"You can do anything if you want to badly enough." You have
heard that phrase many times in your life. Your dad told you so; so did mom.
Maybe your grandparents told you the same thing. You were probably young, under
10 years of age.
Later, when you were in your teens, you heard the statement
several times more. The tone of voice was likely different. When quite young,
those voices were sweet and lilting. They were meant to be encouraging and
hopeful. The later voices were tinged with impatience and maybe some anger.
Come on! Admit it. Faced with an exam at school in which you
have no confidence, you worry about failing the test. Or an assignment with the
Scouts or church group. Maybe you were taking music lessons and there’s this
one piece that remains a mess for you; it simply doesn’t sound good to you even
with 10 hours of practice. Then the booming voice from dad says, “you can do it if you want to; just keep trying. The world hates a quitter.”
So now the encouragement sounds like a threat at worse, or
an admonishment at best.
In college or on the first job after high school, some tasks
seemed too difficult to do. You muttered something about it at home, and in
earshot of the folks. Of course they told you “you can do it if you want to
badly enough.”
Once in college the folks weren't handy to bleat the phrase
each and every time. But your roommates were! And they handed the message to
you again and again. Only this time you took it as encouragement from friends,
and tried harder. It worked! Little by little you did stretch abilities enough
to accomplish what once seemed impossible.
After college we accepted a progression of jobs and built a
career. During all of it difficulties were encountered and we had to dig deep
to complete assignments. Still later, you supervised or managed others and they
experienced the same challenges as you. This time you encouraged them so the
team could score a win. And they did.
With marriage and kids adding to the family core, you
found yourself telling your own kids the same message your folks did. You did
it with love and encouragement. At times you admonished when patience ran thin.
Still, you remembered being on the receiving end.
At key moments in life, when dreams and hopes challenge our
abilities, we notice the need to stretch ourselves. Singing the first solo at
church is one of them. You hate the fear and worry but you stick to it and do
it. Errors and all, the experience was OK; you didn’t fail miserably, and most
people didn’t notice what you knew for certain was a mistake.
The first speech before an audience over 100 is also a
moment of trepidation. Repeated a few times makes each added speaking
engagement easier to plan and do. In time it becomes an acceptable challenge;
you still feel uneasy about it, but the relief and satisfaction afterwards is a
blessed reward.
Writing for publication is similar. Studying for added
expertise is yet another example of stretching. Sharing what’s inside you with
others makes you wonder if you will measure up. Will I be OK? Will I keep my
colleagues and friends? Or will I lose them with a tarnished reputation?
Gosh we are hard on ourselves. It is normal to feel this
way, however. Our emotional reactions are proof that we are struggling and
growing. The stretch is our going beyond usual limits and trying something new
and different. The experience helps us grow. And learn.
Advice: look on opportunities to move outside your comfort
zones as golden opportunities to learn and grow. Don’t avoid them; anticipate
them. Look for them. Then answer the call.
You’ll be glad you did. And the rest of us will be better
for it, too.
February 23, 2018
No comments:
Post a Comment