Getting Along with Others

Walking into my place of work was pleasant. I’m retired now, but then I was convivial, friendly and outgoing. I came to know many of the people in the building. They serviced my clients in the field. I worked mainly with client organizations scattered throughout Illinois, Missouri and Minnesota. I hit a few other states, too, but for only one or two clients (Michigan, South Carolina, Iowa, Indiana, Wisconsin).


I drove a lot of miles doing this work. Stayed in many small and medium-sized towns, too. Lots of motels, small hotels, ate in countless restaurants, and bought gas at so many service stations I couldn’t hazard a guess. But each stop provided interaction with others, strangers, mostly.


I got to know clients fairly well. Their organizations reflected their personalities and skill levels. It was my job to analyze what was working well and what wasn’t. We discussed the findings. We noodled and doodled our way to solutions. The intellectual challenge was heady – understanding organizational development issues, business conditions, operating issues, and again, personalities. The latter was the key touchstone in all my work.


Personalities pervade organizations. They represent a layer of behavior and fact that must be understood if solutions are to work in the real world, that’s if the suggested solutions are even accepted.


I got along with people pretty well. I enjoyed the challenge of knowing each person, and understanding how they interacted with others to present a whole scenario of the client situation. The same understanding paid dividends back home in the office with co-workers. They had to believe what I was telling them was happening in the field, and then cooperate with implementing solutions for the client. Mostly that worked.


In any organization – the PTA, doctor’s office, church, HOA or neighborhood gathering – formal or not, interaction of people is key to knowing what’s real. Hearing, listening and being clear in communications is central to knowing what the real world truly is.


Having said all that, turn on Facebook and behold the interactions! I’ll wait while you do that.

Still waiting……


Now, what impressed you right off? The bile and miserable relationships a lot of people were presenting in public? I know; that’s not the totality of the experience. Many people do right and are lovely, caring persons. They are the ones we like anyway and the reason we interact with them on Facebook. But my point remains – look how awful a lot of people are in their public face?


This situation is not the result of the pandemic. That is only situational. No; the problem started a long way off. It is what led to the disastrous election results in 2016. We need to learn the lesson so it is not repeated.


Being kind is an outcome. But what is the method by which we manage the outcome to be what we hope it to be? Logic and persuasion have not worked. Unfollowing someone has not worked (it only builds isolated siloes). Being kind is a behavior, but is it enough to also be the outcome?


Help! I need advice here. Do you have any to spare?

Anyone?

May 28, 2020