Causes of Bad Behavior

I counsel teen drug addicts every Wednesday evening. I’m looking for critical causes in their life to understand why they did what they did. What led them to drugs and chaos? 

I wonder about school shootings; why did the shooter do what he did? What led him to this specific path?

A youthful life of crime – burglary, auto theft, rape – what led these youth to such behavior?

The cause is the object in this wondering. Finding the cause will help me understand why these people did what they did, and continue to do what they do. It doesn’t answer the question of what we do about it now. No, that is a public safety question; it is also a question of redemption or rehabilitation as well.

Learning causation is the first step in understanding the behavior. That understanding helps communicate with the individual miscreant. Hopefully this will lead to constructive conversations that will guide the person toward a more fulfilling life. That outcome would be good for him/her and for the rest of our society, too. After all is said and done, that is the desired outcome and we need to remain focused on it.

Punishment for the offensive behavior is not my field of interest. That is up to others who understand the mechanisms designed and in place to address punishment. My interest is in recovering the potential of the individual and helping him or her get onto the right road for the future.

That is a difficult task in the context of a society irate over the behavior in the first place. In my case, I have to separate the shock of the offense in order to find the ordered pathway forward. Constructive effort, you see. Always prefer constructive over complaint. Oh I get it; complaint is a phase of recovery by society over the shock of the offense. Complain is necessary. But so is recovery. That is what is lost in our nation, today.

Penal institutions specialize in separating offenders from the general society. During imprisonment, however, rehabilitation should be present in most of the activities designed for the prisoners. I’m sure a lot of this is in place, but I wonder how effective it is? Are the programs even followed? What are the outcomes?

Recidivism is the return to poor behavior. A repeating of the offense even after the punishment and rehabilitation. Recidivism is high in America. The outcomes of the penal system is poor. So something must be missing. What might that be?

I suggest it is effective rehabilitation programs. I also suggest the lack of such has much to do with poor budgets to support such programs, and that leads to a low attraction to the field for professionally trained people.

It cannot be easy dealing with offenders. But they are people and need to be treated as such. Give them respect and they may work hard to earn that respect for the future. That is a good beginning.

Discipline is both internal and external. The external is experienced as punishment. The internal is a badge of honor worn privately by the individual. If we expect ex-offenders to become model citizens, we must prepare them for the role. It will take time. it will take an investment to build a better life for them so they can build a better life within our communities.

They have damaged communities. They will continue to do so unless we help them reconstruct purposeful lives.

Question: are we actually doing this? And what investment level must be present to do so?

May 31, 2018

Border Families

No. This is not America. Not my America, anyway.

We love our families. We love our relationships. These are the core of all social order. We protect the individual and the family unit. Period. That is the way of our social order. Has been from the very beginning. And if we claim to be religious – Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, whatever… - we support both the individual and the family.

The two are inseparable. It is how our social order gets its order. We have kids and teach them, mold them, and enculturate them. Sometimes we get it wrong, but most of the time we produce some pretty great people out of all those kids! It is what makes America great.

Now we are supposed to believe that to deter immigrants from coming to our nation, we will separate parents from kids if their status is illegal. What happened to returning them as a family to a friendly country until they are processed into our nation? If they are refugees from an inhospitable country, of course we give them refuge. We will need to encamp them – house, feed, care for their medical needs – while they await processing. We have done this. We have a duty to do this. We cannot just dump them back to where they came from. In some of those countries, they would return to certain death.

Respect for human life is a fundamental cornerstone of our culture.

Making America Great Again evidently doesn’t get this basic value.

As a matter of fact – that is f a c t – all of us came from immigrant families coming to America. Each of us have these roots. We may be several generations away from our original forbears who entered America, but we are immigrant stock just the same.

Legal or illegal status has nothing to do with it.

Managing the masses of people who wish to enter our country is the primary issue. So ramp it up and manage them. We can do this. We rebuilt Europe after World War II. We can do this, too.

And in an age of terrorism, we can handle the complexity as well. It is not an excuse to lower ourselves to the status of the terrorist to protect our nation. That would be our abasement, and self-inflicted.

Take a deep breath and soldier on! We have work to do. Welcome the newcomers one and all. Manage their presence in our land. And filter out the trouble makers as best we can. For now, keep kids with parents.

It is the right thing to do. And we all know this fundamental.

Do it!

May 30, 2018

Trusting Politicians

A few years ago, I was checking out of the grocery line, when someone in line behind me recognized me from the city council. She muttered, ‘I don’t trust politicians.” I looked at her and smiled, and told her I didn’t feel like a politician. Is the definition of a pol someone who gets elected to a public office? If so, that puts negative shine on a lot of good people.

I think a politician is a person who tailors his public statements to what he thinks voters want to hear; then he votes on ordinances and legislative proposals in a way that will keep him safe in two opposing voter camps. I never figured out how to do that, so I guess I wasn’t a politician.

I also spoke out on the issues; wrote about them. Shared them in public spaces. If I had questions about a proposal or struggled to discern which decision would be best for the community, I shared that indecision as well.

Lumping everyone into a manipulative behavior merely because they have been elected to office, isn’t fair to the voter or the elected, in my opinion.

That was back in the early 2000’s; today in 2018, the mood is considerably different, most of all mine.

Guiliani is a politician with long credentials. He manipulated as Mayor of New York City, and afterward when he was a willing critic of any one or position.  He passed himself off as an expert without having the credentials. Oh sure, he had experience; and he had exposure to many issues, votes and whatnot, but when he was deeply questioned on issues, he lost his way and showed that he had another agenda he was supporting. That agenda was not always in the public’s interest.

Now, a private attorney, he springs up to help mr. trump. And he says anything he thinks will satisfy his boss, and be manipulative of public opinion centering on mr. trump. His latest bomb is an empty accusation that Obama knew there were FBI spies in the trump campaign. Nonsense. But he says it anyway because he doesn’t have to prove it. He just says it for whatever traction it gets.

Anything to purchase time and space for trump to weasel out of the narrowing path he has chosen to manipulate his power in the presidency.

