Keeping Up with the Jones

I grew up with this phrase. It was the late 40’s and all of the 50’s. By the 60’s it was trite and we were replacing the phrase; with what I don't know off the top of my head.


But 'keeping up with the Jones' was shorthand for acquiring the same or better lifestyle than the neighbors.  If they can do it, we reasoned, so could we. Parents said otherwise. So, the shiny new Schwinn was a wish saved for birthdays and Christmas. We dreamed of new cars, too, and wondered why dad didn’t spring for the newest buggy when it came out. We kids were excited at the new car models, but dad and mom were not.


Visiting neighbors, we were treated to their new TVs, new carpeting, and appliances we could only hope for. In time we had those things, but not when they were the newest gadgets on the market. We were slow adopters of new technologies!


No, our family was stodgy and not showy. We limped along with the 10 year old torpedo shaped Pontiac coupe. You know, the one with 120,000 miles on it. Dad got it during the war, and new cars simply were not available. The next new car came in 1951, a dull light blue Dodge. Getting it was exciting, but that soon wore out when we realized what a boring car it truly was. No radio. No turn signals. No power equipment. And in Southern California, no heater. Just new. Time did not enhance that evaluation, either.


I remember the day we got the new 1956 Buick. Boy Howdy that was a super car. Red and white, four door hardtop, convertible. You know, four doors without the center post. It was the newest thing of the day. Sporty and a little luxurious. And it had Dynaflow. Wowzer, that transmission was smooth. After that, a 1961 Ford Galaxie 500 came along. Two cars I know dad liked. All the rest were transportation. Dad was not one for keeping up with the Jones.


Mom was, however. She wanted the new washer and dryer, the dishwasher, the garbage disposer and the new car. She liked decorating the house, buying draperies and replacing the furniture from time to time. She was an American consumer!  Dad tsked tsked his way through decades resisting her urge to keep up with the Jones.


My tastes followed my mom’s. Cars, shoes and watches are still of particular attraction to me. I don’t need them as much as I once thought, nor do I have the disposable income to afford them.  But then my wife through many of those years felt the same as my dad: no sense keeping up with the Jones. I 'suffered' until the divorce. Then I had a ball. But now, aging causes a drop in consumer goods fascination. But hey, the income is now used for health-related expenses.  The rhythms of life do have their toll.


As we learn to live with less, it is what is in our minds that interest us most. Thinking, reading, writing and sharing all of the content, that’s what occupies our time these days. And there is little associated expense for any of it. No repairs, no adjustments, no polishing or waxing. Just thinking and enjoyment.


Come to think of it, there are no Jones to compare this with; nor would they be interested if we could find them. So, two things solved in one stroke: saving money, and getting along with what you have.


I think that is what dad was trying to tell me back in the day.


August 20, 2019

Clutter

Days plod along. Mail arrives. Packages appear, too. Opening them creates waste paper and cardboard boxes. Mail envelopes, spam advertising, and so much more creates more waste.

New machines are unpacked for Rocky. A suction machine. A new electronic larynx (buzzer voice box thingy), supplies for the laryngectomy, pills for Parkinson’s, instructions on assembly of the new items, and more instructions on how to use it all. The literature piles up. Along with journals and a few magazines.


SCORE client files and session notes stack up as well. New clients add to the stack.


After discharge from both hospitals, instructions on daily care and cautions of what to look for add to the paper presence. And a part-time job required to monitor it all. So too, the billing papers to track with insurance documents so we know what to expect financially. So far nothing has arrived to inform us of the terrible toll of medical bills. I’m guessing high, but then hope for the best on what is left for co-pays and deductibles. It will be high no matter what.


We will sort that all out when it comes. Meanwhile, it is the other stuff that accumulates.


We have returned the transport wheelchair; not needed at this time. We maintain a plethora of canes, and one rollator (a walker with four wheels and a handbrake system, seat and storage compartment; all that’s missing is a bicycle handlebar bell!).


