A Boy Named Jax

A new soul appeared among us on Wednesday, January 29, 2014. His name is Jax W. Safford, and he is my first grandson. He weighed in at 8 pounds 1 ounce and stretched to 21.5 inches. Mom Eduenis Bourge Safford is doing very well. Dad John W. Safford couldn't be more pleased.

Let’s get something said about the name. First, Jax is unusual but original and interesting. Time will tell if it shapes the boy or the boy shapes the name. The middle initial – W – stands for nothing. Phonetically Jax W. Safford sounds more comfortable than Jax Safford – the ‘x’ and ‘S’ combining to blur pronunciation. Besides, Jax’ dad has initials JW Safford and so does he. Enough said!

I’m a grandfather twice before, both girls, Lindsay and Kira by daughter Liz and her hubby Dan. Both girls are gorgeous and sweet. Both are wanted and loved. But this thing about a grandson was delayed many years. Kira is the youngest at 10 years of age. And now comes Jax. Rocky has three granddaughters and three grandsons, so we have plenty of each kind!

But there is something about having a grandson of your own.  I don’t pretend to understand it but it just is.

Now to the specifics. Jax is quiet, calm and beautiful. Everything his grandfather Safford is not! He truly is gorgeous as a baby. Alert and calming to those around him. With long legs and arms one suspects he will follow in his dad’s body type. Then you see the fingers and toes – very long and distinct. This kid is going to be a big one to watch grow, just like his dad.

Jax’ face is very much his mom’s but the head shape is dad’s. A great blend of Bourge and Safford! This will be fun to witness over the next several years.

While visiting we witnessed the baby’s first diaper change. Dad did the honors with his mother carefully watching. And me, too! Wouldn't you know it was a poopy diaper but that made the nurse quite happy as she chalked the event off her watch list.

Eye color at this point is indistinct. Probably they are mostly gray; maybe a hint of blue, but it is way too early to determine that identifying feature. Most pediatricians will tell you it takes a year for eye color to settle in.  Besides, at this early moment we don’t dare shine a bright light into his eyes to make this determination!

Proportion is a strong point for Jax. He is nicely shaped and properly proportioned. His head is beautifully shaped, long-ish neck, long torso – but it’s those legs, arms and toes that mark his future. I bet he will be tall!

Jax also has lots of head hair. Dark brown for now but it is wispy light textured and sure to be replaced with something more permanent in a few weeks and months. Too early to tell but probably a rich brown.

A newborn’s birth is an event of promise – of things to come. That’s why we so look forward to the event. Of course the mother is anxious for the 9-months to be successfully concluded. For her the pain and discomfort is over; now for the hard work and anxiety!

The rest of the family dotes and gazes upon the baby with wonder of the magic of new life. And that is as it should be. Time will enrich both his life and ours. Such a journey it will be, filled with awe and surprise and a whole lot of joy.

Here’s hoping what I've written in this posting doesn't upset anyone. These are my personal impressions of yesterday’s visit of the newborn. Anyway I thought I’d caution the readers with this quote:

“As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.”   ~ Anonymous

Amen to that!

For the present I have inner feelings that are hard to express. I know I am not alone. Younger persons, too, will struggle with this. In time the journey will be made clear. And so be it!

Welcome to planet Earth, Jax. You are well expected and already very much loved.

January 31, 2014

Context

I am a fan of President Obama. Have been from the first day he popped on the president candidate path.  I liked his honesty then and his honesty now. He has a gift to say the things that matter whether we want to hear them or not. He speaks from his heart at the right times, too. He is mindful of sensitive situations. But still he does what is right because it is the right thing to do.

I like that quality in my president.

So last night was the State of the Union speech to the American People. The scripted remarks were well distributed to news organizations and the opposition party in advance. The usual critical comments were said before the actual delivery of the speech, but then we are used to that. So much am I used to that that I did not tune in the speech last night. I sat it out. One of the first times I can remember doing that in my adult life.

No. I wanted to let the event pass, let the pundits do their attack role, and then let things settle a bit before I watch a video tape of the speech.

You see I have faith that he said the right things again. He said them to you and I because he knows we are listening. Not like the political wolves in the country; they are attack animals on the hunt. So they listen for opportunities to change the President’s words into political grist for their own petty objectives.

Trouble is, this is our nation and its condition is our business. Evidently the republicans don’t believe it is their business. Business is their only business; who makes money and who doesn't.

My take on the nation’s condition is this:

First, we have the needed wealth and talent in this country to make good things happen for us and the entire world if we put our mind and heart into it.

Second, if we look out for and care for each other sincerely we can solve any problem no matter its size or its timing. All we have to do is live our values of loving one another as ourselves, trusting in that, and moving forward for the good of the nation and its people.

Third, we have lots of problems that will take all of us pulling in the same direction to solve them. Finding fault constantly and nitpicking only distracts us from the tasks needing to be done.

Fourth, we have a role to play in the world community that needs us; if we fritter away our strengths by political subterfuge and chicanery we only distract ourselves from the work needing to be done, but we also waste effort and valuable resources needed to be strong to do the nation’s and world’s work.

The people of America know this. They know that politicians have screwed up a good thing. The people are tired of the gridlock in statehouses and Congress. They want their schools to function well, the infrastructure to be healthy and renewed as needed, and our institutions to build strong futures for us all.

The people know that churches are meaningful in our lives. They know that religious institutions have a big role to play in our society; they welcome that role. They do not feel we have to allow those institutions, however, to dictate our beliefs and legislation as a quid pro quo. They do their good works because they are committed to doing so, not because of the power or influence they ‘buy’ from doing those good works.

The people want opinionated jerks to get out of the way so the rest of us can get done what needs doing. That job is enormous. It will take a lot of people and a lot of coordination. It will also take financial resources. If large corporations want to help, great! Otherwise we all expect government to have a role to play to make things happen.

It is that simple. The President has a good sense of what is right and wrong in America. He also has a keen sense of what we are capable of doing. But he needs cooperation and collaboration to accomplish the work.

President Obama has not made edicts. He has made suggestions. If this is too weak a leadership role for you, then follow the republicans who still have not put forth workable plans to address the many issues they complain of. All they do is sing an off harmony chorus of ‘woe is me’. We know perfectly well the woe is an orchestrated political chord they composed themselves.

Reality requires us to be adults and accept responsibility. If we want a better nation we need to work for it together. Tune out the naysayers and distracters. Get busy and get involved. The future awaits our collaboration and hard work. And I have confidence that’s what the President said last night.

January 29, 2014

Martin Luther King, Jr.

A few months ago I was in a training program that recounted some historical facts of the Civil Rights Movement in America. The lessons took me by surprise because I was an avid follower of the movement in the ‘50’s and ‘60’s. From today’s perspective I was very much a part of the movement. Back then I didn't think I was all that active, but I did participate in a few marches, one when Dr. King made an appearance in Chicago. That was the one in which he was struck by a rock or part of a brick.

