Christmas Wish

The perfect gift. What is it?

Depends on who is giving; and who is getting. It is a transaction. Between two people. A giving mind and a receiving mind. Both must be present for the meaning to be present.

Years ago, the lists were made. The people to focus on; what would they like? What would have special meaning for them? Especially, what would have a unique meaning just between the two of us?

And so, the list took shape. There was Mom, Dad, sister and brother. What are their interests? What are their fears and hopes? Is there a memory to share and recall? Or a glint of a hope to wish for in the future? What ‘thing’ would represent that accurately? Does that give definition to a possible gift?

For others in our life we offer a heartfelt wish or nod to the holiday. We share it with them. No tangible gift is necessary. Just a remembrance or smile. A greeting. A card. Homemade apple pie. Or merely a hearty greeting and opening of a door for them.

But others require more thought. More connection. Something of value to the giver and getter. Maybe a poem. A short story? Or a well thought out comment on a holiday card. Something personal, shared by the giver to the other.

In earlier times when income was generous, gifts of distinction, of value took the place of the personal. Oh, there was some matching of want and giving going on, but superficially. It was the thing that counted, the act of following through with the gift that mattered. Generous enough, the item was appreciated, almost as much as the ‘thought’ that was missing. In time this sort of giving became heavy, expected.

But it missed the mark. It didn’t express the personal. It was felt on both sides of the transaction.

With income missing in these later years, only the personal is possible. Only the presence of self at a time of being together. Often that is the best present; and the only one possible.

Odd how the cycle runs its course. I wonder how many are trapped in this? As I once was?

A good question. Uncomfortable answers likely. Still an uneasy peace with the presentless presence.

December 19, 2018