Remaining are several piles of medical supplies. Most are not used but came home with us as possibly helpful. Most are not, but once dispensed at hospital, they cannot reabsorb to their inventory. We still need to sort these out.


We continue with two bathrooms. Mine is pristine and ready for use. Rocky’s is not pleasant. That is because it is in constant use for medication procedures, wound site cleaning, stoma clearing, and specialized bathing procedures. The rest you can guess. Without daily maid service it rapidly declines in acceptability. I am not so inclined to provide that particular service.  So Rocky will need to do that.

Hard hearted caregiver, I know. But there are limits.


Limits also become more important as insistent claims on my time rise. If they are foreseeable, they can be planned and made routine. I will rise to the routine, not the feigned emergency which is not. Writing a paragraph requires concentration; interruptions are the enemy of that. So too, completed book chapters while reading; or, of course, TV programs that are interrupted at the crucial moment of discovery and plot resolution.


Things are not the only clutter in our lives. Lack of routine is the new clutter. How I hate unplanned, non-routine obligations. They clutter the mind and the mood. Yet they are required until we make new routines and understand the new normal.


Clutter as process. A new understanding of daily living.


Argh!!


August 19, 2019

Scripting

It’s Friday and mid-August. Evidently many public schools started classes this week, at least brief days of orientation. Next week most of the Illinois kids will be back in classrooms. That means the morning rush hour will be heavy until we get used to it again.


Colleges and universities start next week, too. It took me years to realize that Illinois universities up and down the state space out their starting dates in fall to accommodate student traffic on the I-roads. I had wondered why they didn’t all start at the same time. But whoa! That would have made for a state-wide traffic jam on I-55, I-57 and I-74.


Being Friday, we can expect a summery mix of events, distractions and short trips (just not near a university campus!).  News media will report on the weather, sports and public events as expected. By Sunday evening we will have an accounting of shootings and gun deaths in the Chicago region. Financial gurus will opine for hours on talk shows about what has happened with the stock and bond markets and what that bodes for our combined futures. News junkies will also share their views with anyone bothering to listen. All of this will amount to a lot of words with little lessons to learn.


At this stage of summer, it is better to focus on fall months and how we will spend our energy toward year-end results. This is the heavy lifting season of the year. If you are a returning college/university student, you know what I mean. You have felt the pull of purpose and it’s time to buckle down. Have some fun, but think of the possibilities, then build plans to achieve. If you are a small business owner, you feel the same tug to complete the year on a high note. Who are the best customer prospects? What do they really need? How can I help them? And then, make the sale?


Getting prepared for cooler weather – yes, snow and ice – always makes me serious about fall. Concentration comes easily at this time of year. Springtime is more fanciful and time-wasting.

Yes, it is time to plan the rest of our year. What will we make of it? Who will we come to know? What ideas will birth in our minds and lead to stunning fresh conclusions?


Some constants will stay with us – expenses, income, aches and pains, loves and yearnings, and yes, politicians. But their script is about themselves and why you should vote for them. They seem to have lost why they labor in the first place. What needs to be accomplished? Why? And how will they and we make that happen?


They have possibilities. So do each of us. We have possibilities to explore. Possibilities to make happen. To do.


That’s a script worthy of our attention and energy. Don’t be distracted.


August 16, 2019

Fundamentals

The stock market took an 800-point hit. At the same time world oil prices took a direct hit. Those two markets rattled the public. Was a recession near? Was a massive financial upheaval underway?


Most likely the upheaval has been underway for some time. Major trends start small and seep upward until we notice them. Often, trends make themselves known from a combination of factors. A shortage in a simple product – paperclips – makes us notice that other common office supplies are slow to obtain from the supply chain. This actually happened in the late ‘70’s. At the time, interest rate markets were insanely high; mortgages were going for 18%; auto loans were 12%. Money was short and prices were soaring. Gasoline shortages were headline news.