Fellow participants in the class marveled at my role in history! Ahem! Please note I was more an observer of history back then, but I am still in awe of what we all accomplished in the 1960’s. So it matters to me that we as a nation set aside one day to honor Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Here’s a quote from him that still resonates with me:

“Never, never be afraid to do what’s right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society’s punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way.”

We are the monitor of our own soul, the ‘within’ of our life. We know what is right; we don’t always do it; but we know. Eventually we have opportunities to fix what we didn't do right in the past. We know this is the price we pay; it is still a good thing to do. Late but good.

Others will judge us. Do not be alarmed. Time will inform you that they are wrong while your thoughts are just. King had this to say about that:

“If you can’t fly, then run; if you can’t run, then walk; if you can’t walk, then crawl; but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.”

You know of what he speaks. Others might not. That is their concern, not yours. Or mine! Keep the truth alive in your soul and do the right thing.

Of similar language is this quote, but note the end line:

“We have flown the air like birds, and swum the sea like fishes, but have yet to learn the simple act of walking the earth like brothers.”

‘Like brothers’ indeed; this is the point of justice. We are all alike. We have the same rights. We must fight for our own rights, but also for the rights of others who may be left out of the equation by discrimination.

We are guided by this ethic. We are fueled by this sense of justice. And we are right to do so. As King urged:

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”

These are not comfortable things to discuss or live by. There is controversy and animus involved. Talking and thinking about justice helps sort things out. These mental exercises strengthen our understanding and will to do the right thing. Along the way the objections from others mean very little if they represent blockades to doing the right thing.

In the final analysis we learned this in the ‘60’s:

“Martin Luther Kind, Jr. taught us that America is not about blacks and whites. America is about people rights.”

And that broadens the value and perspective of all we struggled for. Many of those objectives were unknown at the time. But the belong none the same.

Bless our nation for having spawned and supported Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

January 29, 2014

Thoughts to Ponder

There are a few thoughts I’d like to put out there and ask you to think about.  The first one is from the late George Carlin, the inimitable master of irony:

“Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.”

But we try, don’t we? Of course we do. Can’t run out of anything. Need to stockpile supplies just to be sure we have enough. But wait!  That’s just to manage supplies. Carlin, of course, is speaking of something more. Stuff makes us feel good about ourselves, I suppose. The funny thing is I feel best when I’m thinking good thoughts, meanings deep in the mind that are often elusive. Things of that sort.

Sure things can make us happy. Here are some examples. An art piece is not just something to appreciate because of its beauty. It often evokes thoughts that nudge the brain into action. Art communicates ideas, feelings, sensations. In turn these spark mental activity that takes us on journeys of intellectual fantasy. The symbolic nature of the art piece is powerful. Alone it is not an item that makes us feel good or ‘wealthy’. It becomes a tool in our life, however, inasmuch as it sparks mental activity. It possesses us; we don’t possess it other than in the ownership capacity. And that is more a responsibility!

We have been told over and over again that ‘we can’t take it with you”; when death occurs, all worldly possessions are insignificant to the owner. Those things become the chattel for others to worry about.

We are happy because of what we have contained within ourselves, not what we own outside of our bodies.

Neil deGrasse Tyson, astrophysicist of world renown, and public spokesman for all things science, provides this thought for us to consider:

“Anyone who has studied the universe knows that there is no shortage of sources of energy in the universe, and that there is no shortage of energy sources on Earthy. And yet, here we are, crawling on the surface of this dot we call Earth, extracting caloric content that’s buried in the soil, and when you look at that, you can’t help but reflect on how primitive that behavior is.”

Indeed. We think energy is scarce. We have entire markets built on that price/value assumption. Reality holds more energy for humankind than they can conceive. We just have to develop the means of accessing it. The use of these energy sources are more healthy for our environment, too.

Why then do we struggle with aging infrastructure for old energy forms?  Natural gas pipelines that age, weaken and explode? They leak, too. The act of extracting the gas supply from the earth despoils landscapes, fresh air and destroys precious ozone layers in the atmosphere. Then too oil pipelines pose similar problems and logistical nightmares. We citizens are not aware of these things unless a problem develops. The real problem is that the problems exist now and pose enormous dangers that aging infrastructure merely multiplies.

The electrical grid? The transmission towers crisscrossing the national landscape? They need to be maintained and replaced regularly. They are damaged and even destroyed in major earthquakes and tornadoes. And hurricanes. And forest fires. Expensive above ground transmission of power throughout the nation. Power poles on city streets knocked down by vehicles, old age and storms. Power outages. Failing infrastructures. Unreliable power. Cost of this. As though there is a shortage.

Dr. Tyson knows otherwise. So does the scientific community. Why then are the decision makers in government not responding to the long term needs of society for ample power supplies and healthy infrastructures?

That is for them to ponder and then answer. To us. Why indeed have they not worked on this issue? Might it be that the industries controlling the energy supplies in the first place do not want the challenge of renewing and replacing their old technology?

Who then is in control of this? A good question in need of an answer!

January 28, 2014

Dealing with the Real

Just a few ideas to pursue today.

First from Albert Einstein:

“If the bee disappears from the surface of the earth, man would have no more than four years to live.”

A lot has been written lately about the disappearance of large numbers of bees. Biologists are beginning to piece together the reasons. Evidently a virus has killed vast numbers of bees in recent years. Whether this will wipe out the entire bee population of the planet is unknown. Probably not. But it is worth noting the work bees do for all life on Earth. They pollinate plants. Things grow and mature. Fruits come to maturity. Food crops mature to harvest. Billions of people are fed because of their work. Mostly unseen work.

So too is plant life regenerated. Food for animals, insects and birds. Life continues its trajectory in time and place. All because of bees.

Protecting the planet is about this issue. Protecting bees and every living thing is our job. Mankind has a duty. Best we not forget that!

An anonymous item from the internet gathered this jewel:

“Overheard at a grocery store by someone waiting in line behind a woman speaking on her cellphone in another language. Ahead of her was a white man. After the woman hangs up, he speaks up.

Man: ‘I didn't want to say anything while you were on the phone, but you’re in America now. You need to speak English.’

Woman: ‘Excuse me?’

Man: (very slowly) ‘If you want to speak Mexican, go back to Mexico. In America we speak English.’

Woman: ‘Sir, I was speaking Navajo. If you want to speak English, go back to England.’”

What could I possibly write to improve on that? We need to check our prejudices frequently to make certain we aren’t making stupid assumptions. We all make assumptions. Not all are stupid. Many are, however, and we need to remind ourselves of that simple fact.

A conservative Facebook page (ConservativesExposingLiberalLies) posted this item the other day:

“Generations of children watched gun violence every Saturday morning. They didn't shoot up their schools.  What changed?”

