On Being Gay

It doesn’t seem possible that the Stonewall Riots of 1969 were 50 years ago. I remember seeing the news reports. It interested me. I wondered if riots would spread to other parts of the country. It didn’t seem possible then but Stonewall sparked a national current that grew and grew.


I had wondered about homosexuality. I had barely dabbled in it myself. I rejected temptation and chose to pursue a hetero life. At the time of Stonewall I was married, completed one year of seminary, and moved back into a business career. 1969 witnessed landing an American on the Moon. We were exploring living in Chicago on Lake Shore Drive. We explored the city and its cultural offerings but saved our cash for a down payment on a house. We cooked on a portable hibachi grill on the lakefront. We biked along the lakefront. We felt the pulse of the big city and liked it very much.


When we were expecting our first child, Ann strongly wanted to find a house in the suburbs; it was what she knew from her childhood. She wanted the same for our kids. So, we explored suburbs and finally found a house in Wheaton, 30 miles west of Chicago. That was 1971 and we moved in fall after spending the summer months cleaning and fixing up the old house on Forest Avenue.


Looking back, so much happened in the years 1968 to 1971. Seminary, wedding, career change, city living on the lake shore, pregnancy, buying a house, moving to the suburbs, birth of first baby, and then a change in career at the University of Illinois at Chicago. Busy times. Huge personal and family currents of life. Encapsulated lifestyle that carried me forward for many years.


All things gay were not much in my mind in those days. That evolution came slowly but insistently. How many people like me were gay living in an entirely straight life?  I wondered about that, but in those days, you didn’t speak of it. It was the ‘temptation’ we prayed to be delivered from. It was the unusual, the depraved, the unspoken sin. It simply was not a part of American conversation.


Observing the social landscape of 2019, I am pleasantly surprised that being gay is not the horror of old thinking. Acceptance is not adoption, but an opening to thinking, feeling and realizing that gay is a way of being human naturally. No one in their right mind would choose such a thing for themselves. Years later I was more certain of my sexual orientation. It didn’t happen overnight. It didn’t occur without serious thought and self-probing. And choosing to do something about it at long last, was painful.


None of us live in isolation. Our lives intersect other lives. My wife, kids, parents, siblings and so many more outside the family were involved. Divorce, sole parent of the household (although the college years by then!), found me unprepared for handling all the responsibility. But I did. And discovered unknown dimensions of myself in the process.


I had a second ‘childhood.’ I had a fresh adolescence. I discovered fun. I found frivolity. I championed it for a while. Then I settled down, created my own business, set out on yet another career path, and learned to be a better, more attendant father. I wondered at all the damage this had done my wife. I hurt for that. The unknown consequences of our personal lives. They are many and profound. And not retractable.


I found a life partner to share this new existence. Rocky has been a stalwart, calming influence for me. We crafted a household rich in aesthetics and thought. We did not take things for granted. We were mature in years and much more knowledgeable than the 20-somethings of the Stonewall era. Yet that ripple in history held meaning for me to be realized so many years later.


Life is strange in its complexity. We are complex in strangeness. With that and other hiccups, we plod this earth and make our way, learning each step of the way.


And I’m not complaining in the least little bit. It is rich with life and purpose. And Use.


We honor that this Pride Weekend 2019.


June 28, 2019

Natural Remedies

Health is relative. To context, family, home, community, chronological age, and a whole lot more. Homing in on what is natural and simple is helpful. Seeking advice is encouraged. Especially if it is helping to make decisions on treatment options.

For example, should we focus on health and maintaining it? Or should we wait for a problem to develop (symptom, illness, etc.) before seeking help or treatment?  Much discussion on just this issue alone could keep us busy for months. Basically, do we intend to live healthy lives from the beginning? Are we committed to do the work this entails?


Living healthy lifestyles means eating a balanced, nutritious diet, getting plenty of exercise, fresh air and rest. Sleeping well is accommodated and accomplished nightly; it should be a goal. Understanding normal threats to the autoimmune system is one thing, then doing something about it another.


The entire issue of understanding and self education of healthy lifestyles is a critical issue. Most of us do not understand these matters at all.


Out of convenience we visit a doctor to help us understand our situation, and then receive a method of treatment to ward off disease, or address existing disease.


That step alone is a threat to healthy living for millions of people. They are the believers in holistic medicine and natural healing. They point to our elder generations – even those who have already passed away – and ask at what age they died, and what lifestyle they demonstrated?  Did they eat just about everything at any time?  Did they become overweight? Did they suffer significant illness prior to death?


Most of us will recount tales of grandparents and great grandparents who lived to their late 80’s or mid 90’s with little ill health. They ate plenty of fat, butter, and ice cream, but they were exposed to plenty of fresh air, freshly grown vegetables and fruit. Their activity levels were high – farming, walking, horseback riding, heavy factory work, house work without modern day conveniences. That sort of life style burned up the extra calories and cleared the body of fat deposits before they could form.


The results were long life and little critical, long-lasting illnesses.


Today we live sedentary lives, eat a diet rich in chemicals designed to prolong shelf life of our food products. We eat polysaturated fats, too. The chemical complex of food additives to our daily diet is totally foreign to what our elder generations experienced. They lived longer lives. We don’t necessarily follow in their footsteps.


So, the point of today’s blog is just this: The human body has natural defenses against disease and toxic shock. Our modern social environment is rife with toxicity that challenges our autoimmune system, reduces vitamin intakes from natural food sources, limits our activity level, cuts down on natural sources of iodine, and assaults the body with chemicals from every direction. No wonder our bodies are sick and dependent on chemical treatments through the pharmacy.


How much of all this natural health is understood by the medical community? How much attention is spent on healthy lifestyles and prevention of ill health and disease? How much research is done on non pharmaceutical treatments and autoimmune systems?


