Victim Mentality?

Found a quote on the internet the other day. It is from “unknown” of course, so many of them. Guess they don’t want to be known, but I don’t what you to think I’m thinking up all of this stuff!! So here’s the quote:

            “Life is too short to have a victim mentality. Say to yourself,

             I am not going to be bitter; I’m going to be better.”

A good thought to guide our life along the uneasy streets.

Being a victim is easy. It tells us that what I wanted didn't happen the right way; it happened the wrong way. Not my fault. It is either someone else’s fault or fate. Nothing I did caused the problem.

Well, wrong! Either we were not paying attention or we directly caused the problem by inappropriate actions. It is our life and we have more accountability for it than we think. Understanding why something happens is the first step to avoiding the problem in the future. We can’t control everything. But we can prepare a better way and remain out of harm’s way. Plenty of opportunities to take on risk and grow our person-hood  But that is a behavior that engages life, not running from it.

Victimhood is a popular game played in public these days. Yes we are hurt by huge powers like tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes and floods. We didn't cause them directly but we could live more defensively and avoid the injuries of their fate. If we don’t we have to be willing to live with the consequences.

Too angry with others – all the time? Petulant and cynical? Well that will earn you a consistent behavior from others. Smile and you will get smiles in return. Frown or grimace at the world and that will be your view in return!

The longer I live the more I realize the truth of this statement: I get more in return from honey than with vinegar. No doubt your grandparents shared that gem with you long ago. It was true then and is still true today.

Something called Soul Searchers on the internet gave us this quote:

“To be aware of one single shortcoming in oneself is more useful than to be aware of a few in someone else.”

Yes! The work to be done is with myself. It is homework done internally. It will give me life force and soul. It will construct good things in my life. No one else can do that for me; only I can do it. And the work I think really moves us beyond victimhood into totally responsibility for our own lives. Think about that.

Here’s another idea found on the internet that fits here:

            “If an egg is broken by an outside force, life ends.

             If an egg is broken by an inside force, then life begins.

             Great things happen from the inside.”

                                                                        ~Anonymous

I work with a lot of people broken by life’s calamities. They have responded with drug and alcohol abuse. Rather than mollifying the consequences the substance abuse only brings on more troubles and calamities. Undoing the nasties is a long and arduous task. A new way must be found. Some help is available for that, but really only the afflicted can do the healing, do the work, find their way.

Soul Searches gives us another quote that is helpful here:

            “To find your way, close your eyes. Listen closely and

             Attend with your heart.”

The victim is overwhelmed by this strategy and disappears. A fresh new being of purpose is born and moving forward. May that be the case for you and those close to you as we take charge of our lives.

Peace!

February 5, 2013