Mass shootings. Gang shootings. Drive-by shootings. Family slaughter-suicides. Violence. Domestic violence. Beating kids, spouses, others. So much hurt. So much pain.
There is a lot of this reported on news channels; if not daily, surely weekly. The incidence seems more frequent. Is it? What are the statistics on this? Is violence on the rise, or is it more commonly reported than in past years? Again, what are the statistics on this? Who keeps such records?
Having spent most of my life in nonprofit circles, I understand that life is not perfect. Families have problems and some resort to violent means to settle scores. Others solve the problem through death.
But most don’t. Most families go on to mend their wounds with or without help. I think professional help is better for the family, but not all can afford such help. Again, my work with nonprofits informs me of many helpful agencies that are available to help people in trouble. Shelters for abused women and their kids are available. Almost all of them are private, charitable agencies. Counseling and transitional housing is made possible. Emergency funds, too, are made available to separate victims from a violent family member.
Unhappy families. Addictions. Failed marriages. Disastrous parenting. All are part of the social mix faced daily by afflicted families. Probably more of these than statistics can accurately report. What causes all of this suffering? What root causes do we know create this maelstrom of miscarried relationships?
Social scientists certainly have studied these matters, but the continual emergence of societal lifestyles and trends keeps research in the rear-view mirror. Has two parents working to support the household created this mess? Has household income from two salaries created a surfeit of goodies that have desensitized our ability to manage relationships? Does dual incomes reduce child-rearing attention which further separates parents from children, or children from parents?
I’m not in the know on this issue. I just see over and over again the anomie of teenagers who lose themselves in drugs, alcohol and the resulting downward spiral of self-control. It is a familiar tale. Bright kids without roots or self-esteem. Seeking another avenue of feeling good about life. And themselves. Is anyone listening at home? Who is paying attention?
The same is true of alcoholism in the lives of so many families. What leads to this loss of control? Why the temptation?
No one knows for certain. It just is. And the only way out is self honesty and hard work buoyed by helping people and groups. First, the victim – the alcoholic – must see himself clearly and accept the problem, enough so to do something about it. Until that happens, he continues his road weary travail. Self-control. Honesty. Humility. Admission of weakness and flaws. Moving on toward stability, control and clear headedness.
Same for teenagers on drugs. Or booze. They must be challenged by the possible and the pull of the future. They may need help with this. Caring from others. Whatever works, once they see a future with possibility, they exit the dark.
All of the above tells me we have a mental health problem in our nation. We have allowed budget cutting to push too many people toward prescription drugs that provide short term relief from addiction and mental health change. The drugs don’t serve the long-term, however. Decades of social experimentation with mental health solutions via the pharmacy have gutted our ability to house and heal those who need close supervision and counseling to mend their problems.
Guns don’t kill; people do. But people with problems get guns and use them to kill. Or drugs and addiction to cover the pain. Or booze to do the same.
It comes down to mental illness in my book. Isn’t it time we admitted that and sought better, longer lasting remedies?
May 6, 2019
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