Before spending another trillion dollars on ‘modern healthcare,’ perhaps we ought to look into simplifying our approach to living and relying on what is natural. Researching just this aspect may save mankind a boatload of resources AND lead to longer, healthier lives.


Just saying…  And wondering...


June 27, 2019

Call to Leadership

I’m proud to learn so many talented people wish to be considered presidential timber in the 2020 election. Democrats have come out of the woodwork to offer their time and vision.  All of this is good. Very good.


But there is a problem, isn’t there?  So many people running for the office. How do we choose among such a large field?  Look at what happened to the republicans last time. So many candidates. One was inferior to the core. Yet he won the nomination and the election. We are all paying for this currently.

So, what can we learn from this?  


I think the Democrat candidates should meet, consider their options as a group – As A Group – and then determine how to proceed for the good of the nation. Who is best prepared to be president among them? Who has clear vision for the future, a vision that will embrace the entire nation and carry us forward? How can they help each other make this difficult decision?


I’m envisioning a team of leaders willingly giving up their own dreams for the good of the pack. A pack that will emerge as a vibrant team focused and energized to accomplish great things. Among them are these:

1.      List the top ten problems in need of a solution

2.      Prioritize these problems to determine which ones get early attention for solving

3.      Identify how the top ten problems interact with one another so work done on one problem can also serve as part of the solution for other problems

4.      Who should be the top 5 team members for leading portions of the government forward so the 10 problems have the best chance to be solved?

5.      What roles will those 5 team members play on the team?

6.      Might they become key cabinet members for the presidential candidate that is selected by this team to lead the effort?  Will this team approach win the election?

Our country is in trouble. Divisive policies, campaigning and propaganda have atomized our trust and focus as an electorate.  We cannot go forward with ‘anyone but trump.’ That is just too negative. No, we need to winnow out the pack, so the best people are in focus. Then bring that into clearer focus on what needs to get done as a nation, and who will be the best leaders to accomplish this.

American politics tends to be one sole leader at a time rather than a team effort. It is time we changed this. Let the candidates fight it out so we have the best team stepping forward. Please!

The other side of the spectrum is already set to run trump. He is a failed person and president. The history he is making is dismal and shameful. You know that is true. So let’s get it together and answer the debacle with a shining tower of possibility so America will regain her stature we once held high.

There is no time to lose. There is no effort to waste. Let’s focus on what needs to be done, and then do it!

June 26, 2019

Witness

You see something that has impact on something else; or someone. You think about it. The meaning of what you witnessed sinks in. Should someone else know about this? Is your witness needed to explain an event for another to process?


Most of life’s happenings are important only to us. Those happenings build toward broader meaning. Later the message and meaning is clear to our own mind. The meaning amasses and gives us understanding of our world, surroundings, other people, skills, talents and life itself.


It is this broader meaning of witness I refer to here.


Something happened in my life a long time ago. It stunned me. Grabbed my attention. The context is important, too. This was in 1968. Spring. Years of Civil Rights reading, feeling, witnessing and growing horror at the injustice. Then one day the world was turned upside down. The Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated. Out of the blue. The words of a leader who found the chord of feeling and understanding. A man who preached peace, mutual understanding and justice. Gunned down. In America.


I was not the only one upset at this crime. Millions were shocked, saddened and grief stricken. Some burned stores and office buildings. Others set fire to cars parked on the street. Entire neighborhoods went up in flames. Thousands of families were left homeless. Many people were beaten, maimed and killed in the aftermath.


Others held impromptu memorial services for Dr. King, the Civil Rights Movement, and social justice.


Much of those memorial services focused on the illness of racism in our midst, in our land. In America.


I couldn’t just do that. I couldn’t just help stricken innocent people in the ghettos. I had to do something else. The only thing I knew what to do was enter seminary and use the church for healing a sick nation.


I did enter the seminary. I was pulled toward the parish ministry, but that is not what I wanted to do. I wanted to be where people earned their living and interacted with the business world, fellow workers, customers, suppliers, and all the rest. I needed to be in the thick of things and lend my mind, spirit and effort toward mutual understanding and wellness of spirit.


I didn’t get far with constructing that special, experimental ministry. I left seminary after one year. But I did return to the world of work and found purpose in human resources, corporate life and community intersections of positive social justice. Later, that job led to many years working for a university. There I found more purpose, more opportunity to make a difference. And we did make a difference. In countless lives of students as they struggled to define themselves and their world. A mantle of diversity, understanding and justice was imparted.


Still later I found work in nonprofits where mountains of good outcomes were made and built upon for millions.


Witness is not just seeing. It is learning from the action and spreading the meaning forward to many others. Your witness is uniquely yours. Mine belongs to me alone. Together we make great things happen.


Now that’s what witness means to me. It is not all church. It is not only theology. But it is living life as humans, engaging that life, making a difference in the lives of others. Building a witness one memory at a time. Letting it light up another life so he/she has a witness experience. And all pay it forward. Unknown but very real. Things happening for a purpose. A use.


All coming from people believing in others and the importance of doing. Living life responsibly and purposefully.


What a gift that is. Witness is a gift that keeps on giving.


June 25, 2019

Ever Forward

Life as metaphor. Metaphor as life. Experience noted. Understanding experience worked on.


So, it goes for each of us. We don’t know what meaning attaches to every happening in our lives. They are just there. We may see them, certainly feel them, and then we ponder them. What do they mean? Why should we take note?


It is a process. Never done. Always squirming through our consciousness, or not. At odd times it surprises us, demands attention if we hadn’t before.


Some events jar current thinking. Illness, threat of death, injury with pain, all that sort of thing comes readily to mind. Other events do the same with less personal focus. Like war, threat of war, calamitous weather brewing near.


That’s when we take note and wonder. In case of weather threat, we wonder how we can insulate ourselves and our homes from damage in the future. Ought we care so much about these things? Should we focus less on things and more on people and relations with them?


