Conveniences

When we were last shopping for a home – we’d lost our house to foreclosure and ultimately bankruptcy – we viewed many apartments. Attempting to remain in Warrenville, we focused attention nearby but eventually gave up and looked in the surrounding communities. We finally found one in West Chicago that would give us a chance despite our recent bankruptcy. Yes, folks! Good references do matter!

Friends scoffed at us as we insisted our apartment contain a dishwasher, garbage disposal, ice maker refrigerator, and microwave. We also wanted an in-unit laundry, two bedrooms and two full baths. Extra storage space would be nice as well as a garage.

Now you see why they scoffed! Our list of amenities was long. Oh yes, and we didn’t want stairs. If the apartment were on an upper floor, the building had to have an elevator.

So seemingly our quest would be long. And it was. After two years of searching we finally came up with the unit we now live in. It is a newish unit opened in 2006 or 2007 just as the real estate market imploded. Built as a condominium, the building couldn't sell half the units so investors were invited in to buy them for the leasing market. Our unit was occupied by one resident, then left vacant until we moved in.

Our entire wish list was satisfied. And the rent was reasonable and available for a three-year lease. The garage is heated and spacious, a storage space is just down the hall from our front door, and we have spacious closets and a walk in pantry. Our home is 1150 square feet and comes with a balcony. We are on the fourth floor and heat and gas are included. Also the water, hot water and sewer! All we pay is electric.

So everything is hunky dory!

Now a few words about the conveniences. First off the ice maker didn’t work and they had to replace the unit; same refrigerator but new ice maker. Second, the garbage disposal unit was frozen and they did manage to get it working without replacing it. So far all is good.

Several months later the microwave stopped working and we called the landlord's maintenance service. They came out, assessed the problem, agreed it needed to be replaced and handled the entire affair from there.

Most recently the dishwasher quit with an ominous noise and high squeal. We called the repair service. They sent a specialist to assess the problem and estimated the cost of repair. With its age of nearly 9 years the landlord agreed to replace the dishwasher. We await the installation later this week. Meantime we endure dishpan hands!

The plumbing is doing just fine. Oh, one of the toilets was leaking and not attached properly so they did address that shortly after moving in, but all else is working just fine.

We await further developments with the laundry equipment. Nine years is a long time for apartment-size appliances to last. So I’m thinking later this year we will encounter an outage?

So, in about a year’s time we have done without a garbage disposer, ice maker, microwave and dishwasher. None of the outages were for a prolonged time. The landlord served us very well and we have no complaints at all. What we do have are these observations.

First, dishwashers are very important. They allow quick cleanup of the kitchen following every meal even if the washer load is not yet full enough to run. Most of the time the dishwasher can be run at night without any fuss. While making coffee the next morning the dishes can be put away. Also no fuss. Without the appliance the kitchen is a perpetual mess, dishpan hands are a nasty affliction, and meals are planned around how much dish washing can be avoided!  All in all, a dishwasher is a fabulous convenience. Just try living without one!

Second, a garbage disposal is a must as well. In our building the garbage chute is just down the hall from us, so that is convenient. We need not venture far, or out of doors to get rid of smelly, messy garbage. But being able to wash food waste down the kitchen drain is best of all. Very convenient. It keeps smells, mess and grease build up from happening at all. So, the disposal unit is the second best convenience. Another must.

Third, a microwave cooks meals quickest, boils water faster than anything else, allows small meals to be prepared easily with the least fuss, and is a major convenience even in the largest of households. When it was not working, however, we were able to get around it with the least upset to our routine. Oh sure, we changed menus to adapt and were very happy when the new unit was installed.

Fourth, ice makers are not truly needed. We don’t drink cocktails so don’t need ice for that daily routine. We don’t entertain much so certainly don’t need ice for that, either. Ice is handy when it comes from an auto ice maker. But it isn't much of a ‘do’ to make ice the old fashioned way in ice trays. Just don’t run out! But the way we live that’s not very likely!!

