Think about people at risk.
Although these days these folks can be of any age, I’m thinking of young people
and really at odds with the world around them. Young like 14 to 19; and 20 to
28, too. Those two groups ~ the teens and twenties ~ have life-work to do.
Personal identity becomes defined, or not. Life purpose emerges from their
interests and passions. Building a future they envision and want – that is the
heavy work they have to accomplish.
If they don’t get it done in the
teens and twenties, their lives will wobble on year after year with a fuzzy
sense of self and a malaise of purpose.
How boring and frustrating that
must be. Remember when you were those ages and shared unknown futures with your
friends, and together you discussed what you really wanted to do but weren’t
sure how to do it? Can you remember the hollow catch in your chest as you
wondered if you would ever feel fulfilled?
Some families lead their kids to
specific goals. Trouble is, the kids may not agree with those goals. Some
families control the outcomes and their children seem happy, seem successful
but yearn for something more in life that they can’t put their finger on.
Still other families don’t lead
their kids; they are left up to their own wiles to figure it out. In most cases
this works. Passions are sorted out and interests take substantive form. Dreams
are built and pathways to fulfill them are put into action.
Yet there are many youth who end up
at loose ends. For years. And years.
I found this anonymous statement on
the Internet the other day:
“People don’t always need advice.
Sometimes all they really need is a hand to hold, an ear to listen, and a heart
to understand them.”
My life partner Rocky had many
years working part time as a floor guard at a roller skating rink. Over the
years many of the kids shared their troubles with Rocky. Many times he knew
more about the kids’ lives than their parents. And that’s OK as long as the
straight scoop is being discussed. Often parents approached Rocky and asked why
their kids talked with him and not them? Rocky’s reply was pretty simple: ‘I
listen to them and make myself available to them; do you?’
With busy lives paying mortgages,
commuting, building successful careers and taking on all the other cares of the
world while building a family, parents have a difficult time finding the time,
patience and ‘wisdom’ to listen and nurture their kids. It is not easy and it
is fraught with misunderstandings, emotions and conflict. It’s the hormones
raging, don’t you know? It wasn’t supposed to be easy. It wasn’t for you, it
isn’t for your kid, either.
I find myself just wishing I could
connect with a kid at risk and make a difference. I’m not sure I would know
how, but I sure would like to try. They need this attention and support. I
think we all can make an enormous difference if we tried. Maybe if we do it
early enough gangs would be less likely to form, drive-by shootings may
disappear and along with that a world of grief. Just ebbing away. Wouldn’t that
be nice?
Katherine Patterson shared this
thought with us:
Peace is not won by those who
fiercely guard their differences, but by those who with open minds and hearts
seek out connections.”
Personally the open minds and
hearts become self-evident and those who need our attention know that truth.
They will respond. They will engage. And futures will change.
For them and us this will come
together finally. It will show its fruit.
From the internet:
“Someday everything will all make
perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and
keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason.”
~Anonymous
Meanwhile we should hone our
listening skills. Smile more to be outwardly more accessible to others. The kid
waiting at the bus stop just may ask you a question or allow you to ask him/her
one. It’s a start. An important one.
Meanwhile…
“Don’t feel bad when people misjudge
you. As long as you don’t lose sight of who you are, you’ll be fine.”
~www.themarcygran.com
Reach out and touch someone. Dare
to connect. Help change lives.
September 26, 2012
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