After every hurricane or tornado (and fire, flood, etc.) survivors are interviewed picking through the remains of their homes and possessions. Universally they exclaim: “At least we have each other; all else can be replaced or wasn’t all that important anyway.”


How true that is.


Now, the threat of war with Iran is a sobering thought. We have military actions going in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Syria. We are aware and alert and active in Africa, several points in fact. We are alert and posturing in the South China Sea. We have military installations the world over. We have commitments in many places. Yet we think we should skirmish with Iran?  


Ought we think of wrapping things up in some places before starting yet another entanglement? Think on that for many moments. Why have we allowed the current military engagements last so long? Why not take appropriate action to settle the matters, then move on with other grave circumstances. That tactic would keep us more able to handle threats like Iran with more confidence and surer strategy.


Of course, the primary objective is not to engage in these affairs at all. Diplomatic efforts and relationship building should be going forward to build peace and collaboration among nations, not division and war. Not all peace is won through war. Not all military actions are necessary. They are best avoided with understanding one another and building attractive alternatives that make cooperation fruitful for both parties.


Over the last 20 years our Foreign Service has been decimated. Of course, we develop new people for these roles, but funding has been cut, morale was severely challenged after 9/11 and with the bent on war with the Taliban and Saddam Hussein. Those skirmishes saw over 500 experienced diplomats resign or retire early. Same is happening under the odd international relations program of the current president.


Our allies are flummoxed by our change in attitudes expressed by the White House. So are most of us who have lived here all our lives. Our flummoxes are more emotional for us than our allies!


Going forward requires a vision of a peaceful world. The forward is collaborative. It is not dictated by any one nation. It must be a group discussion, examination of possibilities, and joint resourcing for maximum outcomes. That’s what builds peace. Churchill knew this. So did DeGaulle. And FDR, Eisenhower, and so many more outstanding leaders.


Ever forward in such a manner is not in the vocabulary of the current occupant of the White House.

More’s the pity for that. War should not be inevitable. But perhaps in today’s setting, it is?


June 24, 2019

Some Results

I don't usually do this, writing a blog post live. I normally draft a post in advance by a day or two. Then edit it live and publish it. Not today.

Some of you have been following this blog frequently. Some not. But this is for my regular followers.

We spent Wednesday in clinicals for diagnosing and consulting Rocky's throat cancer. It was a long day, but one of hope and promise. Here are more details.

We listened closely to learn results of earlier tests. We didn't get that information. But then we were not talking directly to our surgeon who ordered the tests. Instead, we spoke with other attending physicians who told us of their intended procedures, protocols and what the likely results will be. We underwent more tests, imaging and such. We talked with speech therapists and pre-op medical techs.

We listened to what was not being said. We watched facial expressions. Body language, too.

We learned that all systems are go for surgery. The date will likely be in the second week of July. We met the people who will do follow up with Rocky in teaching him how to speak with electronic gadgets, and maybe graduate to an easier, more natural form much later. But that will require more surgery.

We also learned teaching support will help Rocky learn to breathe through a neck tube (stoma) and how to keep it clean and healthy. Rocky will be taught how to eat differently once the surgery is healed. In the meantime he will be fed through a temporary feeding tube directly into the stomach. We learned that smell will be mostly absent, and that taste will subsequently be diminished. He will learn how to keep sinuses clear and healthy, too, now that breathing through the nose is not possible.

Tests taken that day have produced results: iron deficiency is enough to require infusions prior to surgery; two infusions, and they have both been arranged at our local hospital; another imaging session showed partially blocked carotid artery which will need attention later, but not before surgery.

All in all, we learned the medical team is confident of going ahead. And that gives us confidence. And hope.

We are feeling good right now and appreciate all the care, thoughts and prayers from all of you.  We are grateful and humbled.

Thank you!

June 21, 2019

Waiting for Results

So, you took the exam. A corker! You crammed for hours before the big test. Before that you went over your notes, even typed them from the hand scribbled notebooks. The mind refreshed the material learned over the term. You summarized it all as well. Finally you had one page encapsulating the class material succinctly. You were prepared.


Taking the exam was tense at first; then relaxed as a rhythm developed. Questions were quickly sorted, and answers formed. Then essay questions tackled. After an hour, the test was over. You glanced over the test booklet. You were satisfied. Rising from the seat, you walked forward, handed in your booklet and left the room.


Now for the hard part. First some deep breaths, stretching stiff legs and arms, of course the back, and a slow walk back toward the dorm. But first, a cup of coffee. Others had gathered as well, and soon chatter was all about the tests each had taken that morning. Camaraderie exploded. Then laughter.


Later in the day the wondering began. Did I do well? Will I get an A or B on this test? Will it affect my final grade in the class? Days followed until our next class meeting. Only then would we learn what the results were. And what they meant.


Each of us has had an experience like this, or similar. Perhaps there was no dorm. Maybe this was high school. Or college, grad school, or a qualifying exam for a new job? Whatever, we’ve taken tests, submitted our work, and had to wait for the results.


So too, Rocky and I. Wednesday was a full day at the downtown hospital in Chicago. Five appointments, consults and prep work done for pending surgery. What they will do, when they will do it, and what the likely results will be. So much pending. So much hanging in doubt. We’ve done our work. Now theirs.


We wait. Did we pass? Will the surgery go forward? Are the prospects better than thought before? What will the future hold for us?


Like any test, waiting is involved. So too our trust. And patience.


And hope.


June 20, 2019

A Song In Our Heart

There was a movie with a sound track song named I have a Song in My Heart. I don’t remember much about the movie. There was a farm, maybe a horse, illness in the home, a love story, a girl, I think.  I don’t think it was Black Beauty, but it could have been. Maybe the movie was ‘A Song in My Heart?’


Well, anyway, the song was beautiful. I was probably 8 or 9 years old. When the song came on the screen, I melted. The lyrics were enough to create a giant sob, but the melody was wonderful, soaring, lingering. It melded with the lyrics magically. At least for me back in those days. Maybe 1950?