Fifth, laundry appliances are a huge convenience. Period. No trekking out for such services. No tramping in the ice, snow or rain, either. And blessedly no more miles added to the car! We haven’t been without laundry services yet. I dread when it happens. Meantime we take good care of what we have!

Before going to bed last night I thought it had been a long time since we last had a power outage. So, in the middle of the night we had one! I have lots of breathing appliances connected to my face all night long and when those units quit working bells and alarms sound to let me know! That’s how I knew we had a power outage in the middle of the night. About a half hour later it was back on. But I wondered if it was to be a long term outage and projected how it would change our day: hand washing dishes; trips to the garbage chute; put off laundry for a day or two; no elevator service and no garage door opener. But the worst consequence of a power outage?  No computer or TV service. The computer for me is the biggie. TV outage might cause some boredom, but at least the noise would cease!  And that’s a good thing.

So, conveniences are well worth the trouble to get, maintain, use and keep. It’s a royal pain when they are not available. I keep wondering how we ever did without them all when we were kids and growing up!

Something to be grateful for to be sure.

May 8, 2015

Changing Scripts

Governance is a tricky business. It is encountered at every turn in social life. Our churches are governed at various levels. Most are national, some international. Many are of local governance with some association with a national organization; that relationship, however, is voluntary and a support role only; not a true governance association.

That’s churches. Then we have schools: public and private. Private schools are either non-profit or profit. Some are parochial – church related and mission oriented toward extending the beliefs of that church denomination. Schools run the gamut of pre school, kindergarten through high school, college and university institutions, and then graduate education, research institutions, vocational training schools, and so forth. Of recent vintage are the for-profit educational outfits who pretend to be a college or university but are in business to make money and not transform lives. They usually support specific industries on the fringes to lure new students into thinking that studying a few courses will gain them entry to a profitable career. Such results are rare. Just broken dreams, promises and hearts.

Home owner associations (HOA’s) have been around a few decades now if one ignores the cooperatives that existed in New York City around 1900, maybe before. Coops divided the ownership of the entire building among the residents. The operating costs of the building were merged and then paid for by all the residents based on the square footage of their housing units/apartments as a percent of the entire square footage of the building. Monthly costs were extensive; many thousands of dollars per month. Outright purchase of each home unit seems affordable until the monthly expenses were known. Back in the day you could buy a home in such buildings for $20,000 to $40,000 but the monthly coop fees might have been $5,000 or more; much more. Today these buildings and governance forms still exist; but the expense numbers and purchase costs are enormous. Coops, however, retained the right to pick and choose who was eligible to buy a unit and live among the residents.

HOA’s remain a modern day governance structure that is more strict than a local city government. They control just about everything in the life of a resident but diet and sexual practices. Regarding the latter, HOA’s may have mysterious powers yet unexplored, so beware!

Let’s see, more governance – Parent Teacher Associations (PTA’s), Boy Scouts of America, Girl Scouts of America, Girls and Boys Clubs of America, and many other such development associations that parents flock to for help in raising their kids in a healthy manner. Or a supposedly healthy manner. How Boy Scouts feels it is healthy to teach discrimination to the kids is beyond me, but then it is their private organization to own, run and govern as they see fit. It is also my freedom to ignore them.

The associations and organizations we join, form and labor in throughout life are also centers of governance. We discover interests and talents throughout life and realize we need to connect with others with similar interests to better fulfill those interests. Each organization is governed by rules, by-laws, constitutions or other agreements – written or not – which we all agree to abide with.

Of course we have governance in our local fire districts, park and library districts, city/village/town governments, and county government. These are not voluntary. If you own property or rent residential space, you are governed by the local laws, pay accordingly, and obey with or without respect. The beauty of these government units are they are transparent. Their business is done in the light of day in full view of the governed. If you are interested in what’s going on in the town hall or park department office, just attend meetings, read the minutes of past meetings, and discuss issues with your elected representatives to those entities. Occasionally issues will come to light wherein the governed are asked for direct input. Questions are placed on an election ballot; such input is either known in advance to be binding or advisory. Either way the elected representatives will be bound to act in accordance with the wishes of the governed.

