Compelling Comfort

Every now and again peace descends upon me. Maybe it is after supper, the day is mostly done, all that remains is a soft, slow evening sitting in my recliner watching TV. The dog is near; Rocky is relaxing in his chair or on the sofa, and the TV is spewing harmless programming like BBC, Wheel of Fortune, and whatnot.


A glow settles around me. I feel it. Almost see it. Warmth embraces. Peaceful images and feelings dwell within.


Such times are gold. I can feel the cushions resisting my body’s weight. Relaxation oozes its presence.


All is well with the world.


Mind you this does not happen with the news blaring from the TV. No; not at all. Much better to turn off news programs, switch to something banal. Allow the peace to come. Intentional.


The dog will need walking at 8 pm. A quick pee and then back to her bed. Soon after, I have a quick pee, take my pills, and fall into bed. We are creatures of this earth and must do the necessaries. In that we are all the same.


The mattress pushes back against tired muscles and stiff bone joints. The neck; lower back; cantankerous knees; even the damn ankles and feet. In minutes all are grateful. They too, find peace.


Soon it is 5 am. Arise and find the phone, turn off the oxygen thingy, do the bathroom necessary, scan the phone and then more pills. Turn on computer, make coffee, and begin the computer day. The blog dashboard to see the latest activity; then pull today’s copy forward, copy to the blog draft and edit. Satisfied? Press ‘publish.’ Copy to Facebook and then done with that task.


On to a scan of Facebook activity, then to the Internet news feeds for a scan of the world and its hot spots. Afterward, scan webpages with think pieces. Read as many as possible. Finally, clean up the coffee mess and the kitchen, clean the dog dishes, and set out fresh water and breakfast for the pooch. A dog walk follows, then my own shower and dressing for the day. It is now 7:45 am.


By 8:15 I’m ready for the rest of the day. Meetings, breakfast with friends, blog writing, email traffic for SCORE and family and friends. If done by 10 am, it’s time for a nap. Then a dog walk at 11.


By noon it is time for lunch snacks and playing DVR recordings of Trevor Noah and Stephen Colbert. We laugh at the world and its zany politicos. We find perspective and release from the tensions of the day. And then we nap again.


The afternoon carries another dog walk at 4 pm, meetings, more internet musings, and then supper. If successfully embraced, the evening embrace of peace descends.


And the circle has been completed.


Now you know. The daily routine of a retired 76-year-old bloke. The only changes are the meetings, the people and the tasks encountered. All interesting. All life changing. All worthwhile.


Life does begin at 65. And 70. And 75. And whenever time is granted to us to savor the sweetness of life. If you are not yet there, know that it will come.


September 9, 2019

The Press, Free Speech & Civility

The title is a mouthful. It holds promise of interesting topics. In a blog, however, the promise is limited. Space for one; attention span for another. Perhaps attention span is the controller here. After all, most readers want a quick scan, not a poser that absorbs time in their busy day.


So, the scope of this post today is limited. The Press is a venerable institution much in decline today. Its mission is honorable but tattered. Too few dollars make teams of journalists sparse and unable to cover their news beats. Free Speech is another venerable institution, especially in America. It too, however, is much in decline. Pressure points serve to limit the ideas expressed. Who will be offended? Who will not? And so writers clip their prose so as not to offend.


Civility is a behavior of the past. Polite society set standards of social interaction and grace. Today those standards are in ruins. Tossed aside so my speech or yours can be heaped on someone else to cow their freedom of speech. “How dare you say that about…..?”  “Damn you, you scoundrel for dissing me!” You get the point.


So, the Press exists but not in the abundance it once was. Freedom of the Press is much more limited these days as autocrats and political hooligans wage war on the ideas they do not agree with. Clearly that is a limitation of Freedom of Speech.


What is important to us? As Americans, free speech and freedom of the press are high on our scale of defenders of our way of life. If that is truly the case, then why are both these institutions in such obvious decay?


As the once managing editor of a local, independent newspaper, my view is seared in memory. We were not profitable, mostly unprofitable, and with an all-volunteer staff. It was a labor of love for all of us. We worked hard and heard positive things from our readers. However, no one wanted to pay for the newspaper, and advertising was scarce. Oh, businesses and organizations wanted access to our information channel and readers, but they simply would not pay for it. Social Media was free, don’t you know? So, we couldn’t raise ad revenues to pay our costs.


The paper folded after seven years. We existed on some ads, a lot of red ink and some gracious donations from contributors. And a lot of free time from writers and staff.


Today, I get most of my news from the internet. I don’t pay for the news sources, just the wi-fi connection. More and more primary news sources are asking for my subscriptions to read their articles. They give me four a month for free, but after that, I’m cut off. I’m about to reward my favorites with a subscription. That would be the Washington Post and the New York Times. I’m still thinking on this, but I do value a free press and know well the lesson that the press is not free; someone has to pay for it. Freedom of the Press is about gathering and sharing the facts. That still is operable. The operating costs, however, are not free and we must help pay for those.