Their supposed message is that gun violence in real life didn't come from exposures to cartoons on TV.  Whether that is a valid conclusion is in question. But they asked ‘what changed?’ I’ll offer this simple thought: Rules of civility changed. Political discourse became quite ugly and parents surrounding children of all ages became quite testy about their opinions. The kids learned. They are now upset. They have guns widely available to them. Schools are not now as safe as they once were. Why? Because our social safety network is frayed in basic places. People now act up. With deadly consequences.

What to do about it? Talk about it for one. Do not politicize it for another. Seek solutions to the problem as well. Maybe consider restricting the availability of guns? At least consider it?

 To wrap up this posting today, I share this thought from Sue Fitzmaurice:

            “Every time you find some humour in a difficult situation, you win.”

Good thought to end with. Enough said?

January 27, 2014

Thought for the Day

I’m out of town today at a conference. I am pressed for time and decided to use this quote for today’s Thought for the Day:

“Don’t do something permanently stupid just because you are temporarily upset.”                       ~Lessons Learned From Life

I like this thought very much. There is much we could discuss about it. Think about it this weekend and let me know where your thoughts wind up!

January 25, 2014

Your Biography

I spotted this on the internet the other day:

            “When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen.”

Life is a journey from birth to death. What we do with the time between is the story line. How well we proceed will hold our interest. But the end result is the same. Death. We can’t enhance death or change its meaning. It is what it is. We are not in control of it.

What we are in control of is what we do with our time, talent, energy and resources. We have several decades hopefully to live our life and build our story. How well do we manage the progression of the journey?

In early years we are not in control because we simply don’t know very much. As life experiences happen we learn and accumulate lessons. The lessons help us. They do not control our life, however. There are many more lessons yet to be learned and so we explore. We pursue education. We discover interests heretofore unknown to us. We read and study those interests. We choose jobs and careers according to our interests.

We meet people. Some we dislike. Some we like. Others we love! We really want to spend time with those folks! Especially a significant other. We choose that person as a life partner, hopefully for the remainder of our life!

With our life partner we bring new life into the home and raise children and help them learn the ways of the world and take charge of their own lives. They are a part of our story. Each of these people, parents, partners and kids.

And all the related people in our families as well!  Lots of people. A continuum of relationships that helps define our story,

So we live our life, day after day, weeks and months and years going by. We have options to exercise from time to time; we make those choices. We live with the results. We busy ourselves with the routines and work of the life story-line. To be sure we do not always understand what it all means, but from time to time we do meditate on these things and pull together some focused thoughts on the meanings.

There are others who will write about our lives for us, most often they do so without our bidding or knowing of it. Still the story is ours. To live and to direct. That function belongs to no one else.

My hope is that you and yours will build lives of participation with others, including entire communities much larger than your family. It is in these efforts we learn more of the big picture, the universe or nation that contains us. We understand better our role, potential, and duties.

I observe people who do not deal well with people outside their home. I watch people who are afraid that others will take something away from them, something they feel is theirs to have and to hold. Yet those things come from the external community in the first place. Our security, sense of well-being, key services we rely on performed by others. We share a lot in life with others; we therefore need to share our inputs as well. It is a give and take transaction.

We pay our taxes and get roads, snow removal, libraries, parks, fire and emergency medical protections. We pay insurance premiums and gain help in paying bills when losses are experienced. We work hard at school and learn things that help us live life productively. We pay taxes to school systems so education is at the ready for each of our fellow citizens, and our family.

We give so we can take. We donate to charities and churches so help is available to people in situations that government doesn't address. Sometimes we take without giving, but only because someone else gave ahead of us and our need arose and we took so we can give in the future.

My story-line. My biography. Yours, too. What are we doing with the opportunities?

The Dalai Lama suggests we pay attention to this:

“The planet does not need more successful people. The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers and lovers of all kinds.”

Is the planet getting the benefit of your gifts? Are we all perfecting our storylines intentionally and carefully? 

Something to think about!

January 24, 2014

What to Believe

Joel Osteen is a successful TV evangelist. He shared this thought the other day:

            “People have the right to their opinion. And you have the right to ignore it.”

How true! Trouble is what is an opinion and what is a fact? What is truth? What are the variables that affect those highly different elements?

Hard to say, of course. If we don’t understand something it is easy to hear about it as an opinion and thus we are free to ignore it! What if the ‘opinion’ is actually a statement of fact? Whether uncomfortable or not, the fact remains. Do we ignore it freely?

Of course we can. at our own peril we ignore the facts and the truths of life, however. There are consequences to ignoring such things. Such as global warming. It is a highly technical issue that is understood best from a scientific vantage point. I personally do not understand all of the science, but I get the gist of it and am concerned about the matter. What do I do, what should I do about that?

Well, I've chosen to let those people who understand the science of the issue to continue their research so that we might all benefit from a solution to the issue later on. I certainly will not attempt to stop that research. Research will help us all understand what is happening and the consequences of doing nothing are. I’d rather be safe than sorry.

For those who think global warming is an opinion, they are wrong. It is a fact. It is science. There is much unsettled about the issue. No one knows exactly what to do about it, the timeline of destruction or the defense against catastrophe. But most people are supportive that a real problem exists and we need to understand it better in order to manage the issue better over time.

That’s reasonable.

Unreasonable is seeing the problem as a potential barrier to a personal desire to behave or conduct my life in a certain way. Will global warming policies restrict my business or cost it more money? Will my net income be hurt.  The answers are probably yes! But no one knows for certain.

All we know is that mankind’s life on the planet is warming it and our weather, ice caps and ocean levels will change. Those changes will adversely affect our lives until we find a new way to live with the changes, or slow the advance of the problem itself. We can’t possible know any of that by ignoring the problem.

Bottom line: ignoring facts and truths have consequences. Ignoring opinions holds little consequence.

Let’s be sure we know the differences among these things so we choose to pay attention to what matters.

January 23, 2014

Community

Living with other people nearby. In neighboring homes. Yards. Abutting streets and blocks of homes. People who live in connection with other people, knowing their kids, watching families grow up and away from the area.

People connecting with people. Nodding at one another walking down the street or meeting in a grocery aisle. Maybe at church, too, or a concert at school in which their kids are co-participants. Maybe it’s at the high school gym during a basketball game. Or a PTA meeting.

Little League games, youth football, soccer – whatever activity that draws people together – there they meet and greet.

Knowing we are members of the same community. Sensing a common link in our lives.

Towns, villages and cities share the same dynamics. Small communities are more aware of those dynamics than larger towns or cities. We see the same people many times over. We talk about happenings and realize how they affect us – as well as how we affect the happenings!