By now it is very clear that trump and his non-professional colleagues are totally unaware of what they don’t know about government and how it works. They manage their affairs like public relations and marketing people trying to sell ice to an Eskimo. They are good at that role; but it is evident in government that they don’t know what they are doing. This is especially true in a free society with a free press.

That is why trump tries to discredit the press continually. It’s the distraction tactic. By now, however, most of us are on to him. He is sleazy. He hires sleaze to help him.

That’s truly sad. Sad for all of us. Even those who voted for him will lose. They don’t know that yet because they are too busy pretending they didn’t make a mistake in voting for him. Sad for us because of the time, effort and cost it will require to fix everything he has broken.

Especially broken and in need of repair, the word and reputation of America. What an awful waste of  time his presidency has caused. The only good thing about it is the instructive footnote to history books in the future on how the American political system is subject to idiocy when voters don’t study the facts before casting their vote.

Hopefully voters will partially correct this travesty in fall 2018 mid-term elections. With democrat control of the house and senate, the president may be cordoned off from doing further damage.

We can hope. And then impeach the guy. And prepare for a better slate of candidates who are dedicated to the long-term success of America and the global community.

May 29, 2018

On So Many Levels!

The current occupant of the White House is a total zero on many levels.

First, he communicates with the world and his nation via Twitter. This is an unsecured communication channel.

Second, he uses unsecured phones and email devices. This is precisely what he ranted on and on about Hillary. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. No missing emails, no breach of State Department security; never proven, just accused. Empty words from an empty talking head.

Third, he stumbles into complicated issues with many stakeholders involved and speaks without knowledge of the details. Whether this is domestic or international matters, delicate balances are undone. Our nation’s word is broken. Treaties are voided.

Fourth, he lies repeatedly. Most of the times these are little white lies made to look good, or soften the rough edges. The damage is done by being non-factual. Facts matter. Words matter. His stumble-bum manner is unprofessional and embarrassing to our nation.

Fifth, he repeatedly changes his message. He is a propaganda machine insisting on being believed when he is patently unbelievable.

Sixth, he changes agenda by the moment and presents opinion as both fact and policy. Neither is true. His whole demeanor is unreliable.

Seventh, he guards his own reputation as though what he wants it to be is in fact what it is. This does not reflect normal reality. He is living in a parallel universe.

Eighth, he is dangerous and destabilizing.

Ninth, the world deserves better. The World needs better.

Tenth, he is obstructing the process of law and the Department of Justice.

Each of these items is serious business. One or more or all together are impeachable offenses. What’s left doing is the articles of impeachment and then the trial before the Senate.

Let’s get to it before it is too late for a peace loving global community.

What are we waiting for?

May 28, 2018

This is why he must be removed from office.

May 27, 2018

Libtard or?

Or what? Yes, indeed. If someone calls you a libtard, what does that mean? Well the definition would include these elements:

·        First, this is an insult. Conservatives often use this term to deride the liberal ideology, and accuse such people as being mentally retarded, or else how could they conclude liberal ideology is superior to conservative?

·        Most often a libtard is viewed as someone who thinks government regulations are necessary and worthwhile; conservatives don’t believe this; they think government should be as small and unnoticeable as possible. They believe ‘markets’ are free and regulations reduce freedoms; in short they feel government rules interfere with freedom of citizens and free markets

·        Conservatives feel the smallest or least government is the best; anyone suspected of disagreeing on this is a ‘libtard’, which is close to socialist, communist… you get the picture!

That’s good for starters. There are some inconsistencies contained in the conservative rant, however. Among them are these:

·        Free markets are rare in any society. Government regulations are needed to restrict rampant greed among those who see themselves as holding monopoly power over a market. The 2007 recession was in response to failing real estate markets (bubbles of prices and demand), failure of the mortgage markets (internationally exported by America to the world banking system); near failure of the US banking system requiring a central government bailout of nearly $1 trillion. Many banks benefitted from the bailout; although their executives and lending managers were responsible for the debacle, no one in the banking community went to prison for their felonies.

·        In 1999 Congress and then President Clinton removed the Glass-Steagall Act; this had been enacted in response to the Great Depression in the 1930’s. It prohibited bankers owning real estate businesses, or investment firms; it prohibited investment firms from owning banks or real estate firms; and it banned real estate firms from owning investment firms or banks. Shortly after dissolving this Act, the banking/investment/mortgage/real estate industries went nuts and bought up each other. The recession resulted from that greed. And now republicans under trump are looking to do the very same thing – remove most banking restrictions and regulations (they just past a rollback of the 2009 regs this week).

·        Greed is the number one sin of mankind. In business this sin is the number primary reason for failure of businesses. Regulations keep people honest, or attempt to do so. Keep regulations intact, please!          

·        Government involvement in our lives is valuable and important. Not just in the business arena. Also in public safety and law enforcement arenas, too!            

·        And government is essential in international relations and diplomacy; these efforts build a peaceful global community and build cooperative powers to offset the threat of war. Mr. trump has been colossally unsuccessful in these matter so far. He has angered the global community and made peace less possible

·        Conservatives appear to be against most education unless it is vocational. However, liberal arts education is the core of all logic and academic disciplines. This is where math, engineering, science and most other technical disciplines come from. It is also the basis of law, governance, history, sociology, psychology and all the rest. Being against education is the first step for being FOR ignorance

More can be said here but I will close with this thought. Government ‘of, by and for the people’ is the form of democracy we have in America. It requires all of us to be involved and use our heads in deciding important matters. It does not work if masses of people withdraw from government involvement. In fact, citizen involvement is what makes the government accountable to the people. What is it with this simple logic that conservatives don’t understand?

I’m a peaceful person in search of meaning and peace in the world community. I care about other people. I hope they care about me whether they know me or not. That’s what every religion teaches from day one. Another simple matter? Evidently not!     

Help! We need to reach out and help each other, not fight one another. As Ellen says, ‘be kind to everyone.’     

May 25, 2018

Liberal vs Illiberal

These two terms were introduced in yesterday’s blog posting. Other points were also brought forward. I’ll start with today’s posting in addressing those points.

