6:30 that evening. An ice storm was forecast and arrived right on time – 5:30 pm. Rush hour traffic was slow and tedious. Streets and vehicles were coated in ice. We didn’t expect a good turnout for Nexus. We were right: 5 showed up. We carried on and used the session as an organizing meeting. We are good to go and will share our decisions for all who attend in the future. Group consensus will tweak the process as we gain experience. Then home.

Wednesday: laundry, bathroom and kitchen cleaning day. Followed by grocery shopping. I wrote some blogs, caught up on internet and email traffic and took a long nap in the afternoon. My body was regaining its equilibrium from the previous two days.

Thursday: learned my family friends had encountered more trouble. The son had indeed lost his job and the apartment was not refundable even though it was related to the employment he now no longer had. The shelter did keep him housed and promised to help him with his troubles going forward. A sigh of relief in at least one corner of his life.

I continued to save my energy, bought a pair of long-needed shoes, and napped luxuriously.

Friday: here I am relating the above. I have a mentoring appointment this morning and look forward to helping my client with her business plans. Later I will learn if my family friends, the parents, have a list of apartments to visit today. Surely, one of them will accept them into their facility! We can hope.

In retirement one is not idle. The activity keeps the mind and body functioning. And so, it does. This blog is proof of that. I’ll be back on Monday.

February 8, 2019

State of the Union

For those of us paying close attention, we already know the state of the union. We do not need the sitting president to tell us; certainly not this president. Given his penchant for spin and outright lying, there isn’t much we can gain from his reports, written or spoken.

That leaves us to other sources for information. Our options are many: academic within many different fields of study (political science, history, sociology and anthropology to name but a few), serious media organizations known for their research and policy studies, as well as trusted reporters within well-funded and quality journalism companies.

Interdisciplinary approaches to understanding current issues is yet another resource to tap. Recognized writers and thinkers produce commentaries on their findings and conclusions. Daily we can read their work. We can actively form our own independent conclusions while using all of these resources. That’s what serious minded people do.

My read on the state of the union is summarized thusly:

·        International Affairs: upset relationships in most arenas. Fake treaty with North Korea opens US to more intrigue and failure in years to come. Russia relationship worst in years; they have cheated on most of their treaties with the US; they flaunt it; then accuse the US of doing the same; Russia is untrustworthy under Putin. China flexing her muscles in ominous ways while stealing technology patents and intellectual property from anywhere they can find it, especially the US. Middle East is a hot mess made worse by the meanderings of both the Bush and Trump administrations. South America ignored. Both Canada and Mexico insulted by our president.

·        Economy: the collapse of the American Economy was at hand when Obama saved it and rebuilt its monetary and regulatory infrastructure to provide sound platforms for growth and stability. That worked wonders. Current president tweaking it dangerously towards destabilization. Growth of income disparity will create political upheaval for years to come. Hidden unemployment and massive underemployment are ticking time bombs.

·        Arts and Culture: alive and enormously expressive. Fear and suffering will produce amazing expression of inner truths and discoveries of self.

·        Education and Research: public schools under increasing attack by privateers and elitists intent on dumbing down public education while boosting advantage from families with money. Not a good thing for access to quality education for all. Same with research; privatization builds monopolistic ownership of technology that sells to the highest bidders. Good for the privates but bad for the public.

·        Science and Application of Science: with massive doubters of science, public research expense is reduced. Corporate owners of technology parse their advances into products and services with higher price tags while lower income people are left in the dust. Think pharmaceutical prices. Think medical cures avoided so medical sales and treatments can continue to make money.

·        American Ideal; support of: we’ve become the land of the wealthy to increase the war between the Haves and the Have Nots. “Let them eat cake” is hardly an American Ideal.

·        Body Politic: a divided nation becomes a nation at war with itself. Never a good sign of things to come.

Most of the above is not good. Two years ago, it was good. Room for improvement. Fresh air in which to continue searching for better outcomes. Especially, we had the potential to grow and prosper. The base was in place to do that. But now? Where do we go from here?

Platitudes don’t cut it. Slogans don’t either. Propaganda destroys what is possible. It’s time for a reboot. And serious leadership.

February 7, 2019

NEXUS Results

Last evening was our first public discussion of issues that matter. We had 5 souls brave an ice storm to join the process. We discussed the how and why of our work. Here’s what we came up with.

·        This was an organizing session. More of this work will continue as we turn to discussing topics. We will meet monthly – First Tuesdays – and consider increased frequency as the group wishes. We expect the group to grow as people become aware of Nexus.

·        Our mission is to create a safe place in which to speak our minds civilly with others, not at them. We hope to better understand issues that matter and how to handle them. We will explore current events to expand thinking, not change minds.

·        As time goes on other groups may spring from this one, magnifying the rhythm and tempo of fruitful discussion. Where this will lead no one knows. Hopefully the outcome will be more civility and logic.

·        For now we will remain at Trinity Lutheran Church until a more public space is made available at no cost. At that time we may move the gatherings to another night of the week to increase access for others.

·        We decided to identify discussion topics by group consensus. Preparation for each topic will be examined on a case by case basis as volunteers pitch in with these tasks.

·        We will strive to be sensitive to all who gather in our midst so that we can hear what they have to say, and they can hear us as well. We hope to support diverse opinions, thoughts, creeds, ethnicities and genders that reflect our local and national communities.

Our first topic for discussion: Ageism – what it is and how it works in our society. We chose this topic to test the Nexus method of group discussion. To participate and/or witness how we do this, join us on Tuesday, March 5^th at 6:30 pm. The place: Trinity Lutheran Church, 3 S 460 Curtis Avenue, Warrenville, Illinois. We promise to adjourn by 8 pm.

