Staying Positive

Not easy being positive when so many things go awry. Normal everyday happenings are challenges enough for most of us but then add illness, financial stress or horrible weather and all seems lost at times.

The other day I spent the morning in a distant suburb participating in a business mentoring workshop. All went well. Interactions were excellent. Discussions were fruitful and the breakout sessions between students and mentors were very productive.

I had a short business meeting with other mentors to follow my student contact, then home for lunch – so I thought – and then on to another  mentoring session one on one.

That’s when things began to go wrong. First the traffic was God awful. Getting home was now going to be a problem if I wanted to make my next appointment on time. But I needed a bathroom break badly so soldiered on to home. Realizing the time pressure I called the client to make sure she was going to make our meeting. The cell phone misfired and kept calling the wrong number. Still don’t know why it switched to another number when the first one was dialed correctly.

Didn’t have time to fiddle with that so jumped in the car again and started out to meet the client. At a stop light I managed to call and confirm our appointment. Told her I might be late due to late start and heavy traffic.

Then construction barriers loomed ahead. A 6-lane suburban feeder highway (surface street with frequent stop-lights) was being repaired. One third of the lanes in both directions were closed. Traffic backups were monumental. There was no telling how many miles this problem existed. But each stop light intersection took 3 to 5 cycles before traffic made it through.

Finally, with 8 minutes left to the appointed time but with at least 30 minutes of travel time remaining, I called the client again and cancelled the appointment. Instead I suggested I send her an email with discussion questions for her to work on, then email her answers to me, and we could continue our work via email until a face to face meeting was more appropriate. She agreed.

I made a u-turn and made for home. Calling again via hands-free technology, the phone system balked and failed to connect me with the house. So, infuriated, I finally made it home in full frustrated mode. Worse, Rocky was unable to fix lunch (he was recently out of hospital and our larder was near bare) we went to a local Burger King restaurant where we promptly ordered McDonalds fare forgetting where we were! That confused the staff, we ordered, then changed the order further confusing them. The food came late and not completely as we had wished. We ate it anyway and returned home to change clothes and take a nap.

Later I caught up with several mentoring assignments via computer and another nap until supper which turned out to be an egg breakfast because that was all we had in the house. And it was delicious because eggs always are!

Angry, frustrated and peeved I fumed and stormed around the house mad at failed technology, egregious highway maintenance protocols that force suffering on the very people who use and pay for the highways. And a cascade of other negatives weighed me down.

Later that night I awoke after two hours of sleep completely awake. Tossing and turning I contemplated my day and realized we were both exhausted by medical and hospital happenings during the week, and that set up a perfect storm for Friday. My nerves were on edge. Muscles were knotted. And then the pain from those same muscles and an extra boost from arthritis made for an uncomfortable night.

This morning I realize the toll I allowed the negatives to take on me and my loved ones. Not a nice picture but at least I think I understand it now.

Staying positive during trying times begins with understanding that trying times are upon you. That is the warning that tells you to reschedule and manage the stress better. Some avoidance is necessary. Some fresh planning is required. And then gulps of fresh air, perhaps a nap, and a renewed start.

We are human and can shoulder heavy loads. Some days are easier than others. When they are not it pays to recharge and make changes midstream. An apology may be nice to offer; but it is not required. After all this is life and shit happens.

September 22, 2016