First of all, liberal I think refers to the academic term that includes a society that is primarily a democracy. There are full democracies and partial ones. The partial ones include government forms, protocols and procedures that reduce ‘pure’ democratic practices in favor of strong government regulations and restrictions. America is, in this sense, a liberal nation. Its form of government is primarily democratic. That means citizens are asked to vote for fellow citizens to fill positions of authority in order to manage and govern the nation, its states, counties and municipalities.

American voters are also asked to give their support or opposition to changes to the Constitution, the document that spells out much of our contract of governance between the people and its chosen form of government. The public also provides input on key issues and whether a government authority ought to have authority over an issue in a particular manner. Uncontrolled gambling is one such form. Abortion rights is another. And many others.

American democracy includes a vibrant free and open press that has authority to investigate every nook and cranny of our social order. Free and open debate, discussion and writing on all of these issues is encouraged and engaged. Sometimes these discussions are rowdy; also news reporting gets a bit pushy!

Some nations label themselves a democracy but the central government actually retains the authority over the people. Such nations are not democratic, but illiberal and centrally controlled.

Russia has a long history of this form of governance. So too, China.

There are also smaller nations with tyrannical leadership. Usually these are power and wealth building for the ‘supreme leader.’ Or their chosen elites. Violence is a key feature of such nations. Opposing views are controlled and those who stubbornly persist in opposition usually are removed from public view. Such removal may be imprisonment (temporary or permanent), or death. History is filled with such societies. There are several alive and functioning today.

Illiberal is not the same thing as conservative. In a democratic society opposing views are welcome and fully discussed. If incivility is encouraged as a tactic to dampen opposition in a democracy, the liberal label is weakened, and the illiberal label is strengthened within that society. Propaganda becomes a norm in illiberal societies. We see that in Russia currently; we see similar activity in China, especially in the past. We are now seeing it in America.

Conservative and liberal ideologies active in a democracy such as the American model, are not the same thing as liberal or illiberal. The latter two terms are to be used in the academic sense. The former two terms are political ideologies worth discussing currently.

American debate of these two terms have become polarized in recent years. I feel this is not a good thing. The spirited discussions have become less civil and much more heated. An example:

Conservative is now becoming known for being anti-communist. Liberal is accused of being socialist at the least, and communist at the worst. Neither label is accurate, however. This is precisely what needs to be discussed. The conversation must be open, accepting and dedicated to understanding other voices in the room. I have been accused of being liberal. I am actually centrist in my ideology. Some people, however, do not accept such terms. They are more absolutist in nature – either you are dedicated to the democratic ideal where government authority resides in the hands of the people, or you are a detractor of democracy. 

Of course I repudiate this accusation. Government authority taken too far on either end of the dimension, is either fascist or communist. I favor neither. But I do favor reasonable regulations to counter natural human proclivity toward greed. A balanced position would include both liberal and conservative view points. Compromise will make this happen; indeed, it has made it happen for centuries.

Rather than maintaining a purely liberal governance structure, individual motivation and risk/reward behavior is to be encouraged. However, uncontrolled freedom for some must be countered by reasonable rules and regulations. Adjusting those regulations will be a continual process to make certain they do not overreach or lack effectiveness.

The world stage is a good viewing point for liberal and illiberal nations. It must not be confused, however, with liberal and conservative. That construct is within the nation and among its citizens.

When and where do we begin dialog on these matters? Surely, I am not the only person concerned with this issue?

May 24, 2018

State of the World

I have some thoughts to share. The following are stirred by recent readings.

1.      Liberal governance is an academic term; what is its full meaning?

2.      Illiberal governance is also an academic term; what is its full meaning?

3.      Which is America – a liberal form of government, or an illiberal one? 

4.      The term ‘libtard’ is a pejorative indicating negative shade against those who are educated, involved, altruistic, religious and supportive of an involved government – of, for and  by the people

5.      Those who toss out the term libtard to others are most likely ‘illiberal’ people who do not support strong central government? This needs clarification and articulation.

6.      China and Russia are illiberal in the sense that they are centrally controlled government societies. The people are told they have voice and authority, but they do not; only the ruling elites have such authority. Control is absolute; dissidents are killed or imprisoned; they are silenced and not allowed to participate. This includes educated and academic persons.

7.      Free market economies are considered liberal; but the truth of the matter is that free markets are truly rare. Most markets are controlled by regulations and laws. Should they be?

8.      Regulations in liberal societies are distrusted by the conservatives; a movement is currently underway in America to remove much regulation and ‘simplify’ market operations. This is the central nut of the illiberal movement. Eliminate regulation so markets and freedom of action are restored; no government control of them. Problems result when greed and natural human behaviors take over the markets and distort market results; millions of people are hurt by such markets, and only a few benefit. This is feeding the greedy more wealth at the expense of the many. As a society we need to discuss this and decide what we would rather have.

9.      Liberal and conservative are two terms that are in disarray today because the liberal and illiberal government movements appear to overlap the first two terms. Propaganda further distorts the issues.

10.   The pendulum of history and social movements is consistent and constant. We experience the arc motion with momentary results that seem to be long lasting; that is our immediate experience, not the time worn result. We need to see these things via different lenses to understand them better.

We need to clarify all of these if we are to have a public discussion of any value.

Having said this, when do we start? By what rules of engagement do we recognize in order to maintain civil and worthwhile discussion? I have suggested moderated discussion groups of 50 or fewer on a weekly basis in church settings. There are people who dislike the suggested setting as inappropriate or already value oriented steering the discussion. It doesn’t have to be like that; discipline will keep it amiable and fruitful for those with differing opinions. But if the setting is still feared, where then are alternative sites?  The public library? City Hall? A local school?  I am open to suggestions.

Of course, who organizes this is important. Who is trusted to moderate the discussions? Who is entrusted with scheduling the topics and speakers? Who in the community would willingly step forward to support this effort?

I’m willing. A party of one, however, will not work. Who else will volunteer? And who decides which volunteers may be inappropriate for the group leadership?

Please let me know either by email (saffordcu@gmail.com) or Facebook response, or comment via the blog site. All inputs are welcome. Reminder: please be civil. “We reap what we sow.”