Freedom of speech is alive and well but takes more courage these days than in the past. To win the right of free speech, however, many people – our ancestors – paid dearly with their lives to pay for such freedom. We owe it to ourselves and subsequent generations to support, fight for, and win freedom of speech in perpetuity.


Civility? That’s also up to each of us to be polite, respectful and hearing the voices and speech of those we probably don’t agree with. But who knows? We might just learn something that will make all the difference in the world!


September 6, 2019

Coping

Load up the schedule. Slot in another task. Consider an assignment and what needs researching. How would I lay out the written report? What are the expectations? What doctor’s appointment do we have today, or therapy, or prescription pickup?


Lots to do. Today. Tomorrow. The next day.


To be expected, and all manageable. Five meetings a month for caregiver groups. What are their experiences? How are those different from mine? Does my experience add understanding to their interaction with their patient? What do we pull from each other that helps us cope with what’s happening?


Yes, busy days, but manageable. Interesting, too. At least for now. I can see how a day will arrive that I might be tense and ready to explode. But not yet. Just minor annoyance at timing. Easily transacted.

The caregiver groups are an investment for when times get much more rough. We have time, though. Things are quite manageable right now. There’s that word again – manageable. Must be on my mind that it one day will not be so.


But then, coping is a talent one gains with time and experience. We all have been coping with too much on our plate for a lifetime! This is not new. The challenges have been there all along. The only difference now is we know more about what is coming; not if, when. We don’t know the when, just that it is ahead for us.


Current coping is to avoid fast foods and make something to eat at home. So far that is frozen fare. Casseroles from Stouffers. The are good. A little high in sodium and fats, but tasty and convenient to fix. Some days we add veggie side dishes, also frozen. Calculate the cost of these meals, realize fast food is the same or cheaper. Run to McDonalds or Burger King, or Augustino’s or Rosati’s. All good, but the last two are triple the cost of the first two. Let’s not go there! Avoid them. Budget too tight for them.


Going to meetings adds complexities to the calendar, but those doings outside the home are food for the brain and emotions. They keep me sane. The SCORE mentoring is challenging and fun. So too the discussion groups at church; those tickle the mind in ways the internet can’t. Plus interacting with people is a tonic in itself. So we continue to allow these activities, yes, even treasure them.


Making a difference in the lives of others still makes a difference in my life. It is a coping skill readily available. The writers’ group, too. We meet monthly and share our writings with one another for tips, edits, and suggestions. A rich experience. Some are publishing their books as we speak. So this group is fruitful, too!


Coping may seem a challenge, but in the main it is a continuation of routines that shift into different modes just like life demands of us normally. Sometimes the urgency is different, but then the caring is more as well. We do what we must. And it is good. All is good.


September 5, 2019

Focus on Differences

It’s fun to learn new things. Hell, it’s fun to learn new things about old things we thought we knew.

That’s one reason we listen to others. They may have something to say that helps us see something in a broader perspective. That nudge of fuller understanding may be the missing link we needed to handle the issue differently, better, more successfully.


That’s why we listen. That’s why we open our minds to hear what we don’t know. Sometimes, the unknown is close to our understanding, but we missed a crucial piece of information.


We grew up knowing we were all unique human beings. Intrinsically, that means we know we are all different in some ways; large and small, the differences matter to each of us on how we perceive the world around us.


On the other hand, we are all human beings. Either female or male (although we are coming to understand that even that has many bits and pieces that explode the binary concept of gender). Everything else is different: our DNA, place of birth, age, ethnicity, culture, religion and so many other points of difference too numerous to mention. The differences are what define each of us in the particular. That helps us understand ourselves and others, too.


The challenge is not making difference the point of it all. It is the sameness that offers the reason to protect all of us because of difference.


Differentness is a cause to celebrate, not ballyhoo as a separator or fault. Large, small, tall, short, it doesn’t matter what we are; it only matters who we are in the fullest sense. How do we magnify the value of each other’s lives? Why do I matter, and you?


It is easy to focus on the differences among us. It is more challenging to find the things we agree on and can work together on.


Several decades ago my church asked me to teach Sunday school to 7^th and 8^th graders. I prepared a lesson plan, took advice from the denomination’s lesson plan guidebook, and set out to deliver a relevant educational experience to the students. Because I was a seminary student at the time, everyone thought this would be easy. Not!


The kids looked at me with quiet respect and asked why there were so many different religions. They wanted to know how each was different from their own. They wanted to compare in order to understand. They were not trying to set themselves apart from others, rather to understand differences as enrichment.


So I began a term of comparative religions, beginning with Roman Catholic, Jewish, Methodism, Baptists, and so forth. We were Congregationalists – United Church of Christ.


