Toxic Personalities

No doubt you know a few people who are hard to be around. I’ve had my share. Being a gregarious sort of person, I attempt to connect with them anyway and give them the benefit of the doubt. This helps the situation and the troubled person softens enough to maintain a working relationship.

Working relationship is the key here. If two people have to work together because they are fellow employees, or there is a public employee – citizen needing service sort of thing, then you make the best of it and move on with your life.

If you can you most likely work around the person and avoid them whenever possible. Not always a practical solution, but it is usable for short spells. Eventually the person  moves on to another position or organization, everyone breathes a huge sigh of relief and life goes on. Or maybe you move on to a new situation in which this person is no longer an issue.

When the person in question is a member of your family, however, be prepared for unexpected troubles. I’ve had my share of these folks, too; perhaps you too?

At any rate what we do with these situations is a no-win proposition. If you remove yourself from events and family gatherings because of someone toxic will be at the same event, it’s now on you for taking this position. Others now seem to feel hurt because I’ve managed the situation by absenting myself.

I think this is a good solution for the most part. As long as the others understand this, then I think it is OK. At least my peace of mind is at rest; and the person at the center of the problem will make of it what he/she will. Not my problem; that’s on the other person.

Some people just have a knack for goading other people. Some people seem to enjoy bothering others. Pushing limits? Whatever the objective, I don’t get it. Maybe they realize they have been in the wrong for a long time and don’t know how to apologize? Of course there are those who don’t know they have this effect on others and then can only react on what they perceive to be bad behavior on the part of others. I think in those situations, we deal with things far beyond our control. Best to let that relationship go for one’s own serenity.

How the rest of the family feels about this is apt to be quite varied. Even anger and hurt creep into the equation. I truly don’t have an answer for that. All I have is my own serenity to maintain and be accountable for. It’s a matter of non-escalation and containment.

Not everyone will understand this, I guess. That only spreads the hurt farther. For them and me.

Oh the damage some people are capable of! I think the mental health of all concerned is on trial.

Perhaps you have a pearl of wisdom to share here? I’m at a loss other than turn the other cheek and go on with my life the best I can.

Thanks for listening.

July 3, 2017