NEXUS means ‘coming together, uniting and connecting.’ If this appeals to you, join us.

Until then, peace.

February 6, 2019

Discovery of Many Truths

Tonight, we attempt to bridge divides. Tonight, we will gather and talk about issues that matter to us. Tonight, we will dare to nudge our awareness forward to understand others’ thinking that differs from our own. We come together to share and learn. We form the connection – the Nexus – so we can be fully with others. Without hiding our thoughts or feelings.

But with civility and honesty. Gentle, too. Perhaps we will display the sorrow that accompanies anger and frustration? We will work to make that possible.

Nexus will become a regular program to gather people who honestly wish to share and learn opinions and beliefs of others. This is an act of faith lived to respect others; to value others. We will not agree with one another; but we will respect one another. This we do to find community within our reach.

If this appeals to you, join us. Trinity Lutheran Church, Curtis and Warrenville Roads, Warrenville, Illinois. Tuesday, February 5, 2019 at 6:30 pm. We will find other locations for future meetings. We will identify topics of interest for future focus. Together we will map out a method to discuss without rancor or blame the things that matter to each of us.

Fresh air in our daily lives is the hoped-for goal. Peace to carry us forward in a dangerous world at a dangerous time. Built on trust and faith in each other. And in safety, too.

Can this actually happen? In this day and age?

Join us to see what happens.

February 5, 2019

Look Who’s Talking?

So a governor’s graduate school year book from 34 years ago shows an egregious lack of values and judgment. Political imps find the year book and air it to embarrass a political foe. Try to get him to resign. Out of the woodwork comes a chorus of voices ordering him to resign. Even the sitting president labels the governor disgraceful, shameful. He who embodies shameful and disgraceful is saying this!

I have no opinion on the sitting governor. I do not know the facts. His statements have muddied the situation so his handling of the matter appears clumsy. I’ll leave his decision to him and his staff.

But I do have an opinion on the sitting president.

He is a clear and present danger to himself and to his nation. He has steadfastly unmoored the national protocols and government processes. They are left dangling in confusion and chaos. He has exposed our nation to the dangers of international intrigue and would be warrior kings (China and Russia). He has unrooted markets for natural minerals and raw materials. He has upset supply chains the world over. He has mired our nation in a pile of debt without end. He spends without limit and eliminates tax revenues by the trillion. And then complains about the red ink.

He has defined ‘up’ as ‘down’ and in as out. No wonder confusion reigns.

It is time to put a stop to all of this. The Constitution contains language protecting the nation from a president who is unable to govern himself or the nation. This language is not of impeachment but of safety and caution to protect the person from himself and to protect the nation from him at the same time.

It is time for the legislative and judicial branches to enact those constitutional powers.

We are in danger. The nation stands in peril. Action is needed and now.

Mitch McConnell and Nancy Pelosi are the primary leaders of this mechanism. Court supervision will be necessary. The time is now. The policy and procedure is available. Research it and implement it.

This is not about political party or ideology. It is about preserving America’s future.

February 4, 2019

What’s Believable?

I was raised in a home of facts. Dad was an engineer. Mom was a Minnesota farm girl. They were married in Minnesota, moved immediately to Chicago for a new job, then a few years later moved to California for yet another new career opportunity. Still engineering for Dad.

World War II happened. My brother was born in Chicago before being moved to Pasadena. Carol and I were born a few years later so we are native Californians.

We experienced ocean beaches, mountain vistas, car rides throughout southern California and later moved to the Mojave Desert. Dad’s engineering work called him to many places. Naturally we accompanied him.

College was a constant background in our life. Both our parents experienced higher education. Our grandparents, too, on my father’s side. Mostly Congregational ministers; for many generations. Thus fact-based discussions were the norm. disciplined speech and conclusions were highly valued.

College followed my high school graduation, and then two more stints at the graduate level. Worked for the University of Illinois, too. Education. Logic. Facts. Research. Defining problems. Seeking solutions and alternatives to those problems. Working in teams of people who wanted problems solved.

So, it is no surprise that I avidly consume public information and news developments. I also came to write news, expository articles, too, explaining why things happen. Physics and the immutable facts of the world. Logic.

Imagine my frustration reading today’s news! Very little is factual. Mostly opinion. Problems ignored. Problems defined out of existence. Focus instead on nonsense topics. All the while the actual problems continue their journey toward unknown disasters. Disasters await; we just don’t know their dimensions. Logic informs us. Logic demands our attention. But the powers in high places do not respond to these calls for action. They are deaf, dumb and blind.

That leaves who in charge?

In a society such as ours, a democracy, I think we the people are in charge. But who takes up the leader’s baton at such times? How do we escape anarchy or tyranny?

Normally, the democratic method follows vigorous debate, selection of the fittest people, and an election schedule is filled with ballots for candidates legally included in the process. The election occurs and those winning election take the reins of our government.

This did not happen correctly in 2015 and 2016. Ever since then things have gone even more awry. This is not sour grapes. This is logic, fact, and informed people making sense of what is wrong.

A lot is wrong. A lot needs attention. Many of us have researched, written and spoken of these things. still nothing is done to repair what is broken.

What has happened to the American Idea? Was it so weak, so fragile, that ignored for a little while it disappeared? What will restore it? Can it be restored?

All hard questions to ask; even more difficult to answer. But they must. Be answered.

Maybe the cold weather has gotten to me. I feel hope slipping away. Tell me this isn’t so!

February 1, 2019