Being of Use

The Midwest has been pounded by some mighty winter storms over the years. This will likely continue; some years will be worse than usual while others will be milder. The averages will still be maintained and winter weather will have to be survived.

During a storm I've noticed people help each other. At the supermarket people will help others get unstuck in the snow while backing out of a parking space; others will help push/pull the grocery cart through the snow and mush to someone’s car, especially if it is a woman with small kids, or an elderly person. We tend to stick together in such times and help each other.

Audrey Hepburn, the late famed actress and later UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador, said this:

“As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands: one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.”

With that attitude, had she lived in the Midwest she would certainly have assisted others during a winter storm! Not a Midwesterner she managed to help others quite handily regardless. It’s a human nature thing, I think. We naturally help each other if we are gathered in a spot and witness someone else’s difficulty.

Being of use comes naturally. Most people feel good about doing something for another person. It gives us a lift in spirit. Once the act is done it draws us into doing it again. In a storm and in a supermarket parking lot, opportunity knocks often!

Doing something for someone else also does two other things: it reminds us that we would like the same consideration if we needed help; and the act gets us outside of the self, a sense of freedom and fulfillment.

Not bad rewards for helping others. I’m surprised we don’t do these things more often!

On to public matters, rather than helping, we often complain. I’m reminded of a quote by Teddy Roosevelt:

            “Complaining about a problem without proposing a solution is called whining.”

That works for me. Pretty simple too. The Late Mayor Richard J. Daley, was often quoted as saying “It’s easy to complain; but where are your programs?”  We used to laugh at his messed up syntax but this is one quote that hits the nail on the head. If you don’t like something, or are concerned about a burgeoning public problem, what ideas do you have that would alleviate the situation? Can you lend a hand with the issue instead of make negative noise?

John Kenneth Galbraith, noted economist and political commentator (1908 – 2006) often provided gritty comments on current events. Here’s one that appears true today as well:

“The modern conservative is engaged in one of man’s oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.”

It is known as the ‘what’s in it for me’ syndrome. Or ‘why should I care?’ syndrome. This is the opposite of what we were discussing, mainly the willingness of helping others, or engaging in spontaneous acts of kindness. Those are the feel-good moments in life, while Dr. Galbraith would argue some ideologues fall into the selfish trap. Such people are protecting themselves from being taken advantage of, perhaps. They still want to feel good about themselves so they build a false front that covers their selfish motives with an air of superiority.

I think this is an inner enemy of such people, however. Something they are afraid of or such. Some people might jump to the conclusion that such folks are haters. I don’t think so.  I think hate and fear have been confused here. As Gandhi said:

            “The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but it is fear.”

Maybe we can help these people with an act of kindness? Randomly delivered without warning? Perhaps they would learn to be less fearful and more joyful.

July 18, 2014