Centering

So much going on. So many currents of busy roles to play. Connecting here; dropping off something there; picking up a friend over there; taking them on several errands around town. Each movement a role to do and to fulfill.

Called on. Calling on others to do. Interaction of people and their stories.

Coming to know them; coming to know self, too. These happen every day.

And so it goes. Day after day. Year after year. Ticking past us, in us, from us, mostly unseen, unknown and unfelt until something happens to focus our attention.

Do we need to be reminded of renewal? Are we not renewing every day as it is? Or is the reminder to heighten our awareness of what is already happening and thus to appreciate it even more for its value in our lives?

We sat in a meeting at church the other day planning Lenten services. Themes were asked of us. What is the season about? How do we involve attendees to engage in the church season? What is Lent? What does it mean to each of us? What ought it to mean?

I’m not the church person. I have few answers. All I know is my yearning.

Are others doing the same? Or are they more centered than I and do not need this planned centering experience we hope to plan?

What is the purpose of Lent? Traditionally it is a Christian period of preparation for Easter. It is focused on Christ and the events leading up to his death and resurrection. It is a liturgical season of repentance, inner searching and deepening of faith.

For those not steeped in strict tradition – most of us who are mere mortals seeking self and peace – Lent is most likely a period of solemn contemplation.

For me it is a time to center my thinking: who am I? Of what use is my life? How well do I serve others? Where is peace found? What is the ‘well of happiness’? Am I drinking from that well?

That’s what I mean by centering. Coming to grips with myself, my growth of being, my self actualization…my becoming whatever it is that will be. I am not in control of it and that is a good thing! I do need to sense fulfillment and purpose, though. I need to feel good about myself and life, that I am giving as much or more than I am taking.

That’s what Lent means to me. It is fully within the spirit of the church but very much outside of the ordered tradition, I think. Out of kilter with the church, perhaps, but not out of order.

Let me provide a context of meaning.

We need to find a new home. The past needs to be put to rest. The present is only a period of transition. It is the future we are focusing on. A new place to live within. A new envelope. A place that serves as a nest and a launching pad for daily purpose and inspiration.

As we look at homes we are challenged by long flights of stairs, small rooms, cramped bathroom facilities, aged kitchens and facilities that will challenge everyone regardless of their age. But most importantly, these ‘places’ often do not include a sense of wanting to be here.

I look out a window and see another building, a dying tree, a commercial strip, a row of wheels of parked cars, a patch of weeds. I do not see lawn, bushes or trees. I do not see nature, a vignette filled with life and variety. I see struggle and decay and…?

Those sites may be places, but they are not homes.

One must feel ‘at home’. Inspiration at hand. A feeling of belonging. Of being wanted or needed. A place to plug in for more life.

I've had plenty of struggle. I don’t need more. Life will provide plenty of that as the years count down and health subsides toward eternity. I don’t need a daily struggle to motivate past the ugly landscapes so often provided by modern urban settings.  We do not seek a modern day utopia, just the promise to nurture the self day by day.

Sharing the journey of nurture with others is natural and life-giving.

That is the Lenten message wrapped in a small nugget for me – an envelope of nurture for nurture; inward and outward. Renewal in this sense is enabled but grasped and worked outward to envelope others.

Are our surroundings providing that envelope? If not, what must we do to find it, develop it, allow it to be?

Another project for Lent in the future!

February 10, 2014