In addition to the governing entities included above, there are countless public boards and bodies we elect people to manage, and also state and federal governments. Being a democracy is far-reaching and hard work to maintain, monitor and vote intelligently. It requires our attention. We need to keep up with what’s happening. And that’s where the news media and journalists enter the picture.

Unfortunately the news media costs money no one wants to pay for so the news content is abbreviated to fit within media budgets. Sometimes sponsors are willing to pay more for coverage special to them so more of that is reported. We just don’t know how to measure the credibility of such reports.

Having said all of this, three things become evident:

First, governance is here to stay; whether the democratic model is fully supportable by the public is a growing question. There is more than a little doubt here; the public is tired of paying for anything, and they have evidenced laziness and unwillingness to follow the news. The public remains ignorant; not stupid, just ignorant. This must change.

Second, the media is not reliable in its current structure. To have value of fact, credibility, currency and access, the media must change. It is the major partner of the public to monitor governance so it all remains effective and credible.

Third, we all have something to gain by giving up some personal ‘power’. That is how public institutions are empowered: we give up something to get something we need. Taxes for libraries, schools, parks, park programs, and local governing entities. We get order, education, enlightenment and quality of life in return.

Although evident, these three things are in trouble and require maintenance and change. To do that requires how we view these matters, how we deal with them, and how we think and deal with them in the future. Scripts have guided us in the past. Scripts will help us find our way into the future. But scripts have to be researched and written. And they have to be agreed with to have any persuasive power and credibility with the public.

Who changes this script? When will it be written?

That is the business of the public. And we are the ones who will direct it. Only the smartest and most alert public elected officials will understand this. They get to remain to do the work. Others will need to be removed and new ones found to fill their place.

But who will lead this effort?  You?

May 7, 2015

Flagellum (?)

It was 3 am. Rocky had just made another nightly visit to the bathroom. Overactive bladder in a 70 year old diabetic is not unusual. Being awakened gently is thus nothing new for me but my bladder is not at cause. I guess this is a case of relational bladder!

At any rate my mind centered on flagellum. I thought that odd and wondered what the term meant. I vaguely remembered it was likely a cellular biology term and made a note to look it up on Google – don’t you just love Google?  I also vaguely remembered locomotion and thought a fluttering motion of tendrils or ‘toes and fingers’ might produce the action.

Well anyway, rather than wonder about it at 3 am I got up and Googled the term. Here’s what I learned.

Flagella are organelles defined by function rather than structure. There are large differences between different types of flagella; the prokaryotic and eukaryotic flagella differ greatly in protein composition, structure, and mechanism of propulsion. [Wikipedia]

Flagella is plural for flagellum. Often the organelle (organism’s cellular component or substructure focused on one function) is a single whip or set of fingers that wave and cause the cell to move from one location to another within a larger cell or organism.

OK. This might be interesting to a biologist. But to a retired business person at 3 am on a Sunday morning? It is now 3:40 am and I’m writing about this because it seemed to be the sensible thing.

Well, other readers at this point must be wondering who would get up at that hour and write about flagellum let alone think about it at that hour?

So here’s the origin of the thought. My daughter is once again undergoing a reorganization within her employer’s business. In the last 7 years she has gone through this process 3 times. The usual process is some junior executive in some headquarters office thinks it would be better if some of the company’s support functions were located at different sites in the nation. So Boston’s office moves to Cedar Rapids, Iowa, or vice versa. Or several units in Chicago are moved to Timbuktu, Iowa, while field staff still is served by the staff via computer and phone connections quite well. Trouble is the support people are asked to move at their own expense to the new location to keep their job, or face unemployment. Because many of these support staff are married with families, more than one person, and almost certainly, more than one job is affected by this corporate decision.

So my daughter is forced to find a new job. She can find the new position in the same company serving a different set of field staff elsewhere in the nation by remote connection, or she can do the same with another company in the same industry, or change industries.