Note: with Google, I learned this song is With A Song in My Heart. I had the first word wrong. A film with the same name came out in 1952. I would have been 9. We three kids saw it with Mom in a theater in Pasadena. I doubt there was a farm in the story line. But it was a love story; Mom loved the mushies!


With all of that said, my point is simply that Rocky and I have a song in our hearts.


Times right now are difficult. Rocky faces a cancer threat that will either change his life or end it. We do not know which at this moment. We should know more certainty by the end of the week. Then we will deal with whatever will be.


Meanwhile, the worry, moods of doom, and unknown, weigh heavy. Throughout this ordeal – so far only 16 days into it – we have been surrounded by love, care, generosity of spirit and finances that take our breath away. We know we are not alone. And we know we are loved.


Wow. Super Wow!


So, with those feelings bubbling up through the gloom, a song forms in my mind and it turns out to be…Ta Da! – With a Song in My Heart!


Now you know what a mushie I am. A sucker for a good melody, a heart wrenching lyric, and the emotions to go with it.


Thank you all for standing with us. With your help, we will get through this.


Know that your love is returned. And how!


June 19, 2019

Perspective

Time. Experience. Happenings. Mingling with strangers. Watching strangers. Traveling streets and neighborhoods once familiar, but now distant by decades.


I had moments – hours really! – last week that encompassed all of the above.  Monday we visited Chicago Northwestern Hospital to meet with Rocky’s surgeon. Sister in law Sharon paid for limo service; the trip into the city, the driver waiting for our consult to happen, then the ride home. Riding and not worrying about traffic or driving, I observed the world of morning rush hour as a passenger. Been a long time since that has happened. I commuted by train and car for more than 20 years. Saw many of my old work neighborhoods.


One was a reminder of my first days in the Loop as a fresh, 22 year-old fresh college grad. Finding my way in the Loop as a complete stranger. Jostling along the sidewalk with hundreds of others on the way to the office. Wondering about lunch time and where I would be. Wondering about the commute home, too. Absorbed with how I would become familiar with all this strangeness - of scale, of new, of thousands of strangers everywhere I glanced.


I watch others who were near my age back then. I sensed their newness to this experience, their wonder.


Later as we exited the limo and found our way around the large complex of buildings – people everywhere – the encounters with this new reality reminded me of how we are introduced to the new experiences of life. Startling, scary, foreboding. Yet exciting.


Still later, the ride home offered yet more vistas of the past; and perspective. The mind did not nap. Thoughts coursed through memories old and new. Until we arrived in our current world of familiar rhythms and shapes.  


On Friday, we repeated the experience. This time neighbor Pam generously arranged and paid for the limo service. The route was different than Monday’s; still more vistas of old familiar places. City vignettes. Pop-up views of yesteryear. But oh, so different. Now there are buildings where blank spaces once were. New apartment complexes with daring architecture and memorable angles of expanses of glass. New life and rhythms in this arena once solely the province of work spaces; dead space on weekends and evenings; now lively with 24/7 living of people.


People everywhere. Walking, driving, scurrying, going places with strident intent; some lolling gently in place enjoying a breeze, a cup of coffee, an idle chat with a stranger.


And still another route home with fresh views of times long ago. Fifty-four years ago my young self was planted in this place. So much has happened in those years. What was then fresh is now new again – familiar yet strange – and perspective provides meaning and weight.


Each person has a story. Like mine, the story is ever-unfolding. It has an indistinct start and no end. These stories are always unfinished. Works in progress. We don’t know them, so don’t know their story. They don’t know us, either. And yet we co-exist. It is a willing by-play of our stories. Mingled, yet not.


A writer senses the story without knowing it. Yet more perspective beckons us.


Old. New. Memory. Fresh story. Life.


June 18, 2019

Divisions

You are a decent person. I think of myself as decent. Together you and I, we, are decent. We agree on that. Those who are not us most likely are decent. Talk with a group of strangers, and learn how quickly we laugh together. At the common things that seem odd, but routine. Even a word said over and over again sounds odd, doesn’t it? The foreignness of common things rises to our consciousness at times unexpected. It is one of the oddities of life; and funny at the same time.


Quirks make things interesting. Not threatening, interesting.


What is threatening to me, or you, or us, comes from another place in our being. Somewhere delicate and vulnerable. Why is not readily apparent, but vulnerability is awakened.  


What are some of those things, topics? Well, for many – including myself – is the fear of losing a freedom. Perhaps it is my sense of order and governance?  I prefer freedom to regulations and rules. I like to think things through to be more certain I understand a point. Then I like to discuss it with others. Slowly I gather accompanying thoughts on the topic and stand ready to learn more, or protect the view I’ve crafted so far.


If someone comes along and pokes fun at my thought, I defend my conclusions. Not sure if I’ve completed my thinking on the subject, but I want to naturally proceed in morphing my thinking in a way that maintains a continuity of logic. Later, I may switch utterly to another stance, but only when ready to do so. I don’t need someone bullying me to change my view just because they think I should.

Argument and debate are like that. They are adversarial. I am comfortable with mutual exploration of topics, of thinking, of weighing pertinent matters on the subject. I avoid adversarial and favor collaboration.


And I favor order. My mind needs time and space to work through a list of topics. There are many items to be considered. Like – charter schools, abortion, gay rights, women’s rights, nurture of immigrants, educational theory and nurturing students to explore their own worlds – things like that. I don’t want people to hi-jack the discussion topics and push my order around theirs. This isn’t about my adopting their ideas but me understanding my ideas. Then we see where we agree or differ. Assessing how and why those views differ is yet another task to undertake.


The process is important. Abridging the process is viewed as a threat from external sources. I don’t accept that pressure. I need time and order to think through my options.


Finding difference is easy. We all have them. We are not 100% in agreement most of the time. We are in general agreement with minor differences present. We accommodate the differences; we are not controlled by them.