May 23, 2018

The War Within

Each of us does battle with many demons over the years. I could discuss this point in many ways in this post, but I won’t because I wish to discuss another battle within.

That war is within our own national soul.

Who we are as a nation is special. One must return to history books to rekindle the story of how and why we became special. It has a lot to do with soul – the down and dirty ‘being’ of each and every one of us. That’s the kind of soul I’m speaking of. What makes you and I specifically who we are. The inner soul of feeling, knowing, and behaving in consonance with all of those elements. Why do we toil so hard to keep the house, the yard, the job, the car, the family, the whatever? Why do we dirty our hands to get things accomplished? What is the motivation to do all of that?

Many times I’ve reach what I thought was my limit of labor or tiredness or pain and ache, only to keep going toward the end of the specific goal. The end of a very long day? The arduous task of cleaning out a heavily stashed garage? Cleaning out the basement for some better cause? Or working at the church on a project that takes days to complete? When will it be over? When will we rest? When can we take notice of our accomplishment and feel complete?

Somehow we continue on until the task is truly done. Now we can rest. Now we can breathe deeply. Now home to bed and rest after a long hot shower.

I recall such feelings. Do you? And how many of you continue to labor on this way even today? I know of one strong-willed lady in town who continues to do the public’s gardening in spite of her 90-years of age. A retired teacher who understands community and shared labor to cement that community. A retired teacher, long-term mayor, and activist for so many causes in town, she continues in elder years her passion for public work.

Transparent work it is. A task to be done and seen. For all to see. And for the doer to feel good about. We all benefit from this gift of sharing. It is labor, but it is also passion, purpose and vision of something better for all of us.

So much of this type of sharing is done daily, hourly, each minute. Voluntarily given. It is natural to so many to live this way.

Yet among us are those who don’t get it. They live for themselves, focused on their own needs.

We even see this among elected officials; not all, but far too many. ‘What’s in it for me?”, they ask, when the job they were elected to do gives them options to get something for themselves. Even trump lying continually in his tweets, making propaganda and spinning events his way, not factually.

This is the ‘war within’ I speak of. Our nation is waging this war within our own selves, as well as among each other. Who we are as a people has long been established. What is evident today is a growing throng of self-centered people who have forgotten the common ground from which we all come. We owe that common ground a lot of credit for who we are; we are not owed by the common ground for something only we can benefit from.

One celebrates community; the other celebrates self. Which nation would you want to be part of? The former or the latter? Each day we wonder anew if we even have a choice over this.

How did we get to this condition?

May 22, 2018

Knowing Stuff

You know stuff. I know stuff. We all know a lot of stuff. What that stuff is and what is good and useful, is one thing; the other side of that equation is what stuff is not worth saving.

I’m not talking about junk stashed in the attic or basement, or (gasp!) the garage. Nope. I’m speaking of the stuff that makes us knowledgeable. Something learned from living life. Something we do something with to draw other conclusions, or make something.

A scrap of wood, a nail or two, and suddenly a shelf is born. Or a lamp, a tool, or piece of art.

Something tangible from simply living life. Experiences. A happening. The result noticed by the self. And then taken to another point of development later.

Doctors do this in their medical careers. It is why it is termed a ‘practice’. They learn by doing. By making deductions from available facts, they make diagnoses of illness and disease. From that they devise treatments to hopefully solve the problem. They learn from those results what works and what doesn’t. eventually they encounter many different causes of the same set of symptoms and learn how to discern differences among cases and prescribe different treatments to best ease the symptoms and conquer the disease. Practice, you see. It makes the doctor’s career a bit more perfect.

Scientists in a laboratory work a process similar to that of a doctor. Only now the ‘symptoms’ are test cases of biological matter and what chemicals or other external stimuli have an effect on the matter and its ‘symptoms’. Working successive chains of tests with small differences among them help the researcher learn more about both the matter and the disease; and what might work long-term in controlling the disease and matter issues.

Physicists do similar research tests in their labs. So too, the engineer. And all the rest of the science disciplines.

In business, career people follow their own formulas of success. Those with fresh ideas and deep commitment, try other ways to succeed in business. Those who experiment find both success and failure; but it is the succession of attempts at new methods that soon inform the courageous person what works and what doesn’t. Examining notes of both the attempts and the results should yield some information that offers predictable results. New things are found only through trying different things for different results. Doing the same thing over and over again will likely produce the same old thing.

It is the new things we want to learn. This is the ‘stuff’ referred to at the beginning of this essay. Stuff like this is worth sharing with others.

Teachers share stuff with students. In time the learning process will hopefully motivate students to recognize moments of learning on their own. Do this enough times and they become self-motivated learners. They are set for a life of discovery.

Those of us who are retired after many years of living life and earning a living, have much to share with those who have not yet learned their stuff. We can shorten the cycle of stuff sharing. Will this empower the younger people to seek more stuff and share it as well? We do not know this; we can’t even predict this. Sharing depends on other social and psychological gifts within the person. They may share freely or they may retain for their own use the stuff they learn.

In time we can only hope that they will evolve into coaches, mentors and teachers to others so those new generations can carry on to discover more and enrich more lives.

The stuff we know is sharable. In fact, its truest value is uncovered by sharing. We learn more about our stuff this way. We also help others achieve more stuff.

Stuff. It’s good. Savor it and nurture it in others.

You’ll be glad you did. So will the rest of us.

May 21, 2018

Friday, Blessed Friday!

I write this before this morning’s early doctor’s appointment. The catheter is to be removed this morning. Last Monday was the day this was supposed to have been done, but no; so meds and three days later the new appointment was set. That is today, the 17^th of May. This post is for Friday the 18^th.

Today, Friday, marks the end of a two week period in which the catheter has been a routine of my life. Not a pleasant experience. Feeling very exposed and vulnerable. Not in a good way.

I know I am not the only person to have undergone this procedure. I know this is done with women and men. Somehow, it seems more personal to me. That’s probably because I’m a wuss.

