Gifts

So, Tim Cook, the CEO of Apple, recently said that his being gay is actually the biggest gift. I know what it means. So do many others.


They don’t have to be gay to see the gift.  In fact, this is not about gay at all.  


This is what it is all about: knowing, feeling, experiencing the pain of anything – differentness, off balance from society’s norms, loss, grief, disability – gives the person the gift of knowing the ‘other.’


Otherness is innately feeling and knowing what others feel at times of stress. With the shrouds removed, we see beauty, make sense out of chaos, see complexity as a potential’s lace, hear music with total senses, taste food with all senses roaring, and so on.


My brother once told me he thinks my gayness has made me more sensitive to the needs of others. When he said this, I think he was still horror struck realizing I was gay. But he was right; I am more sensitive to others. The fires of struggle being different gave me that gift.


The needs of others are not always pleasant. The sorrow and pain they feel is felt by others; they respond with care, hope and action. Not easy. Not comfortable. But necessary. To ease the problem or at least its effects. The pain and sorrow become one with them as well.


This is not a feel-good thing. This is not a pain and reward transaction, either. No, it is a heightened sense of being that then unlocks entire spheres of knowing other things. Things like –

·        Beauty in simple landscapes more breathless than ocean vistas, majestic mountain peaks, or exalted views of the Grand Canyon

·        Literature as gateway to understanding, creation of new thinking, and discernment

·        Spotting potential in ideas simple or complex, and their breathtaking benefits

·        Making sense of complex problems and why they must be solved

·        Clarity in seeing the obvious when obscured by chaos

Here’s an example of what I’m getting at:


I was born in southern California, Pasadena. I lived in the foothills of the San Gabriels, below Mount Wilson, and later at the foot of Mount Baldy. We also lived for a while in the Mojave Desert. I know what California was like then; its majesty, weather, vistas, hope and potential. Beauty was just about everywhere. But today?


The complexity of California has produced a mosh pit of problems that is destroying itself. Wildfires are mostly manmade from arson, technology burps or happenstance. Their frequency is driving out residents for the foreseeable future. The unsustainability of California (population, water and sewer needs, electricity, roadways, bridges and basic amenities) makes for a complex future that likely isn’t.

Even California’s housing market is unsustainable. Wealthy people can afford the homes, but rich people don’t do their own work. They need middle class folk to do the daily work and services. But the middle class cannot afford to live within commuting distance.


The natural order of California is a warning to the rest of America: Keep balance in our lives or lose life itself. Whether this is economics, ecology, or mental or physical health, balance is necessary. It is not an option.


See the meaning of things. Know the value of our surroundings. Seek the obvious when it appears less visible. Some people can see these things; they are our alert systems.


Best they be heard. And heeded.

That's the gift: to see, to say, to be heard. And make a difference.


November 1, 2019