Those who magnify differences are seeking something. Power? Influence? Standing?


So easy to do these days. Abortion. Gun controls. Education. Qualifications. Credentials. Religion. Lack of religion. Big government, or small. Pollution. Technology. Republican. Democrat. Conservative. Liberal. Centrist.


See what I mean?


Rather than threaten others, let’s delight in the myriad choices and differences. Allow it to be the food for our brains to exercise their thinking and logic. Exercise is good for the brain. It needs the stretching and bending to keep in shape. Judge not but consider widely. Allow others to think their own way. You have your way. Don’t let them take your way away.


Like new citizens among us – whether born here or immigrant – differences strengthen each of us. Let that happen naturally.


Vive le difference!


June 17, 2019

Blue Sky

Clouds hung low and dark. Wind swept the trees and bushes. Temperatures hovered in the 60’s then the 50’s. The forecast was for full sun, no clouds and pleasant temperatures. That was how the world appeared as we went toward medical analysis and counsel Monday morning.


When we emerged from the bowels of the medical building, the sun greeted us. So too, the blue, blue sky. Wind was gusty but embracing. Temps were 70-ish and most pleasant. The world welcomed us for the long ride home. Brilliant sunlight. Deep blue sky. Low humidity kept the universe stunningly crisp in appearance.


Our hearts heavy with fear and worry of the future. It will be painful. It will be uncomfortable. The surgery will happen. The medicines will do their job. The body will recover as it will from the intrusion of man-made attempts to fix what is broken.


But the weather is our companion in this. It is sparkling and clear. The sky is very blue. The sun is warm and invigorating. It is helpmate to what we cannot control.


Not all are helped. Some are immune to the tickles of climate. The rest of us are mightily blessed. Our burdens are lightened. Life goes on. Relationships are adjusted as needed. Daily routines change, too. But life goes on. Inexorably. Until it doesn’t. That is for another day when we are better prepared. All of us.


Blue sky. Big sky. Scintillating. Breathless. The future lies ahead. Existence awaits our explorations. Even those who know the limits, the future awaits a very personal exploration and discovery. The journey is personal. For each of us. Alone or with a helper, the journey remains one’s own. Custom and private.


But the sky is there for each of us on our journey. It does not discriminate. It helps us know, feel and live. In whatever realm will be.


June 14, 2019

  

Freedoms

We take freedom for granted. I admit this. I think most of us do. That’s why I used ‘we’ at the beginning of this blog. We. You and I. All of us, in one fashion or another. Together in some similarity or the mosh pit of differentness. We.


Freedom. The license to personally express  myself or move wherever I please in the moment. I stride down the walkway. I skip along in rhythms unheard by others. I jump or leap at will. Freedom to move. Whither and thither is my choice. No other tells me to or not. I do as I please.


Uttering the words of my truth – or writing them – is my freedom. Oh, I have responsibility to do this in truth and fact. I shouldn’t harm another person or misrepresent them for whatever reason. I oughtn’t do that. There are repercussions for such behavior; that’s fair play. Surely I wouldn’t want another to do that with regard to me. Fairness, equal and just among all of us. There’s the we again. A reminder that I am not alone on the planet. I share space and resources with others. The we.

Fairness is caused to be because of the we. We each have freedom to live life as we see fit. No other person or group or government has sway over that freedom. That is what it means to be American. Other nations, too, but I don’t know their innerworkings like I do America’s.


So, freedom is a big deal here. We get to say what matters to us. As long as it does not have negative impact on others, we can say, move and be in this world as we deem it.


There are those among us who don’t trust others. They trust themselves, just not others. So the we in their lives is fraught with doubt and maybe terror. It is as if others might or will do something that would harm them. I guess, they fundamentally do not understand freedom and its natural limits. But then, they are in the world and we – the rest of us – have to learn to live with them.


The them, are those who feel the need to place controls over others so they are not harmed by the others. They are afraid of consequences beyond their control. Their response to this is to legislate restrictions. They set the standard of belief, value and behavior that everyone must live by.


This is how we get laws against abortion, homicide, theft, assault, and sexual perversion. This is how we get bans against gays and lesbians – or not bans, but no protections for? – as well as restrictions on speed, house color, opinion, literature, art styles and expressions. So many things threaten others. So many things to control to make one portion of society comfortable in their ocean of worry and dread.


These folks tend to gather with others to believe in religions, rites, and authorities. They expand this to government forms, policies, protocols and instrumentalities. They build societal mechanisms that protect them against the others. And they watch. Watch for behavior outside of norms. Wonder if that is breaking the law. Hope to find a remedy to push the offense away from them and remain safe.


This edging of belief and fear to buffer themselves from others that do not look, feel or think like them, affects social workings. Laws are made. Elections are held. Authorities are given power to use against those they fear. The progress of this is slow but surely circles around and envelopes bystanders who feel included and empowered. Soon the…the books are burned, the different ones are lynched, the crosses burned on lawns, the hooded marauders sack towns and homes of whomever they don’t trust.


Anarchy tempts us. Your freedom takes away from my freedom. Your trust is not my trust. My faith is not your faith.


Anarchy is the opposite of freedom. Freedom is the opposite of life.


Really?


No. Alternatives exist for this. We just must think of them. Find them. We. We must find them. To keep freedom alive and anarchy at bay. The anarchy of the fearful. Those that fear…us.


I don’t fear us. I fear the them that would silence us.


June 13, 2019

A Story to Tell

A tale with a beginning, a middle and an ending. A cliffhanger at times, yet a happy ending. Just what everyone one wants:  a little story, digestible with a moral to share, struggle then triumph over evil. Yes. It’s a quintessential saga of America. The good, bad, ugly and beautiful, all rolled into one but with a good ending.


Sleep follows a good ending. Moral outrage is tweaked. Personal valor and effort triumphs over evil and the good guys – and girls – live happily ever after.


