Remembering 9/11

I know, I’m a day off. But I really didn’t want to hit the memory trail yesterday, on the 19^th anniversary of the tragic events of September 11, 2001. I needed another day to think about it. Peace out a bit.

The day was crisp, clear and the bluest sky I remember. Leaves were hinting at changing color. I was on the computer in my office. Client work focused my mind acutely. The phone rang and Rocky called from work to say a plane hit the World Trade Center in New York. "Turn on the TV," he said. I walked into the bedroom across the hall from the office, turned on the TV and watched the horror unfold. In slow motion.

I tried to get back to business, but couldn’t. I shut off the TV, closed down the computer and went downstairs to the living room. Turned on the big TV. Got another cup of coffee and sat in my recliner mesmerized by the TV coverage.

I remember wondering what this meant. What was happening. Why now? I also compared the similarity of New York’s weather with Chicago. Same day 1000 miles apart, but carbon copy weather. Simply too beautiful to be a bad day.

But it was. A very bad day.

Soon reports indicated other planes were involved and then the second plane hit the other tower. Tempo of events accelerated in a blur from that point on. Air traffic was shut down. A flight was tracked to a crash site in Pennsylvania, heightened defenses were raised surrounding the White House, the President was whisked away and finally, another plane was reported crashing into the Pentagon building.

Chaos. News reports flew high and wide as in a blizzard. Lots of questions. No answers. Three buildings hit. People presumed dead. Then the towers began to disintegrate and collapse.

Minds, hearts and people ran in panic. Devastation was evident. Billions of dollars in damage were obvious. But human life? What would be the toll?

The weight of events was heavy, suffocating. What did this mean? What would happen now? And who were the actors responsible for all of this?

Humans react to big disasters slowly. Reactions occur but without focus. Days and weeks later meaning forms but even then, no one is certain of the meaning of anything.

Deep down I felt our nation challenged to the core. Who are we? What will we become as a result of this awful day? Will we be stronger? More purposeful? Or will public outcomes be more nuanced?

Part of me thinks we have become stronger. We have survived. We have taken a strong place on the world stage. But part of me still feels lost. We went to Afghanistan seeking revenge against Osama bin Lama. Retribution was not swift. It took years but we finally tracked him down and murdered him in his lair in Pakistan.

Meanwhile, we poked around the Middle East and waged war in Iraq to unseat Saddam Hussein. We were successful in that but an utter failure at settling anything. On the contrary, we created a horrible mess in the Middle East that may never heal, never return to any kind of manageable normal.

As an extension of that outcome, domestic politics devolved into a back alley slugfest between conservatives and everyone else. Civility went out the window. Suspicion of government grew. Foreign affairs deteriorated and remain so nearly 20 years later.

Stronger? Smarter? More knowledgeable? No; I don’t think so. I think we are very confused about our identify as a nation and our values as a people.

We want to feel good about ourselves. We don’t. Instead we feel vulnerable and weak. Oh, we know we are a formidable military power in the world. And we know we do good deeds throughout the globe. But we wonder why we don’t feel better?

Deep down we sense the brokenness. The question is, how do we fix it?

How much does this have to do with 9/11/01?

A telling question. I wonder who has the answer?

September 12, 2020