Of course I feel frustrated for my daughter. She is working in a field not of her first choice because she was displaced by a crashing economy and a dissolving real estate industry over the past 10 years. What she is good at – great at really – she can no longer work at because the industry can’t find the balls (pardon me, the courage) to face new realities and reinvent itself. Too many people protecting old ways of doing things, so the industry continues as a severely damaged organism limping and lurching to new points of equilibrium having nothing to do with its real long term objective and purpose.

A lot of industries have this problem of renewal and change. The real estate industry is a classic one because of its size, political entrenchment in policy and legislative mucking about, as well as the financial enormity of the industry’s consequent sub businesses (mortgage industry, banking, investment banking, land use policy, land prices and optional usage of land masses, etc.).  A lot of money is invested in real estate. A lot of jobs are on the line. Ownership of these businesses is well established in entrepreneurial units of small size. Money and profits make for interesting relationships and skullduggery!

Getting them to realize their lives and businesses have changed at the cellular level is like getting a republican to understand his responsibility to pay taxes. What is old is not now new. What is new is not anything like the old. Times have changed. We must change what we are doing. The need remains the same. But now it will require new methods to address the needs.

Maybe the analogy to cell biology is what made my mind think of motion and flagellum?

If it fits, fine; so in small ways the larger organism is made to change, move and morph. The real estate industry needs a complete reinvention in my mind. A fundamental challenge to be responsive to the needs of the public for housing, shelter and structures which aid human scale relationships and community. I think that is the over arching requirement of the real estate gurus’ focus at this time. Will any step up to do this breakthrough work?

Not any time soon, I think. Sadly.

So, this means my daughter’s career is in the toilet, the career she’s good at and wants back. Meanwhile, she is working for another industry which needs a lot of work within its cellular structure, but that’s another topic for another day. The topic today is really how corporate structures are failing to do two critical functions.

Those functions are: first, overall architecture of their organization to their long term mission (are they truly focused on the mission and therefore able to forge long term vision of the organization’s well-being? And second, how well they safeguard their most important asset in their business – their people.

The first function I have already addressed in principle above. The second function is really a problem our nation faces on a grand scale. People are being treated as things and pawns on a chess set or board game. They are not. They are flesh and blood individuals with brains and aspirations. They are the heart of our society. They are the consumers of what society produces and thus engines of the economy. They are also the engines of labor that perform functions every employer requires to remain in business. Thus they are the functioning assets of every business yet they do not appear on any balance sheet.

Odd isn't it? Think of it. The balance sheet shows cash, accounts receivable, investments, buildings, land and equipment. All are necessary to conduct any business. Nowhere on the balance sheet is shown the value of the employees – the people who get the business done. They do appear on the income and expense report. As expenses – salaries, wages, benefits, FICA, taxes, etc.

However, each employee represents earning power for the company. That isn’t accounted for anywhere. Revenues are accounted for. But those bits and pieces of income somehow do not get connected by accounting to the people who produced the revenues in the first place.

By masking employees as chess pieces rather than people, the company is actually disrespecting its own human resources. And they will lose those resources one day and never get them back.

Corporations are in trouble today. The executives focus on their own pay not the long term viability of their companies. They can always jump to another corporation and make money messing them up! Like they did their old employers. Dehumanizing the company is tantamount to destroying the soul of the business. It will lead to the destruction of the business.

Companies must re-establish how they value their employees. They need to pay fair salaries and wages. They need to provide safety net benefits that encourage employees to take a chance on the employer and work for it. Loyalty to that purpose deserves loyal support in return. That loyalty is the mark of a relationship that truly is a partnership. With the employer.

Today that partnership is fading away. Hourly wages rather than salary. Weakening benefits rather than robust security programs (defined benefit pensions going away, health insurance plans being self funded by the employee, sick days and vacation days being combined and lessened, so many benefits disappearing entirely). The 40 hour work week is being toyed with. Oh the 40 hours remains, but in many instances overtime pay begins at 50 hours now, not 40. Flex time means employees have to adjust their work hours to a 24/7 schedule convenient for the employer, not the family.