Here’s a trend that few talk about: declining age of workers. Elders are increasingly not present. They have retired or were pushed out of careers in favor of younger staff who had high tech skills. Greeters at Walmart became their refuge jobs, or caregivers in their neighborhoods. Then Uber and Lyft appeared and new careers opened up. These new careers for elders, however, came with low wages, no benefits, and much of the risk of the job placed on them directly – think auto expense for Uber and Lyft drivers.


At the same time tech workers surged, management workers ebbed. Corporate culture softened and wobbled. Those who knew and understood the corporate culture had been let go. Corporations soon were engaged in their own re-invention; many did not fare well. The newer corporations are still brittle and unproven in their lasting power.  Think of Amazon and what it is like to work there. So many new employees, so much repetitive work and routines, so much boredom and burnout. Work hours are designed to avoid benefit programs, but the hours for overtime and double shifts are welcome and hungrily absorbed until health and psychological issues develop. Not a happy place to work, I hear. How sustainable is their business model?


Labor trends in America have been afoot for at least 10 years, probably longer. But hey, thinking, logic and analysis is apparently not valued in the new workplace, so troubles are becoming evident.

Maybe some older, experienced hands should be consulted?


There is a lot more happening in the American economy than volatile stock values, labor shortages, and vast unused labor resources. There is a value shift from career workers to piece workers, skill set contributors until the project is finished, and then on to the next new thing. Constructing a lasting framework for sustainable products, services and careers is growing scarce.


This questions the underlying value of much we say we value. Are we forgetting why we labor in the first place? Are we chasing our own tails without end or purpose? Are we building a future that is worthy of our values?


The foundation of our culture, our nation and our very lives is at risk. Are we aware of this? If so, what are we doing about it?


August 15, 2019

Americans – The Who

A lot of noisy talk these days. Shouting, invective, cursing. Bulging eyes, red faces, strained neck tendons. An ugly view of discourse in modern America.


As the media continues to ramp up coverage of modern day American discourse, some of us fall back, silent, considering what each side is saying. If not two sides, how many others? What voices are trying to be heard? Are they heard? What are they saying?


Here are some of the messages heard when we are listening:

•  Hear me; know I am here among you
•  I am being left behind; help me keep pace with you
•  Include my concerns in whatever solutions are enacted
•  I do not trust decision makers, elected or not  

These messages are personal, not societal in scope. They have impact on society scope, but they are not focused on the larger picture, only the personal one.

Other messages heard:

• America stands for freedom
• America stands for personal initiative 
• America is creative, inventive
• America wants to embrace all its people; that is its history
• America has made mistakes; we must overcome them, forgive ourselves for these mistakes
• America does not want to be played for a fool
• America does believe in peace, lasting peace embracing all souls on the planet
• America loves nature and instinctively protects it
• Elected leaders have sold their soul to get elected and keep their positions
• Government has been corrupted by money, corporate culture; the two must be separated

These messages are large in scope. They can only be practiced if a majority of people support them.

Yes, there are other messages heard as well. But the primary issues are contained above. Both the personal and the Big Picture messages should be in control at this time. The personal tells us there is a problem in need of repair. The Big Picture messages tell us we care, we support the long-term vision, and we will include everyone in the solutions.


The machinery of government, however, has been corrupted in many ways. The people must be in control of that government. We The People rule America; not its government. That is a major distinction in American life we should never lose sight of. Other nations watch us and hope they can acquire what we have. But first, they must shed the machinery that holds them back.


In the same way, We The People need to shed the machinery that is corrupted and restore trust in our values, government, and future.


New leadership is required. Younger leaders with energy and fresh ideas are needed now. Hopefully the elders will hear this message and heed it. Their role is to coach and mentor, not rule. Now is the time for the next generation to step up and lead.


August 14, 2019

Can we Change?

Yesterday’s blog was a challenge to change. Friends told me that most people will change only reluctantly, and only if they need to. Not changing would deliver consequences so inconvenient and uncomfortable, they succumb to change for survival’s sake.  Example: not paying the mortgage ends up in foreclosure and homelessness.


Another example is not paying the auto loan will eventually lead to repossession of the car. Not a happy thought.