A fairy tale this is. History is filled with such narrations. Except when it isn’t.


It is the ‘isn’t’ that we focus on today. The history of the larger tale that embraces all the others. The really big beginning of a story, the really, really long middle – with many of its own starts and finishes – all leading toward the climax where the big ugly is finally figured out and solutions are thought up to thwart the enemy. Then the victory tale begins in bits and pieces, like Tolkien’s Trilogy of the Ring, so many campaigns fighting the bad guys until finally, finally, in an all-out battle, right wins over wrong.


World War II was like that. At least the history of World War II was told to us in that manner. Besides, we saw it played out in daily newspapers. It was a nail biter from beginning to end. The nation sacrificed much to support the best ending possible. In the end the war was won, good triumphed over evil, and the boy gets the girl, dancing in the street and tickertape parades followed. Much celebration the world over, except the victims, the losers, and the oppressed who are always defined by the story, too.


We all like a good story. Millions, and billions of books attest to that. So, too, movies. And TV shows that imitate movies. Stories. Lots of stories. Good triumphs over evil. The usual.


Until the story line is confused from the get-go. It begins with truth fighting untruth or lies. With time the trouble builds as the untruth becomes more credible and the audience simply can’t tell the difference between the right and wrong. The very sinew of the story is a twisted mess. We, the audience, know we are good. We are on the right side. But we know the enemy as family and friends and colleagues. We know those folks think they are right. We know otherwise. Or feel we know. But do we?


There it is – the plot line and the temper of the story all in one. The suspense builds as we learn more each day who is the good guy and who the bad. What is fact and what is lie. What is narration and what is propaganda. What is real and what is fake. All the while the actors on stage are shouting “fake” and “fact” until we don’t know which is the real one.


Today America is embedded in such a tale. A nation of educated people – those who attended public and private schools and earned degrees attesting to their achievement. Many of those went on to study more earning higher degrees of education. Some went farther than that and emerged as professionally trained doctors, engineers, theologians, researchers, scientists, mathematicians, et. al. They invented new technology and stretched science and medicine to amazing frontiers. They placed men on the moon and now build spaceships that travel to faraway places millions and millions of miles from home. They accomplished much with their learning, their accomplishments.


Until today when all of that is held apparently in disrepute. The educated are now the enemy. Those without the learning fear those who have the degrees. This is the new have and have not of our society. It is no longer a tale of money and who has the most, who the least.


The good and evil are intermixed to the degree we no longer know who the good guy is. The very means of our answers to the riddles are doubted so much they are no longer useful tools.


Then what is? What is the core of this new story that must play out so good and evil are once again clearly identified? If victory is the final end, what is it to look like?


Do we at least know that? I’m thinking not. Please, God, prove me wrong.


June 12, 2019

Personal Update

Yesterday Rocky and I visited his surgeon in downtown Chicago. It was a discussion of options to consider treating the tumor in his neck. Removal is fraught with tissue involve with the windpipe and esophagus. If both of those require partial removal, then temporary feeding and breathing tubes will need to be installed. Chemo and radiation therapy will most likely continue after surgery as a precaution. Prior to surgery will be used only if the tumor is believed to be shrinkable. Everyone doubts that. Only surgery will allow the doctor to know with more certainty what is what in this dark corner of the body.

Update: the tumor does involve the windpipe and that will be removed and a breathing port installed in the trachea for permanent breathing. The voice box is also involved and will be removed; electronic voice training and therapy will follow. The esophagus will need a skin graft and reconstruction but will remain in place to continuing its function. The surgeon reminded us that surgery is always exploratory; it will unveil what it will and decisions of the moment will be made then.


Faith is what we rely on at times such as these. A diagnosis and uncertain prognosis need to be digested emotionally. Easy to say, nearly impossible to actually do. And that’s the real problem, isn’t it? Our faith says, trust that all will be well, but our humanness says, ‘yeah, right!’


Trust is not giving up. Trust is not the lazy person’s way out. Trust means everything that can be done is being done, and if all is lost in the end, then that will be in the hands of our creator. If you don’t believe, you don’t even have that.


In the end, though, we have choices. The beginning and the end are the bookends of life. It is the in-between years that define what our life is and was. What we do with the time we have is the marker we need to pay heed to. Why? Because the beginning and the end is out of our control. We don’t make those decisions. The only ones we do make affect our life that is lived each day.


Understanding this helps prepare for the moment we no longer have moments. The death of our being is sobering work to think upon. But it is an inevitable event. Best to think on it when things are good, pleasant doings are still possible. If we are prepared, then each reprieve gives us more time to live a life of purpose and joy. Each reprieve from serious accident, illness, or peril avoided. That’s what we control, not the end, but the continuing.


Rocky’s journey is perilous. But he has lived with reprieve several times before. Perhaps this one, too?


Time will tell that story. We are not in a rush to encounter it.


June 11, 2019

Shouldering the Load

World War 1 was a disaster. How it began, how it was waged, and how it was terminated. The peace was not one that produced lasting peace. It sowed the seeds of World War II.


World War II finally gave witness to the global community waking to stark reality. Isolationism does not build peace. It gives license to those who benefit from war and aggression. The global community came together for common cause. We learned each other’s languages and worked together to defeat a common enemy, then two. Through awful struggle we became one.


A united global village. Millions of lives lost. A horrible price. But one paid for a world at peace.


We knew then that it was temporary. Peace lasts only so long until someone feels omnipotent or horribly wronged. Whatever the motivation, they bully their mood to others and war begins. War as arbiter of failed egos. War as tactic for riches. War as growth of territory.


So much war. So little peace. So much damage, carnage and human misery.


D-Day was a spectacular reality as symbol of the horrors of war. D-Day was waged to gain victory over Hitler. As the world community came together last week to recognize, remember and give thanks to those who perished for our peace, the gathering was truly odd.