Our neighborhoods thrive when we thrive. If we work to make them good or even better, we recognize the cause and effect of those actions. Same with town business. If we read the newspaper and understand the issues, or are concerned about them, we have a voice in the discussions leading up to decisions that affect us. We even can vote on these issues from time to time. Certainly we vote frequently for the people we entrust with the business of our community. The Fire District people; the Library organization; the Park District and the City Council. Even the school board. We have voting rights and opportunities. We exercise them. Choosing a person to get our vote in an election is one thing; perhaps more important is understanding the issues those elected people will have authority over to exercise what they think is right, and how they should vote to support the well-being of the community. Those issues are connected. Understanding them is difficult.

Elected officials are confronted on three levels of reality. First are the facts of the situation – the operating considerations, personnel, costs, regulations, hoped for results; second are the personalities and professional viewpoints brought by the staff who work with the issues on a daily basis and understand how they function in the big picture sense; and third, the viewpoint and understanding of the electorate – the voting public.

Those three realities are very real. The problem arises when all three are out of kilter with one another. The staff feels the long view consideration demands action in one way, while the financial and regulatory obligations present difficult realities to live with, and the voters don’t understand all of that, and don’t feel they need to understand that. Yet stability of the community is best served if all three realities are brought into focus.

Voters elect people to handle their public business. They authorize the officials to act for them. A board of commissioners, or Library board of trustees or a city council is an elected board of directors charged with the responsibility and authority to act in the stead of the voters.

The elected are given a position of trust to act for us. We voters are given a position of trust to elect others to do our business. We are in trusts; both are. Voters need to understand issues and persons well enough to determine how well the business will be transacted over time.

These issues are not one time only. They exist in a continuum of time. Managing issues in the now will affect the future. How well we managed issues in the past defines the shape and urgency of the issues today. Consistency of action and intelligent application of knowledge over time makes a huge difference in public affairs.

We may not always agree with how elected officials vote in any one situation. They always will make some people happy and others not so!  That is the nature of public work. The yardstick on their performance is not in the present; it is in the longer term.

Also, the work of the elected official is not done; it continues. Voters do not always understand this. But they need to.

In the local community we can see the working parts of our community life up close and personal. In county, state and national ‘communities’ we cannot see the working parts so easily.  All the more reason to pay attention to the local scene.

That is a valuable piece of why our community is important to us. Are we paying attention?

January 22, 2014

Finding Solutions

In a seminar the other day I learned that 2.5% of people are considered innovators. They are the people who think up new ideas that eventually become new products or processes the rest of us adopt.

Then there are the folks who are early adopters, about 12.5% of the population. They are the ones who actively seek new things to use, buy and incorporate into their lives. Another 35% of folks are normal adopters and represent a lot of us in the main.  Late adopters comprise another 35% while 15% simply don’t respond until the product is no longer available! Even then they don’t always know what it is they are looking for!

Innovators are important to us. They pay attention to their surroundings. They analyze what is missing, what is needed, what results are desired and how all of that can come about with new ways of doing things.

Steve Jobs and his friends invented whole new ways of thinking and merging ideas with other ideas. From these experiments came new ideas and new processes. Whole new products and technologies emerged. Thinking outside the box was the crucial step they took to make these changes possible.

Innovation comes from trying new things. Invention comes from new ideas and old ideas, some pitted against each other to see what happens. To learn new things. To better understand the world that envelopes each of us. All of us. So we can live better with what is available.

That is how synthetic blood was invented to expand blood supplies when needed in emergencies, or to replace rare blood types when in very short supplies.

And synthetic human bone material to replace diseased or destroyed bone being removed by surgery.

Of course there are many other synthetic body parts that have been invented by people using very unusual methods of thinking and synthesizing ideas one with another. That’s how new things are discovered or invented.

We need this in our community. In our nation, too. That’s how our nation was created hundreds of years ago. A grand experiment which was tested and amended over many years. And we are still here. Stronger than ever if not better than ever!

Innovating takes courage to try new things. Courage to fail. Trust in self and others. Faith that good things will come from trying new things.

Throughout my life I've made many mistakes. But I have paid attention to the results. I analyzed these things closely so I could best understand what happened. More importantly I have repeated the actions to learn if the same results or different ones occurred. Intentional mistakes teach us things. Unintended mistakes teach us even more; but we have to stayed focused and realize a mistake has been made. What has it taught us?

Doing nothing, trying nothing, risking nothing is just another way of defining failure.

Yes. We need innovators. And early adopters. This is how changes are born, changes that are needed.

Same with governance. It takes conscious effort and action to find new things we need and can use. Until we do these things we are unaware of what we can do as a people, as a nation.

There are those who feel nothing much that is good will be done in government circles. I disagree. Emphatically. From a website entitled MyTime2Vote comes this quote:

            “We don’t need better politicians. We need more informed voters.”

To my way of thinking that is a very good thought! It takes effort for voters in a free democracy to understand issues, points of view and opinions. It is difficult to discern what is true. Even more difficult is determining what is important and what isn't. You know, we voters/citizens are pummeled by news media and political parties constantly trying to make us think one way or another, or vote one way or another. Truth be known, a lot of what they are spouting has nothing to do with what needs to be done. 

We are the deciders of what’s important. And we need to exercise that authority in voting, in discussing issues with others, and in reading and writing about issues. All so we understand the world around us.

Don’t sell your authority to others. They may not be worthy to own your authority. Here’s a thought that makes it a little clearer:

“The next time someone tells you that Obama is destroying the economy, remind them that the stock market and corporate profits are at all-time highs.  When they tell you that this hasn't helped them any, remind them they've just admitted that trickle-down economics doesn't work!”  ~Boom

All of this is open to debate. Debate, however, does not represent truth entirely. That is usually embedded in other layers of understanding we have to work to discover.

My advice?  Get busy. You need to do this. We all need you to do this for all of our sake!

January 21, 2014

Catching Glimpses

Are you an empathetic soul? Do you feel what another feels? I don’t mean sense what another is feeling but actually feel what they are feeling?

No, probably not. Maybe you do sense their feelings, but not in the full spectrum.

Someone asked me how I was doing the other day. He is aware of our particular difficulties and knows our journey is difficult. He knows we are frustrated. Even demoralized. But then he sees us smile, laugh and move on with life. So he wondered if we were doing OK or not. Hence his question.

My answer? A mixed response. We are OK. We hurt, of course, because we are still seeking a new home. Nothing much is happening on that score. Each move we take is trumped by a negative and we remain in the same position: looking.

Lesser options exist. That’s when the demoralizing happens. Ugly neighborhood. Aesthetic wilderness. High traffic and noise. Commercial neighbors. Institutional. Noisy building. Smells. Cranky plumbing. Bad parking, all outdoors and in the open to snow, ice, rain and…  You get the picture. Would you jump at the chance to move to a home just described?  I thought so!