So, the individual changes enough to maintain the home and/or car.


Once sick or recovering from a dread disease, we learn that lifestyle choices created the health crisis in the first place. Changing lifestyle routines will lead to healthier results. So, we change. Maybe not enough, but we take on new habits with the hope that better results will accrue.


One friend told me in no uncertain terms that integration of American society with minorities will happen only when interracial marriage is widespread. That is already happening, but the numbers do not yet yield major success in terms of integration.


Maintaining purity of blood lines, however, is pure racism. Think about that; then claim you are not racist if this is your particular belief.


I do not mean to be radical about this. However, healthy integration takes time, perhaps 3 or 4 generations are needed. I suspect one generation is not enough, but at least it is a start.


Meanwhile, religious zeal among many denominations and sects create hate that has demanded genocide in several global sites. World War II and the Jewish Holocaust is but one seminal example. Think of the Muslim purges in Eastern Europe, Malaysia and Asia. We know it goes on. We knew it happened before. It will continue to happen unless and until people learn to get along with one another in peace.


It is easy to find disagreement. It is easy to feel upset and insulted. It is commonplace to build resentments. Then we merely need to sit back and watch the disaster unfold of another holocaust.


What is more difficult is to learn are ways of getting along with people different from ourselves. That takes discipline and resolve. Recall our current difficulties getting along with our own family members and close friends. Those relations are often stormy and scary.


If humankind is to be successful long into the future, we must learn ways of living in peace with one another. It begins with learning, accepting and adapting to diversity among us.

In small steps we begin.


August 13, 2019

Live Post - Diversity

I have never done this - write to the blog live. Normally I write a post on a Word document, edit it, then publish it to the post. Not today. Too much going on, too many topics flooding the mind. So I decided to just sit down and write to you.

A sermon yesterday morning dealt with change and dealing with it. Wishing for no change means total stasis. No change. No activity. Mere existence. Dormancy.

We need to embrace change. It proves we are alive. It is the stuff life is made of. If no change is happening, our live is winding down to death. That is true for organizations as well. If an organization - company, hobby group, church - is not changing, it is dead, or the walking dead.

Change is challenge. Challenge is exercise for the whole person and the whole organization. We must respond to change, the challenge. We gain insight, ideas and whet the intellect from this activity. It breathes new life and interest into the organism we call 'life.'

There are two distinct changes I think most churches need to embrace.  This goes for all other organizations as well.  Here are the two:

First, knowing our purpose or mission is dandy, but if it does not make room for what is going on in society all around us, then our mission or creed is no longer relevant. All religions, for example, came into being pre-history as mankind attempted to make sense of its existence. Over millennia creeds refined to what we see today as Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Buddhism, Taoism, and so forth. They all emerged from history as changing dynamos. They were and are a product of a changing history and morphing social order in cultures around the globe. All different from our own.

All different from our own. But each is a part of us.

We must accommodate these differences, this diversity, somehow to remain relevant in the world.
 Second, the world society and American society changes over time to look increasingly diverse. In skin color, gender, gender orientation, culture, cuisine, thinking and much more, we are diverse. We should become more diverse in our organizations and churches to reflect that diversity. If we don't, we remain an increasingly isolated ghetto of sameness.

If our companies, schools and churches do not look or seem diverse, then our social structures are dying. Simple test: stand before a representative gathering of your organization - company employee meeting, church service, or school assembly - look out on the sea of faces; do they all look alike or do they show a rich diversity? Are you aware of more diversity beneath the skin and superficial surface?

If your church looks all white, or all black, or all brown, then your church is not diverse. Same with your school or company. These organizations are living artificially. They are not living with the full challenge of social change and integration of differences.

If we wish to be members of private clubs and filtered societies, then I guess change is not welcome. On the other hand, if we wish to be alive, dynamic and expansive in possibilities, we need to seek diversity and actively integrate it into our lives.

The future of mankind rests in this activity. Are we currently up to this challenge?

August 12, 2019