You know, it seems to me the Family Values people have missed the point of what everyone else already knows. Owners of corporations are attacking the safety and security of families in America for their own benefit. But politically those same owners are spewing family values, lower taxes on corporations and people of wealth and a weakening of pensions and other benefits.

Who exactly is benefiting from all the republican nonsense in Washington DC and state houses and legislatures? Certainly not you and I. The corporations are part and parcel with them. That leaves the individual employees adrift in a sea of chess pieces being moved about the gaming boards by unseen hands.

And that motion is not flagella! No; it is greed and loss of purpose.

We need to change the script in our country. The function and purpose of government is one script in need of editing. The political process needs an entirely new script, one that returns the power to the people. And economic units – companies, employers, institutions – need a script that protects and empowers the employees so they can continue to be the engine of production as well as consumption.

Now that’s how an economy works. How did we lose our way so thoroughly? But we have, haven’t we?

May 6, 2015

Filling Holes

Youth Friday. Last night. A breakthrough.

Recall the Friday night gatherings are with teens (13 to 17) who are abusers of alcohol and drugs. We apply an Alcoholics Anonymous template for the meeting. The template works only a little. Mostly it is a session in which two adults attempt to get the kids to talk about their sobriety, how to find it and keep it. We apply sobriety to both drug and alcohol free status. Equal opportunity addiction, you know?

Well, pulling meaningful discussion from these kids is like getting a republican to admit he really should pay more taxes. They resist. Saying anything at all, let alone a heartfelt sharing of what they are feeling. Until last night.

One of the guys I've been watching grow and stretching into a reluctant leadership role, suggested we all talk about what our largest hole is in life, the one we are trying to fill, the one that most likely caused us to try booze and drugs to cover up the hole in the first place. He started the sharing. Then another, and another. Of 14 kids 6 shared. Good stuff. Things that would trouble any of us. Experiences that shook faith in family, friends and life itself. The gaping abyss that scared them.

Such are the encounters each of us are likely to have in life. How we handle it at the time helps us understand a lot of the other mysteries life holds for us, too. Handling it badly in the past often trails forward through many years of struggle. And experimentation with substances to soothe troubled waters!

These six youth were willing to probe their feelings in front of others. It is the honesty we ask of each other if we are to unburden ourselves, live freer lives, and find the inner self. The process uncovers hidden strengths and broader self understanding. In time that becomes a blessing, something to be grateful for.

The shared stories were the usual things in some cases, but stunning and shocking tales in others. No wonder these kids felt a void. The holes were scary. Drugs and alcohol became companions and the entre to relationships with others to fill the void. Most admitted their experiences made them feel lonely and isolated.

Six spoke out. Those asked the quiet ones why they remained silent. One said he was not prepared yet to share these feelings. Another demurred similarly. A few declared this meeting not to be the appropriate place for such sharing; it felt too much like a therapy session. He was asked what would he suggest we do with our time, then. He had no answer. No suggestions. No ideas. Just silence. And others around him agreed with him.

Some were ready to use their time to fill the aching holes in their lives. Others were not ready to do so. I wonder when and if they ever will be ready?

These things cannot be rushed. But the pressure to resolve remains and presses the addict toward self understanding. Each person is on his own journey with its own pathway and timeline. No one can impose that on another. The unfolding takes time and patience.

Consequences, too, unfold if progress is not gained. The hole yet yawns, sucking in life force that could be used on better pursuits. Covering this loss only adds to the effect of the original hole. Compounding difficulties is yet new consequence. And the job to be done grows ever larger.

Arresting the problem at a simpler stage and dealing with it is a better strategy. Youth now or adult later, the need remains and gets more complicated to repair.

Last night’s meeting was a good one. Six of fourteen attendees worked honestly to heal. Alone that process is difficult. Together and sharing is faster and more rewarding. Group strength does count for something. Silence doesn't.

How to spend our time together on Friday evening? Do we do the hard work or do we avoid it? And if we don’t like spending the time together, what then are the options? What ideas would improve our time together? No ideas? You mean complaining takes the place of offering a constructive idea?