Odd. A man who claims the American presidency but shirked war time duty. A man who thinks not of world strategy or world peace. A man who does not understand the word ‘comity.’ This is a man who embodies the bully and the disruptor of status quo. He believes that builds future potential.


Of what? The question begs asking. The answer begs completion. But none is forthcoming.


The emperor stands naked before the world with no plan, no strategy, no mission and no vision. For himself or for his people. This is the very definition of non-leader.


It is also the definition of ‘clear and present danger.’ He mocks treaties, peaceful cooperation, and global village collaboration. To him there must always be a winner. For me as well. But I see the winners as each and every one of us living in a world of peace. It will not come unless we work for it.

And pay the price. The opposite produces no winners; only losers.


And he the biggest of them all.


June 10, 2019

Modern Manufacturing Complexities

The Boeing Max 737 has problems. We know of the issues and causes surrounding the two crashes of this plane model. We are learning there are more issues that need ironing out. The more the plane is studied and tested – as it ought to have been before placing in commercial use – the more we realize systemic issues likely have led us to this place.


The Boeing product was engineered in a new, exciting multi-disciplinary manner. It resourced parts, manufacturing and even materials engineering. It was a global enterprise for Boeing. They designed the new plane from the ground up and did so making full use of expertise and cost-saving techniques from throughout the global village.


Assembling the new plane was a science unto itself. Supply chain management was stretched and re-invented. Parts and materials were pulled from countless nations and assembled in micro parts assembly, unitary systems assembly, and finally into the final assembly in American facilities. The coming together of millions of parts and pieces tested computer systems and management science. But the plan came together, flew, was tested and finally approved for commercial use.


What was not accomplished is an exhaustive trial of the new plane and how all of its foreign manufactured parts came together in one product and performed. How did the new materials, the variant designs and supply chain work in the production of the new plane?


Experience will tell the tale. So far it is not pretty. Even fearful.


For a product that carries hundreds of passengers thousands of miles in rarefied altitudes, we must be certain the product is safe. Until now Boeing’s reputation has been spotless. It’s product worthiness was beyond question. Not now.


The new plane is a marvel. It is pretty good. It performs almost as planned. But pretty good is not good enough. Too many lives are at stake. Too bad Boeing has bet its future on a manufacturing process that simply was flawed. And untested.


How Boeing will or can fix this problem remains grounded. Like its new planes.


June 7, 2019

Investments

Big Oil is reported to be making big investments in projects likely to fizzle regarding ROI (return on investments). They are searching for more oil deposits. Better refining processes to make the most of the declining quality of marginal oil finds. Both of those projects may yield good results, but others may be of little or no practical value.


There is a problem with these investments to my mind. First, Big Oil has the money, the assets and the incredible ability to do whatever they want. Problem: what they want is doing the same as they have been doing from day one: find oil, extract it, refine it, sell and distribute it to whomever for whatever price to make yet more money.


That’s not what the world needs. Not now. Not in an age of pollution of air, soil and water.


What we need are renewable sources of energy. What we need is higher efficiency in the use of existing energy so the energy fuel is used wisely and as pollution free as possible.


Humanity needs energy. Plenty of it. So far, man’s trod on earth has produced incalculable damage through pollution. Illness and death have been the result. So too, a future clouded by the health of our planet. It may not sustain human life at some point in the future caused mainly by man-made damage to our environment.


If we need energy AND we need a livable environment, logic suggests that we learn two things: first, change how we get and produce energy; and second, how we use and conserve energy wisely.


This is a no brainer. And Big Oil is in a unique position to do the following:

1.      Identify their industry as Energy; not oil. Energy.

2.      Commit their wealth to research and development for these gains:

a.      Long term energy creation and resources

                                                    i.     Electric generation from chemical, solar, wind, etc.

                                                   ii.     Replacement of internal combustion engines with alternative modes of locomotion: hydrogen cell power, solar charging of electric motors, etc.

                                                  iii.     Creative science solution from physics, chemistry and yet unknown energy resources

b.      Short term oil and natural gas extraction from the earth with the least pollution

c.      Long term reduction in pollution from use of petroleum products (water, soil, air)

                                                    i.     Petroleum products will still need to be used for lubrication and chemical stock purposes

                                                   ii.     Conserve use of oil-based products so supply is adequate for such uses

d.      High efficiency energy use for all kinds of energy

                                                    i.     Whatever form of energy is available and used, use it sparingly so supplies remain adequate

Related to energy is the issue of transportation. Industries serving transportation needs need to realize they are not in automotive manufacturing, or aerodynamics of air and space vehicles but in transportation. The automobile need not be internal combustion powered. It can and should be powered by electric motors or an as yet undiscovered mode of locomotion. Magnetics, particle physics, as well as high-end technology will likely find answers to this puzzle. Perhaps transportation and energy industries should combine their efforts in solving their common problems.


What we do not need is Big Oil finding and refining more oil to consume and pollute the planet. We also do not need the automotive industry producing yet more gasoline powered cars. We need replacements for both. Transportation, whether personal or public, needs to be engineered to produce safe, convenient and non-polluting movement of people and cargo.


Now there’s an investment that will pay huge returns. Let’s get on with it. Perhaps the two industries should combine their research efforts?  There's an idea!


June 6, 2019

Tariffs Every Which Way

We cannot manage the flow of immigrants wishing to come to America. There are those who have magnified this problem for political reasons. And for political gains. The problem remains: managing the flow of immigrants into our land.


We may wish to manage that flow in an orderly manner. That is not always possible. Circumstances require our value of human life to open our arms to those in need. Asylum seekers have rights both by our own laws and by policies of the United Nations. If we do not manage well, we get what we deserve.


Need more staff in the immigration offices? Hire them. Need more social workers and caregivers for the immigrants who are in process of entering our nation? Hire more social workers and caregivers. We have the money. We have the talented people and institutions to supply the labor.


