Bully Pulpit

Theodore Roosevelt, the feisty Republican President (1901 to 1909) coined the term ‘bully pulpit’. The term refers to the use of position and public celebrity to advance a public argument of some value or another. At any given time the President of the United States has the attention of a broad audience. He can use that attention to bring awareness to a topic that should hold importance for the nation.  War and peace are such topics. So are public education, conservation and a host of other topics.

Today I wish to use this blog to talk about bullying. I will use the bully pulpit of this blog to talk about bullying.

Yehuda Berg provides our first quotation for consideration:

“Hurt people hurt people. That’s how pain patterns get passed on, generation after generation after generation. Break the chain today. Meet anger with sympathy, contempt with compassion, cruelty with kindness. Greet grimaces with smiles. Forgive and forget about finding fault. Love is the weapon of the future.”

A great starting point! People with hurt and pain transfer it to others, then to yet more others. A chain reaction of hurting. The damaged person feels anger and pushes it away toward another person. The loop of agony spirals ever forward to yet unmet people. And at times we wonder why crime exists, or violence, abuse, even a plain old street fight.

The pattern numbs society at large and we tolerate heightened levels of violence and crime. We escape it day to day. The violent crime reports happen to other people and not to us so we feel fortunate or lucky. Until that day crime touches our life. Perhaps it is a stolen bicycle from a store room in the apartment building where you live. Maybe it is a scratched car, a key pressed deep into your paint so it leaves an ugly scar meant to intimidate you, insult your, violate your personal sense of security.

Maybe it is a traffic accident caused by thoughtless aggressive driving by another? Or maybe it is a clearly intentional bullying move by a driver directed right at you!  A waved middle finger is one such form, but more sinister is the fellow who blocks you at an intersection by simply not advancing through the intersection, and then follows you to your destination – to a store or restaurant parking lot?

Of course we awaken to the threat in a hurry. We feel threatened. The suspicion fades as fear leaps to consciousness!

In some way the aggressor senses weakness in the other; perhaps it is only weakness perceived by the other because of civil behavior, shyness, or whatever. But weakness perceived is all it takes. The bully pounces!

Leo Buscaglia shared this idea:

            “Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong.”

One can hope this is true. I am gentle. But I am shy. I have viewed the shy as weakness, but perhaps Buscaglia is right? I am adaptive to change and threat. I have survived long. But can I prevail in the face of bullying? Do jerks who prey on others actually feel stronger because of their antics? What drives them to this behavior? A fear of inner weakness maybe? A sense of inferiority? Probably. This, I think, is where Buscaglia is coming from and where I think the truth lies.

I’m not sure how I found this next quote! But I think it fits nicely here.  From Facebook.com/TheHolyBibleBookpage comes this thought:

“Today will never come again. Be a blessing. Be a friend. Encourage someone. Take time to care. Let your words heal, and not wound.”

Good advice to counter bullying. It helps those who have been bullied. It may also move someone away from being the bully. After all if a weak person sees himself as being a blessing to another, the weakness pales and strength emerges. Check the opening quote at the top of this posting:

“Meet anger with sympathy, contempt with compassion, cruelty with kindness. Greet grimaces with smiles. Forgive and forget about finding fault. Love is the weapon of the future.”  - Yehuda Berg

The prescription to fight bullying is to fight fire with kindness. It defangs the monster!

When it gets right down to it, Dr. Seuss had the best words on the subject:

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who matter don’t mind, and those that mind, don’t matter.”

Getting past the mark is the challenge. To be yourself one must be able to ignore those who threaten us. How much of that is within us? How much control do we have over the bully? Perhaps a great deal. In the long run Dr. Seuss had the right idea! Now to live it.

January 9, 2014