At this early stage of their lives, they are already learning how to avoid what really matters. Could this be an echo of what is to come for them? Complaining and victimhood celebrated as fresh thinking? Or will they learn they have a role to play in finding solutions and sharing ideas that will help them and others?

No wonder they have holes. So does our society. And what do we do about that?

May 5, 2015

Police Matters

A lot of news about police, communities and the relationships between both. Throughout the nation. Both here and abroad. The topics are universal. And maybe that’s the problem.

Police protection in our communities is not automatic. They exist because there is a social contract between the public and government authorities. The constitutions of the nations address the basic contract: an agreement between the governed and the governors. The latter have only the power that the former grant them. Governed in this sense does not mean lesser. The governed are the power. The governors – or authorities – are the lesser if rank even has a place in this discussion!

Police are armed, have training, discipline and authority to act. They do this, however, for the common good as envisioned by the governed. It’s in the social contract. The police must act in accordance with this contract. Doing otherwise leads to chaos – despotic governments, tyranny or anarchy.

Some of this is reflected in Ferguson, Missouri. Also in New York City and Baltimore. Uncomfortable times in these communities. But many other communities are not far behind in these developments. Many communities are edging toward tinder conditions where a small incident could lead to full riots.

Respect for police by the public is a critical element in maintaining peace.

That statement is the baseline for today’s blog. Respect for police begins not with the public, however, but with the police themselves. They have power only because of the consent of the governed. Period. That’s the sum and substance of the entire matter.

If police staff – on the streets or behind the desks – feels otherwise, then they need to be removed. Don’t get me wrong. The public needs the police force but the police force needs the public behind them in every way. That is a relationship that constantly demands work to create and maintain. I think this is often misunderstood by police command and officers on the street.

We have been viewing marathons of TV re-runs of several police/crime series. Currently we are catching up on the 10 years of Criminal Minds! We've done the same with CSI-New York, Bluebloods, Bones, Burn Notice and a few more. The stories are compelling. They include both the depth of criminal thinking and base anti-social behavior. They also chronicle the lives, careers and personal pressures of those people serving within the police ranks. Those lives are not easy. They work with a public often distrustful of the police. Or victims in full rage of need instead of helping to solve the crime.

It is easy to understand how a policeman feels frustration. It is also easy to understand the public’s uneasiness of the power with which police are endowed. But it is limited power.  Limited in scope and objective because of constitutional safeguards, but also limited to situation or circumstances.

In the latter, I find myself yelling at the TV telling the cop to shot the bastard! But no, the bastard needs to be kept alive so a court case can deal with him fully while also protecting the public in the short and long term. Killing the criminal during the dangerous hunt is tempting; it would shorten the timeline of crises and eliminate costly court and prison processes at the same time! Seemingly a win-win for the public; but not really. Due process protects the public at large and our system of government. It also protects the innocent ensnared in a criminal case.

TV renderings of crime stories make it appear slam dunk obvious who the guilty party is. Truth is more complex. Crime stories evolve from crime backward to the cause and perpetrators. That process is time consuming and time sensitive. It is not slam dunk. Along the way innocent people can become implicated. The law protects them and the rest of us.

Ferguson, Baltimore and other communities experiencing flashpoints of distrust between police and public are only the tip of the iceberg. All of our communities are capable of these flare-ups. Major work is needed to restore order and trust in the troubled communities. For the rest of us, major work is needed to retain order, trust and long term commitment to community needs.

How many of us are willing to do this work? How many are lazy and too willing to jump to conclusions, pick up a brick and allow our emotions to run riot?

I have faith that the vast majority are willing to do the work. I just hope they activate that willingness soon.

May 4, 2015

Thought for the Day

Perseverance

Nothing gets accomplished without some effort. And attention to some details. Don’t allow the mountain of work ahead of you suffocate your willingness to journey on hour after hour and day after day. Sticking to it will lead you to the completion.

Believe it. Stick to it. Persevere.

May 2, 2015

Thoughts on Being Gay

I hope I don’t bore you with this today, but gay is a subject that is with me 100% of the time. I don’t think about it that much, but I am gay so the subject is part of me. I see the world with gay as the background music so to speak!