Well, there is more to life. There are people, faith, spirits, each other, our dog(!) and the interests of the inner mind. We are busy. We look outwards. We seek the company of others and the activities that fuel our thinking, ideas, purposes of life, and all of that.

There are dimensions of living that are exquisite. They tantalize and beckon exploration. They provide the zest. Like humor does, we are drawn into more participation in the broader milieu and laugh. We taste the zest. It is free. For each of us. Unless the way is blocked by troubles that distract us.

Yes we are distracted but not for long. Maybe this is a human defense? Who is to know for certain?

Sharing time with someone over a cup of coffee or lunch is a time to connect. With them. Their life and struggles. The puzzles they are working on to settle, make sense of. At those times we may ‘catch a glimpse’ of what it is to be them.

Catch a glimpse? It may be a slight buzz we hear or feel, but it signals a vignette not our own. It is theirs. I may have just spotted a tiny speck of their inner life. Not completely in view but just a tiny snippet.

Is this empathy?  I’m not sure this counts as such. It is a start, though.

Understanding another person’s situation as though it is ours. That’s a good definition of empathy. There are other dimensions of course. We can tap those later if needed.

Through the eyes of others we understand the world. Through our own eyes we think we understand the world. But we don’t, do we? Our own experience is but one dimension. Understanding the world requires depth and breadth of experience, and that requires us to remove ourselves from ourselves.  We need to ‘step out’.

Experiencing life as others may experience it. That is the goal. It pulls us out of our own shell and base of experience, at least a little bit. The more we do this the more we can shed our skins of inner awareness. They are barriers to seeing the world as others see it.

Think about that. We have filters that are supposed to help us see things more clearly but in truth they bias the reception! The view is skewed and we not only see things unclearly, but we probably see things that are not there!

How then do we understand the plight of another and help them?  How do we construct and design programs to assist whole population segments that need society’s help? With unemployment, health crises, natural disasters that destroy homes, livelihoods and entire lives? How do we understand these things unless we are inside of those people living through the chaos?

Think of Hurricane Sandy and her aftermath on the East Coast last year? Think of Haiti’s continuing struggle to recover after its disastrous earthquake more than four years ago? And flood victims, Katrina’s communities? Forest fires, drought, scourge, whatever? Imagine what it is like to live in the Sudan? Or Libya, Syria, Lebanon, Israel or even Egypt.

Then move your focus to modern day America and sense what life is like in a home where unemployment and ill health have controlled a family’s existence for 4 years. What must it be like?

If we don’t know, or don’t even try to find out, then we can’t even begin to fix problems or address needs.  We do not know them. We cannot understand them.

This doesn't mean we don’t try. We must try. Our entire history is built on traditions of values that require us to try. These attempts are not free. They cost money, time and other resources. But it is in our social DNA to try. To feel. To empathize.

Are we up to this task? Do we all need to be hurting before we get back to the business of helping others in their hour of need?

If we don’t, what does that mean about our own lives and well-being? Are we being fully human?

Now there’s a challenge for public servants to conjure!

January 20, 2014

Thought for the Day

Sometimes we forget how reasonable and cooperative past political leaders have been. If you consider only their political party label – republican or democrat – you will miss what they really said and stood for.

Like President Eisenhower, who said:

“I have no use for those – regardless of their political party – who hold some vain and foolish dream of spinning the clock back to days when organized labor was huddled, almost as a hapless mass. Only a fool would try to deprive working men and women of the right to join the union of their choice.”

Does this quote surprise you?  If not, maybe you are too young to remember Ike? Maybe you were unaware that political party did not dictate gigantic differences in political ideology? At one time the political parties worked together for the common good of the American people. It would seem otherwise today!

And then the whole area of worker rights may seem foreign to modern day citizens. Not! Worker rights preceded the Civil Rights Movement, or the Anti-Vietnam War Movement. Worker rights have been a part of American history for as long as America has struggled with its independence. Same today, only disguised. Think minimum wage. Think standards of living. Think employment benefits. Think medical insurance. Think foreign competition, job losses to overseas employers, our own employers who have exported those same jobs to lower income regions.

Think about these things this weekend. Think about what needs to be done.

Whatever you do, think!

January 18, 2014

Sticks and Stones

So much chit chat. Everywhere. Over the phone, the radio, TV, computer. Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook, Tumblr. Opinions. Ideas. Thoughtful questions seeking answers. Ideas suggestive of interlocking synergies with other areas of inquiry.

Have you ever noticed how some questions simply unravel new meaning? Sort of like this poser: ‘Why did the founding fathers separate the powers of government?’ Or, ‘why were the founding fathers so pointed in their religious views?’ And, ‘what were the religious views of our forefathers?’

In answering those questions we encounter some startling facts. We learn views that we did not suspect to be in existence then.

The stunning idea here is this: Time helps us understand interconnected elements of an issue and thus the truer meaning of what happened and why.

Readers of this blog know that I was struck as a high school student by the teaching of a senior year history teacher. Miss Gifford told us over and over again that history is the story of Cause, effect, result. I have since learned again and again this is true. History is first a story, a recounting of events in a certain time period. But their importance lies in why they occurred, what effect those happenings had at the time, and what eventual effect they had much later. I have also learned that results continue for times and epochs. The story continues. The results move well into the unfolding future much like the ever broadening circle of ripples in the pond caused by the tossing of a stone.

I am reminded of President Lyndon B. Johnson from the mid-1960’s. Fifty years ago he was waging his War on Poverty in America. He desperately wanted to eliminate or at least soften the huge gap of living standards among fellow Americans. He recognized the existence of an enormous underclass of Americans. His work on the Civil Rights Act of 1964 prepared him for such a personal discovery. And his commitment to John Fitzgerald Kennedy after his assassination was to right the wrongs he now recognized throughout his beloved nation. A land of inalienable rights, and pursuit of happiness had come up tarnished. All was not well.

That realization had an effect then, and a result now. In the year 2014 America echoes the arguments for raising the minimum wage. The War on Poverty was needed in 1964. That war is incomplete and needs to continue. Raising the minimum wage is yet another symbol of inequality in our land. It needs to be eliminated.

Justice needed to be done in 1964. Justice still needs being done in 2014.

James Lipton of The Actors’ Studio TV program, famously asks his guests this question:

“If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?”

Chris Colfer the gay actor, who plays a gay character on the TV program Glee, answered that question from Lipton with these words:

            “Don’t listen to them, you get to come in too.”

Stark. Direct. A personal truth. Also a statement of justice.

The principles of civil rights will always be with us. Doing something about them will continue to be with us as well. Justice calls us every moment of every day. In our busy-ness of daily routine we miss that point all too often. We need reminding.

Anthony Douglas Williams offers this refreshing thought:

“We are here to heal, not harm. We are here to love, not hate. We are here to create, not destroy.”

I find those words empowering and comforting. They are a reminder. They are a commandment. These are things we ought to do. Not because they are easy. But because they are right. And needed.