It was a hoot. Priests and nuns were quick to cooperate with our educational journey. The local synagogue was thrilled that these middle schoolers were interested in understanding religious heritage through diversity. We had many houses of worship open their doors to us, including visits on weekdays and Saturdays. We discussed with worship leaders their roles and the why of the rituals. Kids of similar ages gathered to share their understanding of their own religion so those in other churches and traditions could better understand them. And vice versa.


These young people asked for this eye-opening class work. And we had a great year of learning. It started with honest questions and honest seeking of answers. It began with open minds and a hunger for facts. These kids had it right. Why I stumbled along to keep up with them was my shame of weakness.


Difference is texture. Texture is breadth and depth. Enrichment is a combination of all these. What a rich and diverse universe we live in. As human beings we have cause to celebrate this richness.

Shalom! Peace.


September 4, 2019

Existential Concerns

Yesterday we spoke of peace and goodwill toward all humankind. Another way of saying it is survival. Survival plus quality of life. The latter reflects on goodwill toward all humankind, I think.


Survival. To be or not to be.  When we speak of peace, aren’t we stating uncategorically that we wish to survive and thus repudiate war? And then, is that the opposite of peace?


I’m not certain of that. There must be people who will argue endlessly that these terms are not only different but disconnected from one another. My soul believes otherwise. Of course, you knew that didn’t you?


To be or not to be, that is certainly the question as Shakespeare’s Hamlet asserts.


Facing that question on a very personal level, I tend to make deals before answering the question. Example: would you ever like to go back and live your life over again? The answer is yes only if I can go back knowing what I know now. Well, that’s not a fair answer. If I were to live life over again it would be on the same basis as my original life – start from scratch and learn day by day how to survive. Would I live it differently the second time around?  Probably yes, but not because I knew more; that ‘condition’ was rejected.


Yes. We know people who seem to live golden lives. Somehow they knew the correct response to stimuli and lived life well. They skirted problems we had to run straight thru, brambles and all. I truly doubt we would live any differently the next time around.


The brambles teach us valuable lessons. One is to see them before hand, realize what they are, and avoid them. Although we would have missed the pain of the brambles, we would not then know what the pain would be like. Experiencing pain is part of life, part of the learning cycle. We learn not to touch the hot stove eventually. Same with brambles. The pain, however, is the motivator of avoidance.


Life teaches us many things: pleasure, joy, sadness, loss, love, thrill, laughter, and much, much more. So we live this day and sleep expecting the next day to appear. It is a rhythm we come to know. It is natural. When we witness another person’s loss – of life or a loved one, or the threat of that loss – we realize the opposite of life is possible. Death. Absence of life. We don’t know what that is because we would have to die to know what it is like. Of course we cannot know this and remain alive.


I have some clients who have died and returned to life. They believe this fully. They were in accidents or suffered severe health issues, died and were resuscitated and came back from death. They share their experiences of being outside their body and ‘seeing the activity around me’ without the me feeling anything. It is an external perspective. Then a blip or two later – they know not the length of time elapsed – they are back in body and breathing. When they awake from unconsciousness, they remember the experience. They associate with one another now because they alone can share this happening. It is something they each relate to; not you and I. We have not known this phenomenon; we have no basis upon which to share.


If we value life we make efforts to maintain it, prolong it. We even invest in enriching the experience of life. But is the enrichment as basic as that of surviving in the first instance? That is what I mean by existential concern. Our existence alone is the core fact. What do we do to maintain our life? Can we accurately project that concept to vast numbers of people and seek commonality in survival alone? Is this question even answerable?  


Perhaps this is where we begin the discussion on seeking global peace. The what and why in the personal instance is the starting point for each discussant. Now the trillions of dollars spent world-wide on military capabilities come into focus. If such were not needed, what would we do with that wealth? And why?


September 3, 2019

Agreement – Universal?

When I sit back and ponder what can be, my mind goes quickly to the one big item I have wished for most of my life. No, it is not having abundant money. No, it is not about having the newest, nicest car, or even good looks or an endless supply of steaks. None of that. Nice items, but not my biggest, bestest hope.


That would be: world peace, goodwill toward all of mankind.


I often wonder how that would be. What would the world look like if we had total peace, no wars or armed conflict anywhere on the globe, and that as a sustainable condition. How would each of us live our lives knowing there was total peace everywhere? Would we be happy? Would we be struggling with something else that then becomes the most important hope or problem to manage?


When President John F. Kennedy set a goal to place a man on the moon by the end of the decade (1969), we didn’t know how to make that goal happen. But we did get busy finding out how to do it. We literally invented our way to the moon, back, and safely kept the astronauts alive and healthy. We learned how to do it so we repeated the task a few more times. The space program is now a mature feature of American science and engineering.


