Friday, Blessed Friday!

I write this before this morning’s early doctor’s appointment. The catheter is to be removed this morning. Last Monday was the day this was supposed to have been done, but no; so meds and three days later the new appointment was set. That is today, the 17^th of May. This post is for Friday the 18^th.

Today, Friday, marks the end of a two week period in which the catheter has been a routine of my life. Not a pleasant experience. Feeling very exposed and vulnerable. Not in a good way.

I know I am not the only person to have undergone this procedure. I know this is done with women and men. Somehow, it seems more personal to me. That’s probably because I’m a wuss.

Standing. Sitting. Moving a few feet. Getting in and out of the tub-shower. Stepping up one stair tread? Yikes. Please don’t ask me to do that again. Not with this thing in me.

I know this post is pretty personal. I’ll keep it clean, though. This is not about the specific malady, but rather the sense of vulnerability and helplessness I have felt for 2 weeks. The experience helps me understand how others feel helpless.

Some time back our pastor delivered sermons on vulnerability. I got it then. More so, now.

I have created a daily blog; that makes me vulnerable to what others think and the actions they may take in response. I post often to Facebook, same vulnerability. A group of four of us created the local newspaper and ran it for 7 years. That was a very vulnerable enterprise – both financially and personally for accountability of reporting facts and details that many people didn’t want exposed to public consumption.

I ran a consulting business for about 20 years. Being exposed to endless problems of clients and being expected to do something about those problems, was an exposure to vulnerability. Heck, just being a husband and father makes for vulnerability.

The truth of the matter is this: vulnerability sensitizes the person to what is happening and what may happen soon as a result of being vulnerable. Such are learning moments. We learn more about ourselves, others and the ways of the world in such times.

I’ve led a vulnerable life. I’ve learned a lot of things. I’ve shared much of that with a lot of you, readers of this blog. Whether the lessons are great or small, valuable or not, remains to be seen. Time will tell. Meanwhile, I live each day knowing that I’ve actively tried not to hide.

That alone is a good lesson for self. And humility.

Humility is a lesson hard won, as well. Never certain when it is truly learned, though. Another lesson to learn? Vulnerability and humility are in lock-step? That's something to think about.

Oh yes; the procedure this morning was successful! Free. Free at last! A smile is now the norm. The sun is shining. The air smells sweet. And I can drive again! And walk. 

Wow! Such a good feeling.

May 18, 2018