Catching On...To Being Human

Knowing others, loving them, loving self and being able to receive love…these are stepping stones to being fully human.  Along this rocky road of self discovery there are triumphs and abject failures. To wit:

“Everyone makes mistakes in life, but that doesn't mean they have to pay for them the rest of their life. Sometimes good people make bad choices. It doesn't mean they are bad. It means they are human.” ~Author Unknown

We think we are smart. We believe we make few mistakes and those only by accident. But no! We make lots of mistakes. Usually because we simply didn't take the needed care to think of consequences or tangent issues. Even with care we make choices that prove to be poor or develop unintended consequences. We are imperfect. We are human. Accept it. That does not make us bad people!

Here’s another anonymous quote:

“You will begin to HEAL when you let go of past hurts, forgive those who have wronged you and learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes.”

Yes people have done me wrong, whether intended or not, whether fully understood or not. They did things we can assume were mistakes. Poor choices. We do the same to self and others. We have to learn to forgive them. Then we can forgive ourselves. That is a major step to maturity and healing. It is a gift we give ourselves really. But in doing so we are also gifting others by forgiving them whether they know we are doing so or not. Anonymity has benefits. This may be the biggest benefit!

I found this on the internet the other day and it made me think in surprising ways. Perhaps you too?

“Marriage does not guarantee you will be together forever; it’s only paper. It takes love, respect, trust, understanding, friendship and faith in our relationship to make it last.  ~Unknown

Yes, the license allows institutions to go into action. A couple becomes a legal couple in mysterious ways. But it is the relationship that is central, with or without the paper! Loving the other person and having it returned is the base of the marriage relationship. So too is friendship, you know, the strength of liking another person well enough to weather any storm and turn it into a center of laughter over time! Faith in each other grows over the years as we struggle to understand, accept, trust and respect each other. All of this takes enormous work. And honesty within one’s self. If any of these things weaken then the compact that is central to marriage is broken. And the marriage is over.

Another anonymous quote:

“Giving someone else equal rights does not infringe or take away rights from you. It just makes it illegal to enforce your prejudice and hate. It’s that simple.”

So in the case of gay marriage rights, such a marriage has no bearing whatever on the marriage of others, straight or gay. Loving or not loving. Practical marriages as opposed to loving unions.

There is so much palaver spewing in public places about gay marriage being the call of doom to religion and other marriages and what not. What a basket of bosh!

Your marriage is your marriage to work on and make successful. My marriage is my business as well. I have no role in your marriage. You have no role in mine. Leave each other be.

A religious community defines marriage one way, another religious community defines marriage in yet another way. The state and nation define marriage as a union, a contract with benefits for each. It is not a religious contract but a legal one. One has nothing to do with the other.

Churches define the rite of marriage. Believers keep their covenant with that rite. People of the same faith or similar ones have a core agreement about such things. But they cannot get married legally without a license granted by the state. So there are two marriages.

Believe what you will. Live accordingly. Your marriage is sacred to you. To me it is both sacred and legal. You live by your beliefs and I will do so with mine. Such is the nature of freedom – of religion, of conscience, of mind, of intellect, of America. I don’t have a right to impinge my beliefs on your life. So therefore you do not have a right to impress your religious beliefs and regulations on my life. You live your marriage. I will live mine.

That’s religious freedom. And so much more!  See if you can discern these truths in public discussions on these topics!

In closing this quote serves us well:

“I've come to realize that the only people I need in my life are the ones who need me in theirs even when I have nothing else to offer them but myself.” – Unknown

If I have to yield to their beliefs or them to mine, then we have no basis for a relationship and we ought to be allowed to drift apart to seek fulfillment without mutual impediments. Such peace will reign! But will we allow this to happen?

November 11, 2013