Our dishwasher is on the blink. I called the property management service to report it and they sent an appliance repairman to assess the situation and help the apartment owner decide whether to fix or replace the 9 year old appliance. I suspect replacing will be cheaper and more effective, but due diligence on the landlord’s part is appropriate. At any rate we realize we will have to wash dishes by hand for awhile. (It's been a struggle, but we are relearning old methods!)

With that as backdrop we went out for breakfast. No fuss, no muss in the kitchen. And we do enjoy a good breakfast!

At any rate, as we were finishing our meal our waitress approached us and as we were joking with her, she told us her son is gay and doing very well. She appreciated our being open and out giving her someone to talk to ‘normally’. She related to us that she knew her son was gay at 2 years of age. Her instincts proved correct. Her husband left the family a few years later and even changed his name because he didn’t want to be associated with a gay son!

Her family has been associated with conservative Christian churches over the years. Her son had a difficult time in school and church circles when he entered puberty. But he remained out and proud of his individuality. He had the full support of his mother and the family has remained vibrant and intact minus the father. She is well adjusted and laments only that America’s public discussion is so vitriolic regarding gay matters. She notes improvements and hopes the gay marriage issue is settled with the pending Supreme Court decision. The minority of society will eventually catch up with the the majority who accept gay marriage and gay people in general.

It is not often that people discuss these matters with us. Our friends, neighbors and church members are well aware of our being gay. I hope they see two normal old guys living life as best they can with honesty and openness. We are involved in the community and lend a helping hand to many people and programs in town throughout the year. We are well read on current events and seek facts and meaning in the mundane. We are involved, caring and loving citizens. I think we are a credit to our community. At least I hope so.

But people don’t talk to us about gay things. Sometimes we joke with them with healthy laughter. Puns aplenty, don’t you know! I think we are well accepted and don’t cause anyone embarrassment by just being us. Things are good in these ways.

Where things go wrong is the public discussion in the media. News programs seem especially inept at handling gay issues. Politicians are the worst. They seem to seek disagreement for issue generation and attention rather than understanding and accommodation. They are manipulators in the main. Even whole states seem to try to set their identity to being pro or anti-gay. Think Texas here. Also, Mississippi, Alabama, Florida (of all places!), Georgia and North & South Carolina. Tennessee, Kentucky, Arkansas, too. The southern states. Anti-gay. Why one can only imagine. It really is not about religion. They make it seem so, but really now; the Christian debate over homosexuality is settled. The Bible is not anti-gay. Neither are most Christian denominations. Even the Pope is trying to change the stance of his church regarding acceptance of gay people.

About time! We American gays have access to specialized news services that keep tabs on what’s happening throughout both the nation and the world regarding gay rights and attitudes. It is depressing a lot of the time to realize so many people really do hate you without knowing you. It is more depressing to realize that the very institutions you have loved and supported most of your life are greatly ambivalent about my gay rights. My churches have been that way. So too my colleges and universities. Even my government seems mostly not to care. And of course there’s Congress – the greatest cesspool of non-thinking well-educated idiots in our national history. Unthinkable! Embarrassing. So unloving and uncaring they are.

Gay folk live with this crap all the time. It wears on them. But we do realize it is getting better. Much better. But please, the battle is not yet won.

I know that women must feel looked down upon. I've never fully understood that, but know it is a reality. So too African-Americans, immigrants, Hispanics and anyone who doesn't appear to be native born. What a crock. Being different is OK. It is the power to the greatness of America. Diversity and welcome. It is the welcome we need to work on even for us native born gay people! And everyone else!!

Being gay is OK. It has been a journey and often very difficult. But it has blessed me with the power of observation and the motivation to write about it and many other things.

Being gay is my strength. It has taught me to appreciate life in ways I couldn't have imagined. Insights are plentiful because of the dichotomy I live with every day.

So I’m grateful. And happy. Struggling, of course, but happy.

I hope you are too!

May 1, 2015