Standing. Sitting. Moving a few feet. Getting in and out of the tub-shower. Stepping up one stair tread? Yikes. Please don’t ask me to do that again. Not with this thing in me.

I know this post is pretty personal. I’ll keep it clean, though. This is not about the specific malady, but rather the sense of vulnerability and helplessness I have felt for 2 weeks. The experience helps me understand how others feel helpless.

Some time back our pastor delivered sermons on vulnerability. I got it then. More so, now.

I have created a daily blog; that makes me vulnerable to what others think and the actions they may take in response. I post often to Facebook, same vulnerability. A group of four of us created the local newspaper and ran it for 7 years. That was a very vulnerable enterprise – both financially and personally for accountability of reporting facts and details that many people didn’t want exposed to public consumption.

I ran a consulting business for about 20 years. Being exposed to endless problems of clients and being expected to do something about those problems, was an exposure to vulnerability. Heck, just being a husband and father makes for vulnerability.

The truth of the matter is this: vulnerability sensitizes the person to what is happening and what may happen soon as a result of being vulnerable. Such are learning moments. We learn more about ourselves, others and the ways of the world in such times.

I’ve led a vulnerable life. I’ve learned a lot of things. I’ve shared much of that with a lot of you, readers of this blog. Whether the lessons are great or small, valuable or not, remains to be seen. Time will tell. Meanwhile, I live each day knowing that I’ve actively tried not to hide.

That alone is a good lesson for self. And humility.

Humility is a lesson hard won, as well. Never certain when it is truly learned, though. Another lesson to learn? Vulnerability and humility are in lock-step? That's something to think about.

Oh yes; the procedure this morning was successful! Free. Free at last! A smile is now the norm. The sun is shining. The air smells sweet. And I can drive again! And walk. 

Wow! Such a good feeling.

May 18, 2018

Making Lists

I’m not sure my adult kids will remember this, but I often rose early each morning and worked at the dinette table reading the newspaper, sorting through bills, checking my chore list, and all that. On Saturdays and Sundays, I often created lists of things to do, and things to shop for and purchase. Some days I even created lists of things I would do if I had an extra $100,000! You know, if I won the lottery, what would I do with the cash?

Sometimes life is complex and overwhelming. Demands far outweigh the supply of time, money or other resources to properly address them all. So, organizing and prioritizing such demands was an easy trick for me. It helped me cope with the impossible. It also helped me understand that all things do not get properly addressed. That’s life. A lot of things go unaddressed. Simple. A coping skill.

Did you work up such lists?  Let’s see if I can remember: new gutters and downspouts; repair sidewalks out front; repave driveway; new furnace? What about central air conditioning? And don’t forget the new brakes and tires for the car. I’d go back and price each item on the list. Then with a flourish total the whole mess up! Wow! Really? $18,000 for all of that?

Well, the balloon was popped, the crossword puzzle was completed, and the real day began.

Later, much later, those lists remained but in shorter form. Much more doable. And they helped me stay realistic. Gone were the grand home additions, the world trips, and owning my own business large enough to employ the kids and their then families. Now, we planned short vacations, tagged approaching auto maintenance items of significance, and maybe a movie I’d like to see.

Lists. I developed a keen ability to make lists. Used them in my consulting days, too; mostly with clients as we worked our way through their strategic planning issues. Lists; they help break down complex projects; they help prioritize what is more important, which less so. Yes lists. They have kept me organized and realistic.

And prepared. For whatever is coming next, or should.

You? How do you handle this sort of thing? Surely I’m not the only list maker?

May 17, 2018

Middle East Peace

Decades have now passed by without peace in the Middle East. So many factions scrambling for their own piece of the world; it is where they live and have roots for thousands of years; and influence, too! Maybe the latter is the ultimate goal anyway?

Compromises have been made to save lives and to build trust. Over time lives are lost. Trust evaporates. Over and over again. Each change in context of any issue shifts the burdens of discussion and compromise. Kaleidoscopic processes have not yielded the goal of peace.

Trouble is – too many trying to be placated at the same time. Only God could unscramble this mess. And Jerusalem remains the bone of contention for the three religions in the region. And three primary religions of the globe. The three creeds that proclaim love and peace, continue being at odds with each other. Maybe the elders get along with other religious elders, but followers don’t. The result: peace remains ungrasped.

Ungrasped. A good word. Something reached for but left not touched.

Here are some ideas to work on in the Middle East; maybe these can push peace processes to fresh tactics?:

1.      America, get off the oil standard and do not prop up oil prices globally

2.      Renewable energy grasped in a fast-moving technology; do it; watch peace break out in the Middle East; as the world demand for oil declines so will power and influence in the region; then they will be faced with just who they are, and their histories

3.      Do not prop up Israel’s budget or military strength; they are pursuing their own destiny separate from all other regional nations; they do not compromise enough, or soon enough, to make a difference in the desired outcomes

4.      Propose a UN program to share Middle Eastern governance of Gaza, Golan Heights and Israel plus a 100 mile radius boundary around that territory. Peace will have to come from those sharing the governance authority. Cooperation and collaboration will become a must- have to all if any stability is to happen

5.      UN to police the agreement in #4, above; violators will be subject to global sanctions designed to hurt/maim violator’s economy

6.      America to sell as much oil as we have to destroy the global price of oil; all oil producers will have to learn to cooperate if they are to prosper

I wish it were simpler to bring peace to this region. However, the region has been violent from the beginning of recorded history. Violent rule. Usurpation of national identity. Imposition of religions. Plunder of wealth and subjugation of vanquished peoples. Over and over again. Perhaps they are ungovernable? I doubt that. But they are not easily disciplined to seek peace and avoid violence.

As much as I dislike and distrust mr. trump, starting from scratch in the Middle East may be the only means to find peace.

May 16, 2018

Getting a Bearing on the Future?

A heady title – Getting a Bearing on the Future. Not sure anyone can do this well, certainly do that and articulate it to others. What meaning is intended and what ends up being communicated clearly are most likely quite different outcomes. That’s the trouble with writing, thinking, communicating. Some readers will think I’m writing in code; some of those readers will be reading in their own code. What meaning they get out of my writing is entirely different from what I set out to do. But then, they came to the task with their own agenda and filters.

