Perplexities

There are times that perplex. There are times that don’t. I think I’m in the perplexed stage.

Let me explain. All that we have been through these past few years, especially this past year alone – home foreclosure, trying to find affordable senior housing, bankruptcy, short selling the house, but not quite over, ever – then moving to an apartment.

It’s a nice apartment. Beautiful, actually. Just the right size for us – 1140 square feet, all on one level, made of solid concrete so its quiet and solid – two bedrooms, two full baths, an in-unit laundry. But there’s more: spacious kitchen fully equipped and ample enough for a small dining area plus breakfast counter. The living/dining room is open and bright as well with its own balcony for the grilling and sitting in the sun. Next to the front door is a walk in guest closet that is actually a store room for all manner of things including racks for kitchen counter top appliances when not in use. To boot we have a storage locker down the hall, a shared garbage chute very near by, plus an elevator to the mail room, lobby and heated garage with even more storage space.

All in all the new apartment is perfect for us. And we moved in. And we are settling in, still have a little more to do, but the bulk of the hard work is over.

And then, Rocky gets sick. Or some organs are not working correctly. Doesn't appear he has a contagious illness like the flue, just vague complaints of chest pain, acid re-flux, nausea, diarrhea, sweats, gross lack of energy and no appetite.

We did the emergency room routine after calling his doctor’s office, just to be sure he wasn’t prepping for a heart attack or stroke. Nix on both of those. No, for all the world it seemed he was having a repeat gall bladder attack. Only thing is, his gall bladder had been removed last October!  So that clearly was not the problem. Everyone doubts appendicitis. Blood work indicates no liver or kidney issues. Urine work details no problems there either. Anemia, but that could be caused by a host of issues, most likely an internal bleeding process that reabsorbs the blood without involving urine or stool evidence.

So, tests for pancreas chemistry, and a probably need for an endoscopy (a scope down the esophagus and stomach) for a direct look-see. So far we await more consultations before the tests are performed. Then the scheduling of the tests that are approved. Time to think about the aches and pains, the medical events about to take place. Time to worry and obsess.

And that’s where we are now. Obsessing on what might be and whether we have a big problem ahead or not. Not knowing. That alone is a large problem. And the subsequent worry.

So much has happened in the past 24 months. Finally that is behind us. And the transition from old to new home was managed. Not entirely easy but it was managed with the help of lots of family and friends. All that is left is really getting settled into a new routine, and one we imagined to be simpler and easier to maintain and live.

But now there is this complication of health. Suddenly doing the laundry, cleaning the house, walking the dog, paying bills and organizing daily activities is a big deal. Not simple. Not easily handled as we had imagined.

No; it is complicated. And painful. And frustrating. The peace of the home is threatened. It is definitely upset.

More on this stage of life as we learn how to cope with it.

April 21, 2014