Cause. Effect. Result. The cause remains. Past actions provided effects. The results are still unfolding. They need our efforts to retain the promise of our principles.

January 17, 2014

Lifestyles

How do you live on a day by day basis? What choices to you make and what plans do you prepare for experiencing life in the way you want to?  The size of your home, the neighborhood in which you invest the time of your generation? Or maybe diet and the foods you prepare. Or the clothes you choose to wear?

The Life Is Art Foundation provides these words of wisdom for us:

“I think everything in life is art. What you do. How you dress. The way you love someone and how you talk. Your smile and your personality. What you believe in and all your dreams. The way you drink your tea. How you decorate your home or party. Your grocery list. The food you make. How your writing looks. And the way you feel.”

Perhaps you didn't think of these things in this manner? Certainly they do not define you but in many ways you give them definition because of the way you live. How intentional is your lifestyle? And what are the major defining elements?

There is an art in living; but there is living in art, too. Art is meaning, finesse of ideas, expression of all our senses – sound, vision, feel, smell, touch – and the feeling of those same senses.

We live in a multicultural social environment. We exist with a multiplex of rules and regulations and expectations as well. Often we do not know what we are to do. But we muddle along, don’t we?

John Trudell gives us this thought:

“I’m just a human being trying to make it in a world that is very rapidly losing its understanding of being human.”

I think this is just cause for our search for both meaning and art. It humanizes us, and in major part we humanize everything else if we push for meaning and expression of our inner selves.

DailyFeelGood on Facebook gives us permission to be human:

“Notice: you are hereby allowed to be happy, to love yourself, to realize your worth, to believe in great things, and to be treated with love and respect.”

In fact, if we live this way we will be better partners to others who matter to us, and we will soften the world for others to live in it.

The Bible commands that ‘we love others as we would have them love us.’ We can’t love others very well if we don’t love ourselves. Do we have to allow ourselves to do this? Intentionally? Maybe so. You and I deserve love and respect but only if we know how to love and respect ourselves first.

And finally, Anthony Douglas Williams reminds us of this kernel of truth:

            “Kindness is not an act. It is a lifestyle.”

And that is a big point to make. Simple. Direct. True.

May we incorporate it in our daily living always. We can only hope it will be returned in kind over and over again until our end time.

January 18, 2014

The Ides of January!

The new year has begun. The Holidays are behind us. Winter plods along – with foul weather and thaw – forever reminding us that nature has power over us! But what will we do with this new year, this new opportunity to be better than we are at this moment?

Holly Skar, director of Business for a Fair Minimum Wage, reminds us:

“Remember that workers are also consumers, and the minimum-wage sets the floor under worker paychecks…We can’t build a strong economy with wages worth less than they were half a century ago.”

Seems logical. It is logical. Who would argue?

Seems plenty of people, but mostly those with inordinate power.  Bernie Sanders, Vermont Senator, reminds us:

“Today, virtually no piece of legislation can get passed unless it has the OK from corporate America.”

So the minimum wage battle goes on. It takes too much of our attention and accomplishes little. Fix the damn issue and move on to other items needing attention.

If we want all citizens to care for themselves, pay their own way and earn a living for the good of us all, why would we insist that they earn the minimum wage?  Seems to me the market should support higher rates of pay because they clearly are worth such. In turn those earnings are available to lubricate the wheels of the economy in all manner of rents, mortgages, utilities, food and other consumption as necessary. Without those earnings the economic engine is starved for lubricant!

Pope Francis reminds us:

“The promise was that when the glass was full, it would overflow, benefiting the poor.  But what happens instead, is that when the glass is full, it magically gets bigger – nothing ever comes out for the poor.”

If one segment of our society is hurting, we all hurt. If the foot develops an ache or soreness, the entire body hurts because of it. So too a body politic. So too an economy.

If one segment of the economy is in trouble, the balance of the engine is thrown off and inefficiency ensues.

Bernie Sanders, Independent Senator from Vermont has another quote worth sharing:

“At a time when long-term unemployment is near a record level, cutting benefits will hurt the rest of the economy and cause even more jobs to disappear.”

Of course this is true. It is logical. If the unemployment of millions of people is allowed to continue without help, the economic engine will continue to sputter.  Unemployment benefits are temporary. They are not permanent for the recipients. The benefits are there to help them transition from unemployment to re-employment. They are there to refuel families to be full fledged participants in the economy once again.

Some will argue the current unemployment situation has gone on far too long. It has. But that is not the fault of the unemployment benefit program. That is the fault of the economy itself. Something is not only out of kilter, it is seriously out of kilter of historic proportions.

I have written in an earlier blog of the re-calibration of the American economy. Our economy is not in a slump or cycle. It is in a major re-calibration of its inner workings. Witness:

            -Average household incomes declined several years in a row

            -Average wages and salaries declined several years in a row; they have been

 stagnant for several years

            -Entire industries have disappeared; new ones have emerged making the old

             ones obsolete; this is an historically recurring development, not alarming in

             itself unless you are a worker in a dying industry!

            -Housing has undergone a severe re-pricing. Instead of a continual appreciation

             of value, we have had historic drops in value; trillions of dollars of real estate

             value have been lost; they may be recovered in time but not in time for those

             who have already lost their homes or the ones who cannot afford to sell their

             home now and book a loss

            -Whole careers have disappeared while new ones are aborning; those in the

             transition don’t appreciate the distinction! But they must learn new ways of

             earning a living. The old job is not only gone but it will not reappear, too!

I need not continue in this vein. Suffice it to say we are not in a business cycle. This is not a boom and bust thing. Oh sure there is evidence of such, but I think the issues are too far reaching and too long lasting to be a simple up and down cycle. No; it is much more than that.

Twenty years from now we may wonder what the fuss was all about between 2000 and 2020. I think we will find it was epic. The trouble is, politics have been allowed to disguise this epic change to be something other than it is. Until we do recognize the difference, I fear we will not fix the right things.

And many will be lost because of it.  None of this needs to be so.

Shame on American democracy for allowing this to happen!

January 15, 2014

Who’s The Leader?

Funny thing about leadership, it requires followers. If someone is to lead, then others need to follow for that leader to be a leader.

Not all leaders have many followers. That doesn't make them non-leaders. It makes them ‘seers’ of possibilities. We call such people visionaries. They see things we need to see but often don’t. Some of these people are considered policy wonks. They are boring but the work they do and the ideas they consider are important to us.

Engineers are like that as well. They spot problems that their intelligent analysis and creativity can solve. Like a bridge sorely needed but at a most difficult location. How do we build a bridge there? Like adjacent to the Hoover Dam? Or across the rivers that make Manhattan an island? Or the tunnels beneath those same rivers?

Or distributing precious water resources to arid spaces of our nation? How did Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada and Southern California acquire needed water supplies?