And we have the human and spiritual values to love and help those in need of entering our land of welcome.


So, analyzing the immigrant flow, researchers are finding what they expected to learn.  Immigrants are coming here for economic opportunity. Educational opportunity. Safety. Health care. A chance to prosper with a people who have always prospered with a strong flow of immigrants to live among us. As in the past, they are our future, and our future is vital to theirs.


Mexico provides many immigrants to our land. They have families already here that newer generations wish to join. Economic and social issues in Mexico continue to make America attractive to these immigrants. They are willing to start over in our land because their own is unable to provide the opportunity or potential.


Still, many others come from far more distant lands to our south. They are escaping nations of despot leaders, failed economies, non-existent support programs for human services, and a horrible history of violence and mayhem. They come to America out of desperation. Mexico has nothing to do with it.

And Mexico has less resources to help those far southern nations solve their problems. America has such resources, and we have been sharing them with Honduras, Guatemala, Ecuador, Venezuela, Columbia, and all the rest. For their own good and the region, the US has offered a helping hand for generations. Still more needs to be done if native populations are to remain in their homelands and prosper.


Blaming Mexico for problems raging in other nations is pure baloney. No tariff will solve that problem.


A tariff, however, will harm Mexico, America and consumers in many lands. The tariff solution is pure stupidity at work. Usually it is a policy that fails. Long term problems require long term solutions. And faithful hearts and open minds working together for the common good.


Now there’s a term! Common good. May we look for it and work towards it. With all of our nations.
And friends.


June 5, 2019

Census Question re: Immigrants

Seemingly innocuous, a census question was proposed for inclusion in the 2020 Census. It asked the respondent if he or she were a citizen. It would help identify how many non-citizens live among us. This datum would help marketers, researchers and demographers with a host of interesting information.


Others felt otherwise. Immigrants, for one, might feel preyed upon. Those immigrants who have come from nations of intrusive governments would feel fear and the threat of deportation. Whether they had a basis for that fear or not – lack of documentation? – they would withdraw from the census taking activity. Our nation’s population would be undercounted. Representation in our legislatures and Congress would be misaligned with the true population counts.


Now documents are available that point to a republican party strategy to deliberately undercount population to hurt democrats. Pure politics. Worse; pure party politics.


Never mind that data is inexact as to the full nature of our immigration problem, or that people need help to make healthy adjustment to a new land. Those adjustments will help them prosper and by their success, our success as a people, nation, community and economy will prosper as well.

This tawdry affair of the census is alarming. It demonstrates how self-interested ideologues continue to misrepresent and misgovern our country. The Constitution is all about a form of government that benefits all and secures all. It is about sharing the bounty of our communities, not about selfish misappropriation.


Peace on Earth and Goodwill Toward All Men.


That’s the age old objective of most societies. Yes, it is embedded in ancient religious texts, but that does not detract from its objective or its language or its purpose. Don’t we all hope for Peace on Earth? Don’t we all yearn for Goodwill Toward All Men (humankind)?


I hope so. America has long been a symbol of that hope. Immigrants come to us for security and opportunity. They have not found it in their native land. They have suffered violence, illness, poverty and humiliation at home. They seek better. They seek us.


Hopefully the tale of the ‘good Samaritan’ of the Bible will guide our nation forward?  Welcome the newcomer. Show them respect and love that will make us all strong together.


To make the immigrant an enemy of America is to denude our sensibility of our own history. We are all immigrant stock. Our forefathers came here from other lands. As long as each family has been in America, it still had its first family member arrive on American soil from somewhere else. They began our family’s history here. Like others that followed for over 300 years.


Our doors are still open. Our need for this remains true to the first day of the ratified Constitution.

Lest we forget, the Constitution requires a census of all souls living within our borders every 10 years. That’s an open count for an open people. It will guarantee our open future of vast potential from all of us living here.


Shame on those who would manipulate the Constitution or the Census. Let the count begin. A true count.


June 4, 2019

New Beginnings

It is the commencement season. Students completing one phase of their education going on to another stage. In this case, high school graduation for my oldest grandbaby – Lindsay. She graduated Sunday, June 2^nd from St Charles East High School in Illinois. She will continue her studies at Knox College in Galesburg, Illinois in fall.


Commencement is a new beginning, hence ‘commence.’ Graduates see this as an end of their high school classes. But soon they begin the next phase of their life. Whether that is the world of work and career, or of more education depends on the person. Whether trade school, military boot camp or college campus, these young people are working with what they know about the world and themselves and prepare to gain more life experience.


This commencement is exciting and hopeful. It is also troubling and a bit fearful. What lies ahead can and will be both positive and negative. The yin and yang of life teaches each of us what we are made of, what we are interested in, and what possibilities lie ahead for us to experiment with and explore. The journey of personal discovery is the core of this period of life. (And it never ends!)


Some of us weathered this stage well; others not so well. Some failed dismally. If they survived, though, they still look back on this period of life and know – know – that what they learned about themselves was the payoff.


Recall your own experience. Did I commit my whole being to this enterprise, or did I just get along best I could? Did I dig deep and test my strengths, discover my weaknesses, and still discover joy and potential? None of us are born with defined purpose and futures. Just time ahead to live into.

Into. Stepping into the unknown is education. We learn what we don’t know. We begin to understand that we will never know everything – about the world or about our self. Yes, the world is that large; the self is incalculable as to its reach and capability. All of that is there for us to explore and discover. The possibilities are huge. Our own potential is elastic and expandable within those possibilities.


With all the love and hopes from loved ones, each graduate steps into the future. With our support they will prosper, get bumped at times, yet still succeed. They will be knocked down and spring back to explore more. They will grow. They will learn.


And we will hold our breath at times as they venture into their destiny. We wish them well. We love them. They are the promise of each and every one of us.


Let the future be ready for them! Here they come, ready or not!


June 3, 2019