I set out writing this blog so I could clear out my brain’s attic of thoughts, random as well as organized. They were all crowded up in there. Lots of dust, mismatched pairs of thoughts, and other hand-me-downs one finds in an attic. Clearing them out was not easy. It took much longer than I had planned. I’m not sure that chore is done or even close to being done! Such is the nature of storehouses of memories, thoughts, and understandings held from days long ago.

What ideas trigger the avalanche of memory? Is this tumbling of thoughts even accurately recalled? Remind yourself that ideas are wedded to context; are we truly remembering such contexts well? And then again, pulled from context, an idea often takes on a different dynamic when paired with a fresh context. Something happens and a different meaning pops into being. It is a discovery of sorts. It jangles the brain into a different operation of logic. Something new may be forming from this juxtaposition of elements.

Memoirs, biographies, auto-biographies, and character profiles are of a different sort. They share the latter-day culling, however, in an attempt to make fresh sense of something held in memory. Is it a fresh meaning? Or is it an accidental matching-up without sense, thus a bastardization capable of misleading? Sorting such dead ends becomes necessary if we are being honest with logic.

At some point though, I become impatient with where things are going currently; I wish for better behaviors from others in society, especially politicians portending to speak for all of us. I watch institutions receive mixed signals on their actions and progress, and wonder how they will fare with their public and beneficiaries. Will the patients, students, patrons of the institution get what they need to be the best they can be whatever their given situations?

Who loses out if such institutions are held back in their professional roles and achievements? Will the library continue to gather and dispel information and data to those who can make use of it? Will new ideas be supported and inventions, too? Will sciences develop toward long-sought-after solutions to mysteries in need of solving for the good of us all? Saving some money here and there results in what outcomes that minimize life for the rest of us? What are the dependencies of such things? What are the mutual relevancies we rely on? And why are they there in the first place?

Because many things in life require broader approaches to managing them or creating new opportunities from which we all benefit.

That is the very nature of public institutions – libraries, fire districts, police departments, schools, park districts, charities, counseling services for families and children of low income. A town government that manages water, sewer and storm water issues; also streets, public order and the aesthetics of a village.

Our communities are the result of many separate organizations – some public, some private, many voluntary. And all of them are dependent on individuals who have dedication and passion for the purposes of the organization with which they attach themselves. Community. Interdependent and dynamic. Magically reaching out to make things better than they were before. Always looking for need and purpose. Keeping busy interacting and doing the tasks that only become evident when we begin talking with one another and expressing our needs and ideas.

If our public discussion is uncivil, it cuts off communication. It shuts down sharing ideas. It destroys the willingness to cooperate and collaborate. Many hands make light the work; so too, many minds make workable solutions to common problems.

It is in our interest to seek community and make it whole. Identify the elements that sap the community’s strength and wholeness; then do something about it.

A nation is the sum of all its communities. If each is healthy the nation is, too. If our communities are suffering, then too, our nation suffers.

We are reminded that all politics is local. How very true that is! What does that tell us of our future heading?

May 15, 2018

Love and Racism

I’ve been receiving some feedback from Facebook friends and yes, some of my blog followers. There is evidence of a divide growing among a lot of people based solely on racism. At least it sounds like that bold of a line. Hideous, isn’t it? Racism. The very word is nasty.

With Black History Month (February) behind us, refreshed in our memories are the horrible acts white Americans perpetuated against black Americans in past times. Discrimination is one thing - the slights, sneers, snubs and cold shoulders turned against another human being. Far worse things were done, however. Lynching, dragging behind a car or truck down an unpaved road and burning alive were some of the deeds done against black men and women. Mutilation while alive was another. And all of these acts were done in front of a rowdy audience. A side-show mentality quickly developed and attracted even more witnesses.

There are narratives that attempt to legitimize these horrors as ‘just results’ for criminal actions. Most of those actions were imagined, not real. Looking at a white woman with lust was thought to be suitable reason for a lynching. Who can tell what lust is in a 'look'? What was the motive of the person reporting the incident?

That’s history. But today we are seeing stirrings of similar injustices. Police shootings of black citizens is evidence of something going horribly wrong. Yes, the business of policing communities is fraught with danger and risk; I understand the charged emotions of police officers as they enter a ‘hot zone’ of criminal activity and suspicion. Did the officers overreact to a situation? Was the shooting justified?

Most of us will never know for certain. What I do know for certain is the distrust of our black brethren for police and the white community.

Lynching was in the old days; today it is a police shooting. Same result; the cause unjust. Certainly totally out of proportion to the wrong doing under suspicion.

These are difficult issues to adjudicate on site. They are almost impossible to fully understand. But distrust is believable and palpable. Discrimination is the root cause: someone feels superior to someone else and blames them for whatever is wrong in their life.

As a gay man I know what discrimination is. I have felt it. I’ve had it slam me in the face (not literally). Rude behavior and ridiculous verbal exhortations. Ignorant and unfeeling. Yes, I know what discrimination is like and I feel for anyone who is the target of it.

Women are discriminated against, too. We all know this. Yes, it is polite and subtle at times, but the result is abasing and unfair treatment. Imagine being a black woman! Or a black gay man or woman! The discrimination just keeps heaping up against all those considered inferior.

Of course, the root of discrimination is a false sense of superiority. It is the opposite of love. It goes against our grain of fairness but also against the first commandment of just about every religion: Love your God with all of your heart, and your neighbor as yourself.

It takes humility to love another. It takes humility to love oneself. It take humility to love. Period.

Work on that and maybe we will mark progress against racism.

The thing that horrifies me the most is this: our communities are ours to build and live in. We own them. We make them whatever they will be. If it is a community of racism, it is a failed community. The very definition of community is stripped away.

Racism and discrimination of any kind is an ugly open sore on the face of every community in which it resides. Think about that for a long moment. Is that what we want America to be all about?

I doubt it.

We have a lot of work to do, folks. Discrimination must be eradicated wherever it is. It starts with recognizing it and teaching people love and acceptance. Racism may stem from feelings of superiority, but superiority is the blemish that damns the owner of it.