They received them through collaborative work by Congress, state legislatures, and countless engineers. Water from the Colorado River and its tributaries and Rocky Mountain snow melt were diverted to dry lands where thirsty people lived. Soon crops and economic development thrived where the water was received.

It took leadership to make that happen. It took vision to make that happen. Someone had to get us to listen to the needs and the possible solutions. Over time we became followers so the leaders could do our work. And we benefited.

Newly installed Pope Francis reminds us:

We have created new idols. The worship of the ancient golden calf has returned in a new and ruthless guise in the idolatry of money and the dictatorship of an impersonal economy lacking a truly human purpose.”

Pope Francis sees a problem. He wonders about its dimensions. The why of the problem and the how are subject to his wonderment. He spots historical and theological parallels. He gets the connections. He envisions it. Now to do something about it! It will take a leader, or many. The Pope is our visionary here. He is seeking leaders to address the issues.

We have leaders or wannabes! What we really need are true leaders, the people who understand the needs, find the resources, and develop the ideas that will fix the problems, the needs. Trouble is we have too many wannabes who want the spotlight so keep that spotlight from settling on those who can get the job done.

Let us not lose the point here. A leader does this work because it is for the common good, not for his or her own credit. It is the issue they are concerned about.

The Marmel Page on Facebook shared these thoughts the other day:

“Republicans turned their back on the United States when they got a leader they did not like [President Obama]…

…did you really think they wouldn't turn their back on religion for the same `reason? [Pope Francis]”

It seems to me this quote is painfully accurate!

America has an education problem. Our current President and most of his predecessors agreed we have an education problem. But Congress and much of the American citizenry do not want to pay the cost of fixing the problem. That cost, by the way, may actually be less than what we are paying for public education already! But the fear is present. They do not wish to disturb the status quo for fear that it will cost us more to fix the problem.

The same is true about the economy. We know how to fix it. We know how much it will cost and how rich the payback will be when the problem is behind us, but we argue over how much in the short run it will cost us. We argue who’s ideas will survive the discussion! We fear who will get the credit for leading us through the mess to a better solution.

A dynamic nation requires a dynamic democracy. It is that democracy which gives trust and faith in the common governance of the land. However, we do not have a dynamic democracy at this point in time. We have a self-serving out of power second political party determined to gain power by any means. To do that they must demean the person voters placed in a position of leadership.

They are in danger of destroying the very treasure they profess to love – America.

It is high time democrats and republicans learn to talk with one another. And work together. And solve real problems that will help the nation.

Following the leader – whether you like him or not – will get us to the place we all need to be. We all need to be a part of the solution. For our own good. Else we are indeed part of the problem.

Killing off the leader harms us. It is also a colossal waste of potential. Meanwhile….

January 14, 2014

Goring Oxen

‘Whose ox is getting gored’ is an old time adage. It is akin to ‘follow the money’. If you don’t understand why someone is interested in a certain topic or perhaps a stubborn policy issue, then all we need do is understand his motivation. Does he have a financial stake in the issue? Does someone he cares about have a stake in the issue?

If you owned an ox in a third world country and that ox was your livelihood, you would be careful to protect the ox. If a public disturbance on the road ahead threatened the well-being of your ox, you’d be interested in safeguarding the ox. If public policy could hurt all oxen, then your ox is at risk. The issue doesn't matter to you unless it is your ox about to be harmed, or gored.

To put this in perspective consider Social Security. Congressman Rick Larsen of Washington, shares these facts with us:

“The average family pays a 6.2% Social Security tax rate. Someone who earns $1 million/year pays just .07%.”

If you are self-employed the Social Security tax is double – you pay for yourself as an individual earner, but you also pay the same thing as the employer. I have personally done it both ways. Then there was a long period of time (17 years) when I was the employee of a state university. It had a state-funded pension program to which I contributed 8% of gross earnings. It was a program that replaced Social Security in every way, but we did not pay into Social Security because the state program exempted us from it. However, every dollar I earned outside of the university was subject to the Social Security tax.

I mention this because most American citizens pay Social Security taxes at the full rate. A small percentage do not. They are the wealthiest among us. And they resent all taxes. They sense they are being told to pay for others in addition to themselves. AND they calculate they will not receive a return on their tax payments into the SSI system equal to what they have paid in. The rest of us will receive most of our ‘investment’ as paid benefits later in life. Maybe even more.

The wealthy or those who strive to become so, think differently. And they have lobbied and politicked hard to make changes. Those changes would protect them and their wealth. Those changes would hurt you. It is your ox in danger of being gored.

On the internet the other day was this quote:

“They aren't coming for your guns. They are coming for your Social Security check. Pay Attention!”

Pay attention, indeed! Many oxen are in danger. Yours is most likely one of them.

The principle at risk is public weal, the well-being of all citizens of a nation. Or a large group of them who’s combined health is in the best interest of us all. We would not want all elder citizens to be living in poverty. It would depress our public attitudes about our own culture, family members, and future prospects. It is not in the best interest of our society to have any large group of people suffer when we have the means to avoid it.

In particular Social Security protects us all, not just me. Not just the poor. Even the wealthy. Like public education we all benefit from good schools regardless of our age, wealth or childbearing capacities – past or present.

Common weal – the common good – is strengthened by an excellent network of roads and bridges. The network helps move people and goods in a society supporting a strong standard of living for all. We all benefit from the infrastructure of our nation and communities. So too Social Security.

We can argue the how of a program, not the why. Social Security works very well. It could be strengthened, indeed it ought to be strengthened. So too public education. It’s why is evident; it’s how is in need of re-engineering. Rather than patching the rickety education system, we need to redesign it completely for it to be healthy and effective in its purpose and functioning. For now it is doing its job but costing too much. Surely it can be done better for less treasure?

Some important discussions need to take place. It should not be political. The oxen belong to each and every one of us!

January 13, 2014

Thought for the Day

Will Rogers (1879 to 1935), was a cantankerous social comedian famous for taking pot shots at the rich and famous, especially politicians.  Here’s one of his quotes you might like:

“There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches.”

Admittedly, this quote was issued during the Great American Depression. A world of change was being engineered to minister to a vast population in hurt of joblessness, poverty and  very dim futures. Something had to be done. Many stood in the way. Social Security came from this era. Federal Income Tax came from this era as well. And welfare programs were experimented with an advanced to become the model of today’s programs.

People running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches. Indeed. We have many of them yet with us. Self appointed czars of propriety. Protectors of the rich. Distrusters of workers and common folk. Shameful stick-in-the-muds.

Hmmm. Give Rogers’ quote some time to percolate in your mind this weekend. Enjoy the early winter thaw. And see if you can engender hope for others.

Thanks.

