Losing a Football Season

By now you may have read or heard from the media that a high school in Sayreville, New Jersey has cancelled its football season. The reason? Hazing and sexual abuse on the team. It appears upper classmen on the team bullied and hazed the freshmen players. The pattern escalated and soon it became physical, demeaning and somewhat sexual. Laughter, of course, accompanied the abuse; the more to abase the victim. The jollies felt by the older players, however, soon turned sour as school administrators cancelled the entire football season. They were appalled that such behavior was happening on school property.

Looking closely at the athletic program personnel, the school administration is weighing all options. For now the incidents are embarrassing. Powerfully so. What to do?

The community is shocked. They have lost their football season. And they wonder why!

They wonder? At physical and sexual abuse by older players targeting younger players? Really? They wonder why the school cancelled the season because of that? After all, only a few perpetrated the violations. Really?

It takes a group to do what happened. It took the entire team to let it happen. All said nothing until the cost not to say something became too great. The hazing was reported. The story came out. It takes a team, you know, to get things done, or not.

It also takes a village to raise a kid. Sayreville may be in trouble on that score. It seems football is more important than morals.

Bullying is like that, isn't it? At first it entices the participants because of its forbidden nature, then the excitement of embarrassing another person just for the fun of it. Just don’t go over the line, whatever and wherever that is! Problem is we don’t know where those boundaries exist, but we will know them when we see them.  Really?

The nature of bullying is that it almost always goes too far. And that’s just the point of the problem, and hazing, too. It almost always goes too far. Besides the emotional hurt of the actions, the damage is likely to be long lasting – or permanent. The sexual aspect is just an added allure that crosses the boundary unannounced.

Life’s like that! At any given time we don’t know what entices us, or doesn't. Until it does. Then boundaries are crossed and we get in trouble. With ourselves. “Deliver us from evil…”

Football is not as important as morals. Football is not more important than scholastics.

Successful football teams at high schools know this. Team experience teaches many values.  Most of them are wholesome and life-supporting. Out of control and team experience is not much different than a mob.

Lessons to be learned here. Bullying has no place in any society focused on justice. Physical abuse – sexual or not – has no place in our social institutions. Sports, schools or clubs. Teaching the next generation requires leadership and attention to detail. Set the tone and inspect what you expect. Teach again from those lessons learned. Help the kids understand what is right. The wrong will take care of itself.

But only if a village has its eyes focused on what’s important.

Hopefully Sayreville, New Jersey will learn from this experience. Currently a witch hunt is on in the community to discover who were the snitches that led to the cancellation of the season! Right now the village is in trouble. The focus needs to be on what happened, why and how to never allow that to happen again. The snitches are the heroes of the moment.

Perhaps the village needs to learn still more?

October 21, 2014