May 14, 2018

Long View

I’ve been thinking of this a long time – The Long View. What do I mean by that?

Perspective is one word that comes to mind. Balanced outlook is another phrase that partially describes my thought. Big picture view is another, the kind of scenic vista that includes all the moving parts that make up the scene. The view. The widest, deepest, longest view.

When I first moved to Chicago, I had to learn to drive on crowded expressways. Bumper to bumper traffic all attempting to go 50 miles per hour. Hopeless. Strangled and jammed up. When we did get up to a smooth travel speed of 30 or 35 mph, we did so tailgating the car before us. That made for anxiety every time a brake light flashed. Stop and go, squealing of tires, frayed nerves and tired drivers. And accidents.

A while later I learned to drive at least 2 car lengths behind the car in front. It allowed reaction time to brake lights and the stop and go tempo of the traffic. Over time I used my brakes less and coasted to keep the line of traffic moving, even if at a snail’s pace.

When speeds grew, I lengthened my interval from the car ahead and learned to ‘drive through their windshield’. This method allowed me to see ahead a few car lengths and anticipate stoppages and slowdowns. Later in the trip I noticed gripping the steering wheel more lightly and corrections to steering were less and less. The ride became smoother.

I watched barge traffic on the Mississippi River one day and noticed tug captains anticipating their curves by turning their barges before the curve; in smooth arcs the boat traffic navigated the river knowing the shifting currents and changes in river bank turns. It’s a lot like driving a jammed expressway in rush hour – anticipate maneuvers in advance and begin the actions. Result: smoother ride, less stop and go, and a more relaxed drive.

So too our journey in life. Focusing on the longer view lowers the anxiety of the short-term troubles encountered. Keeping an eye on the troubles only serves to distract us from the long-term objective. The journey’s ride becomes rough and turbulent.

Use this metaphor to understand and navigate modern day troubles. Some examples:

-        Career education; where am I going? Where am I headed? What should I study and prepare for?

-        What kind of house should I prepare to buy? What are my immediate housing needs, and what will those look like in 5 or 10 years? Will I need 2 bedrooms or 5? How many people will live in the family?

-        What car should I buy? Large or small, sedan or coupe, SUV or truck? Depends on the short and long-term needs, right?

-        What kind of community should I choose to live in? what kind of spirit do I hope is present among the people of that community?

-        What outcomes of government operations do I wish for? Independent living of the people, freedom to choose and live the way that is best for me? A place that will support the kids of the town and educate them well and fairly?

Travel down this road very far and I begin to realize my interdependence on others; and them on me. Life is not lived in isolation. It is communal in many ways. We share time, ideas, laughter and inspiration with one another. We share community. We are part of it and it is part of us.

The good, the bad, the ugly are all part of this very same community. We don’t choose those things or eliminate them. They are part of the landscape. We live with them and through them. They do the same in return.

The political environment of 2018 includes much we do not like. It is a mutual dislike. An uneasy peace. It is to be navigated like the rush hour traffic. People you don’t know are drivers in the same sea of humanity. I rely on their judgments just as they must rely on mine. Like it or not, we are in the same situation and must rely on this instant community to survive the experience.

The long view includes all the moving parts of the community. Known or unknown those parts are the challenges we must abide and survive, as well as we can.

In time this experience will toughen us and give us strength. In time the long view will pull us through to the desired outcome. Where are we going? What outcome are we wishing for? What values do we live by and cherish along the way so we still have them at the destination? All good questions. All with helpful answers.

So, Trump supporter or not, we are each other’s neighbors. Best we remember this for the long view. The destination will arrive sooner or later. But will the journey have been worth the travel?

May 11, 2018

High on a Hill

High. On a hill. A lofty place. Up with the birds, blue sky and tree tops. A place of airiness and perspective. Not a place to look down from on others, but a place to gain a larger view of the world around me.

As a youth I grew up on the foothills of the San Gabriel Mountains in southern California. Just below the Mount Wilson Observatory; a large ‘W’ was cleared from the pine forest, and the ground cover chalked white. That ‘W’ was visible for miles and miles; on TV, when watching the Rose Parade or the Rose Bowl, we longingly sought out camera shots of the ‘W’ and say, “that’s near where we lived.”

Mount Wilson was maybe 6000 feet high, maybe a bit more, but in the grand scheme of the Rockies, that is just a hill. Still, Sunday drives took us up into the mountains. We would look out toward the ocean; even on smoggy days we could tell where land ended and ocean began. But on a clear day (rare in those days!), we could see Santa Catalina Island. And all was good. In the world.

Of more importance to me was the vista on the world from that perch. We could see the mountain ranges more clearly, we counted trees nearby, but gave up for the long view. Tens of thousands of trees? Or maybe millions? A forest, nonetheless, and a reminder that we were surrounded by nature. Wonderful. Aromatic. Fresh. Airy and free.

Yes, we could look down from the mountain and spot towns and cities. Couldn’t make much sense of it, of course; much too complicated. And at my young age, I didn’t truly know where I was anyway.

But the altitude gave us the big picture view of the world. It was good. It was fulfilling. And it was thought provoking. We were small like flies on a wall. Not superior or all-knowing. Just high up and able to see things.

Even today I welcome a higher view of things; not always possible in a flat place like Illinois. Of course, there is the Sears Tower downtown Chicago; but that is a view on others, their cars, their buildings, somehow much too close to be a world view like from a mountain top.

I wonder how others view this, too. Do they see this as the chance to spy on other lives? Or to feel superior to them? Or do they seek a higher perch to see beyond their current horizons?

See beyond. Current horizons. Our boundaries of understanding and knowledge. Our limits to culture and place. How many of us seek to see beyond? Are we reaching? Are we even curious? Are we excited by the prospect of discovery? Of finding out something new and fresh that makes our lives fuller and more meaningful?

I wonder about that. In this time of introspection and blaming others, are we seeking the right answers to our problems? Or are we even seeking answers?

Perhaps that is a question worth pondering. And answering.