January 11, 2014

Strength

Surviving this winter’s weather has been a challenge. Less so now than in year’s past. Then I commuted 4 hours a day, two hours each way, and it involved walking to and from the train station at both ends of the commute, standing and waiting for the train, riding a full and cramped public train car morning and night. And the walking. Snow drifts, bitter cold, numb feet, even number and more painful face! Those were challenging days. Today I peer out the window and am thankful that I no longer commute. Retirement does have its advantages!

Still we have to go to meetings and the grocery store, drug store and church. We are not hermits. We do venture out. Only now we have more choice in the matter. Even cancel attendance. We have the option to be a hermit when it matters greatly!

We also have the option – in retirement or not! – to be happy. Shakespeare has been quoted as saying:

“I always feel happy, you know why? Because I don’t expect anything from anyone. Expectations always hurt…Life is short…So love your life…Be happy and keep smiling. Just live for yourself and before you speak, listen; before you write, think; before you spend, earn; before you pray, forgive; before you hurt, feel; before you hate, love; before you quit, try; before you die, live.”

                                    ~www.facebook.com/BestEnglishQuotesSayings

Who knows if this is a true quote? It doesn't look right to me, but I do appreciate the thought. It is also an excellent parallel to the Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi.

Both of these thoughts tell us we have some control over our life. We can choose to be happy! We can choose to turn the other cheek and avoid anger and distress. All too often we cannot avoid the pitfalls inevitably thrust in our path. But we can choose to not let them affect us as much as they do.  Easy to say, right? Difficult to do. You bet!  Especially for me. I am notoriously easy to rile. Mellow is not my middle name!!

This quote from the internet comes just in time:

When you try to control everything, you enjoy nothing. Relax, breathe, let go and just live.”    -Author Unknown

In the final analysis we can’t control everything, but we can control our reaction to most everything.

Another anonymous quote:

“It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full…be grateful that you  have a glass, and there is something in it.”

Be grateful. For what we have. For the trials we don’t have presently. For who is in our life. Just be grateful. Not an easy behavior to excite at times, but one which enriches us when we do! Exercise gratefulness. Good health or reasonably good health. Feeling good at times as opposed to feeling aches, pains and dread. Suspend worry. Do without it as much and as often as possible.

Here’s a quote I like on this subject:

“Worry is a total waste of time. It doesn't change anything. All it does is steal  your joy and keeps you very busy doing nothing.” – Anonymous

Again, this is filled with wisdom but hard to live by. We can lessen worry by preparing for the negative elements of life. Care should be taken, however, that we don’t over plan or else we replace planning with worrying. Not much else gets accomplished, right?

I’m reminded of those that endlessly find fault with things. If they used that time to develop solutions to things they find fault with, they might just change the outcomes of countless millions of people. And for themselves as well!

From the Bully Project comes this quote:

            “Be gentle. Fill yourself up with love instead of hate;

            Fill yourself up with art, books, knowledge, experiences;

            Surround yourself with people who have nothing to give but love;

            These things are important; they will help you learn how to love.”

From these efforts comes strength. Bit by bit. Day by day. To be revisited as often as we need. But like the final sip of orange juice at breakfast, a pleasant reminder of good things we can call back over and over again: Strength. To live. And to love by.

January 10, 2014

Bully Pulpit

Theodore Roosevelt, the feisty Republican President (1901 to 1909) coined the term ‘bully pulpit’. The term refers to the use of position and public celebrity to advance a public argument of some value or another. At any given time the President of the United States has the attention of a broad audience. He can use that attention to bring awareness to a topic that should hold importance for the nation.  War and peace are such topics. So are public education, conservation and a host of other topics.

Today I wish to use this blog to talk about bullying. I will use the bully pulpit of this blog to talk about bullying.

Yehuda Berg provides our first quotation for consideration:

“Hurt people hurt people. That’s how pain patterns get passed on, generation after generation after generation. Break the chain today. Meet anger with sympathy, contempt with compassion, cruelty with kindness. Greet grimaces with smiles. Forgive and forget about finding fault. Love is the weapon of the future.”

A great starting point! People with hurt and pain transfer it to others, then to yet more others. A chain reaction of hurting. The damaged person feels anger and pushes it away toward another person. The loop of agony spirals ever forward to yet unmet people. And at times we wonder why crime exists, or violence, abuse, even a plain old street fight.

The pattern numbs society at large and we tolerate heightened levels of violence and crime. We escape it day to day. The violent crime reports happen to other people and not to us so we feel fortunate or lucky. Until that day crime touches our life. Perhaps it is a stolen bicycle from a store room in the apartment building where you live. Maybe it is a scratched car, a key pressed deep into your paint so it leaves an ugly scar meant to intimidate you, insult your, violate your personal sense of security.

Maybe it is a traffic accident caused by thoughtless aggressive driving by another? Or maybe it is a clearly intentional bullying move by a driver directed right at you!  A waved middle finger is one such form, but more sinister is the fellow who blocks you at an intersection by simply not advancing through the intersection, and then follows you to your destination – to a store or restaurant parking lot?

Of course we awaken to the threat in a hurry. We feel threatened. The suspicion fades as fear leaps to consciousness!

In some way the aggressor senses weakness in the other; perhaps it is only weakness perceived by the other because of civil behavior, shyness, or whatever. But weakness perceived is all it takes. The bully pounces!

Leo Buscaglia shared this idea:

            “Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong.”

One can hope this is true. I am gentle. But I am shy. I have viewed the shy as weakness, but perhaps Buscaglia is right? I am adaptive to change and threat. I have survived long. But can I prevail in the face of bullying? Do jerks who prey on others actually feel stronger because of their antics? What drives them to this behavior? A fear of inner weakness maybe? A sense of inferiority? Probably. This, I think, is where Buscaglia is coming from and where I think the truth lies.

I’m not sure how I found this next quote! But I think it fits nicely here.  From Facebook.com/TheHolyBibleBookpage comes this thought:

“Today will never come again. Be a blessing. Be a friend. Encourage someone. Take time to care. Let your words heal, and not wound.”

Good advice to counter bullying. It helps those who have been bullied. It may also move someone away from being the bully. After all if a weak person sees himself as being a blessing to another, the weakness pales and strength emerges. Check the opening quote at the top of this posting:

“Meet anger with sympathy, contempt with compassion, cruelty with kindness. Greet grimaces with smiles. Forgive and forget about finding fault. Love is the weapon of the future.”  - Yehuda Berg

The prescription to fight bullying is to fight fire with kindness. It defangs the monster!

When it gets right down to it, Dr. Seuss had the best words on the subject:

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who matter don’t mind, and those that mind, don’t matter.”

Getting past the mark is the challenge. To be yourself one must be able to ignore those who threaten us. How much of that is within us? How much control do we have over the bully? Perhaps a great deal. In the long run Dr. Seuss had the right idea! Now to live it.

January 9, 2014