Peace could be our goal as well. We truly do not know how to achieve this goal, after all, we have worked toward it for hundreds of years. If anything, wars and military sciences have only expanded the carnage and capability of same many times over.


No, for me peace is achievable, a great goal. I hope it is for you as well.


The task ahead to make the goal happen, is to learn how to do it. It will take listening to all peoples and their leaders. We have the UN as a good starting point and operating platform. Not perfect, but it is there to be used. We have fine universities throughout the global community; each has talents and achievements to their credit that can be used in finding and maintaining world peace. We should build on their expertise and knowledge, work together and support the peace goal.


We have billions of people on the planet interested in and hoping for peace. With such support, surely we can urge our leaders to do what is necessary to achieve world peace.  


We have the resources and wealth to make peace possible. With the will of the people, we should have no problem. Right?


Wrong! If it were that simple, peace would be our companion at this moment. We know it is not, therefore, we have work to do.


The first step is to agree that world peace is a worthy goal to work toward and make the national commitment to do so.


The second step is to develop a plan among nations to support the goal’s achievement. This will take concentration, commitment, money, understanding, and open eyes, ears, minds and hearts. The last two are the most valuable. They are also the most difficult to muster to aid our goal’s achievement.


We have people of good will and people of ill will. We have munificent leaders and autocrats or dictators. We have generous people and cultures, but also greedy people and nations. Whether it is power or riches pursued, there seems to be someone always wanting what someone else has. Thus crime, war and violence is a constant companion of modern life.


To change that, we must agree to disagree, focus on the things we do agree on, and build on that consensus to generate the will and the way toward peace. The benefits are enormous. Consensus builds understanding, commonality of purpose, and huge reductions in military costs while these resources can be used to support better living conditions for everyone.


We’ve had the ugliness of world wars. Can’t we spend the time, energy and money saved on those fruitless pursuits to achieve something that is much better and happier?


If we don’t do this, no one else can. If we don’t save our lives together, then there will eventually be no life. If we don’t save our own planet from mankind’s destruction, we will have no planet.


This isn’t for me. It isn’t even for you. But it is for our kids, our families and their successive generations. We were given life and opportunity. It is time for us to do the same for future generations.


September 2, 2019

What’s Happening?

Change is happening. Always does. Sometimes it is fast; sometimes slow. But change is always present.


Yes, change is uncomfortable for most people. Especially for those who are not prepared for it. It can sneak up on us at times and we say, ‘Wha…?”


Consider the opposite: nothing changes. Just the same old, same old. What then is our reaction?

Mainly boredom results. And eventual suffocation. Death.


Change is life-giving. Stagnation is life-taking.


So, if you want your company to be more lively, find the change that will make it so.  If your family is stuck in a rut, find a way out of that rut and discover new dimensions of life.


The same is true of political parties, churches, cars, industries, and food.


The old stuff is familiar and known. It is therefore comfortable. But, beware; no change is unhealthy and we must find the new to create the future.


Our industries are changing. Example: electric vehicles are being manufactured more and more. They are getting better and better, go farther on a battery charge, and are coming down in cost. This is so true that Ford Motor Company is moving in the direction of electric vehicles for their entire inventory. That will take time to happen, but it has to start somewhere. Good going Ford for breaking out of the stale, old mold!


Now, if GM or Chrysler is ready for change, I bet a vital partnership with Tesla will speed up both Tesla and the acquiring or partnering corporation. Soon our society will have a ready supply of high efficiency electric vehicles using renewable energy sources. Hopefully this will cause air pollution and CO2 pollution to drop significantly.


If churches want to demonstrate their love for everyone, they need to attract more people different from their current congregations, get to know them, and minister to everyone’s needs. The population of the USA is changing, always has been changing. Fewer white people means more ethnic diversity in our nation. Congregations ought to look like a cross section of the nation of which they are a part. Isn’t it time we looked deeply into this issue and ourselves?


The retail industry is being totally rebirthed. Customers still exist. Those customers still need all sorts of goods. How they buy them, with what currency, and how they take possession of them, is totally adjustable. Sales of goods and delivery of them is not down. Customers are buying on-line and having them shipped directly to their homes. They forego the trip to the store or mall and transaction business directly with the retailer with a computer over the internet. That is becoming the new normal.


So, retail industries will need to adapt to this new standard. Malls will disappear in the main, and how we learn about new products and services will be invented along the way. That leaves mall real estate available for other purposes. What will they become?  Who is inventing this new normal?


I think this is an exciting time. Our population is on the rise. Current citizens are having fewer children per household, but more immigrants from other nations repopulate our nation and help us grow. They also enrich our culture with theirs, and their skillsets, and their viewpoints. This is good. Different. Good.


It is only a threat for those who fear the unknown.


Time to do something about that. Opening the doors would be a great start!


August 30, 2019