May 10, 2018

Gloating Over Shared Troubles

Shocking that the Attorney General of the State of New York resigns over accusations of sexual abuse. A support of the #MeToo movement, as well. Sad. Not proven guilty yet, but then, four women have come forward; all had consensual sex with the man; none consented for the violence, however. And that’s the point.

Trump and his supports are reveling in this. They ought not to. Here’s why.

Democrats – at least those not professing to be conservatives and social prigs – at least admit to their derelictions and resign from their positions. Al Franken for one. Other’s as well. The real question, is why not trump? You see, the similar allegations have been made against him as well as other derelictions of personal taste in the sexual practices department. He shrugs it off. Says it is false. Prove it. And moves on. Bully role again and again. He does what he wants without considering the consequences. And his supporters applaud this.

The difference between the two parties appears clearer with the passing days. No one claimed democrats are purer than republicans. But democrats at least speak up for the Every Woman and Every Man. This is our national community we are partners with. We own this society for good or for ill. Either we stand up for what’s right, or the wrong will suffocate us all regardless of guilt.

No political party has all the answers. No political party causes all the problems. Neither does the nation and its culture belong to one party. It belongs to all of us and we need to take responsibility for that fact.

What I believe and what you believe may be different; but we have to accept that dichotomy and live our lives just the same. You have no right to squash me and my beliefs; same for me; I don’t have those rights, either.

So, with those ground rules starkly stated, what do we do? Do we continue to scream at each other and toss negative shade on the others? Or do we act politely and cooperate with one another. That’s the basis of peace. Not forgetting or giving in; but coexisting. Peacefully. With our minds and brains intact. Still free in our country to think, act and be what we think is best. All the while we do not reach out to silence or harm those who do not agree with us.

Speak civilly with one another. Seek common grounds upon which we agree. Work together on common issues that need our cooperation. And collaboration. This will not be easy. But it should not be ignored, either. There is much work to do and we all share the tasks. Work with those you are comfortable with; avoid those you dislike. Allow others to deal with tougher issues. Maybe they can get something done.

While trump supporters revel in shared dirt of mankind, better they consider what they can do to clean up their own backyard while they have the opportunity. They may find themselves on the other end of the reveling one day. Not a nice prospect, but natural, don’t you know?

May 9, 2018

Living with Add-ons

Well, not exactly add-ons like a prosthesis leg, foot or arm. More like an attachment for additional anatomical support. Permanent or temporary. And yes I have such a temporary attachment – an old man’s catheter and designer bag in tandem.

Before my shower this morning, I weighed in to see if the retained yuck was weighty. At the clinic Saturday afternoon, they drew off a huge retention pool; my current bag is doing its job. Weight dropped 8 pounds.

This raises a biological research question: what is the relative weight of crap versus piss?

I know; this may be sensitive to some, but factual understanding is sought here. Anyone have any data?

I’m not sure if retained solids is an issue, but the deterrence factor of wearing a bag does tend to restrict one’s urgings. Just saying.

Meantime, my accompanying sore throat, post nasal drip, congested voice box and upper bronchial tube, suggests bronchitis is on the way. So far coughing has kept things clear and also stirred the lower regions to action. We shall see where this leads.

Some will say that writing about such matters is done in poor taste. I tend to agree, but there is a counter argument. That one goes like this: what is it like to wear a catheter and bag for a week or so? I had never encountered this situation, although I have given it some thought. As you approach 75 such matters matter.

So, I cancelled a bunch of appointments and honestly stated the reason why. So far I have received replies which resonate with similar experiences. Even had one fellow who warned of the coming prostate exam and suspicion of evil doings. So I have that ahead of me, but the fellow also said he had prostate surgery so knows the whole score. In short, I have found a support group from the very people I already know!

All this in the day of Facebook, Blogs and other electronic communications. Who’d have thought such 10 years ago?

I must admit this has made the current problem bearable and the source of much humor. Yes, humor. If we can’t laugh at such happenings, I’d say we were poor sports indeed.

Now to find a new rhythm of daily functioning until all of this is behind me. That would be Monday the 14^th, unless of course, something else is discovered. Oh well; no one said aging would be easy. It just takes a little courage and a lot of humor.

See you here tomorrow!

May 8, 2018

Helping things get Better

I write a blog so my brain can handle complex issues while news media endlessly reports broad problems in the nation. Political discourse is often vile; although this is understandable, it is still unpleasant to weather.

Some people simply treat those who don’t agree with them as though they are mentally defective. Their language is demeaning. It is also insulting intentionally. They feel free to act this way but they do more harm to themselves. Others will not treat them with the same respect as before if they observe them acting unfairly and nastily.

Social media makes all things more present and instant. That is not license, however, to be rude. Incivility attracts more incivility. The conversation goes nowhere. Worse, it wastes time, effort and contacts.

Attention turns to positive matters. The church has a project in need of volunteers; the outcomes are worthy and the hand goes up. A new client signs on to SCORE and I gladly take the case. SCORE workshops often seek partner mentors for students enrolled in the class. Again, the assignment is accepted. A young fellow is addicted to alcohol; his family and I attempt to steer him to detox; it works; he enrolls for 30 days. He ‘graduated’ Friday and we brought him home. Now it is him against the world outside the protection of the rehab center. He is scared. He worries. We calm him down. We leave him for his first time home alone in a month. We have our fingers crossed; I suspect so does he! We continue to counsel teen drug addicts on Wednesday evening. They are varied in their demeanor and attitudes. Sometimes they are open to our work; other times not so much. This is a hard week; too many absent; only one is present and her case is mostly emotional and needs other caregiving attention. Not ours.

Other opportunities pop up to study, read, write and think of untried solutions. We do this. It tests the brain. And personal resolve. The work is needed; can I do it? Enough so to make a difference? Time will tell; meanwhile we say yes and learn more. We stretch our boundaries. A little each day. It feels good.

The good balances the bad surrounding us. It is a counterpoint of possibility. Rewarding in the face of doing nothing and being helpless.

The nasty rejoinders and political noise can be ignored for now. We have more important work to do.

May 7, 2018