Saying Another Goodbye

Memorial service last Saturday afternoon for Judy Keeney (April, 1944 to November, 2017). She and husband Ed Sommer had been members of our Warrenville, Illinois church for some years. Both in failing health, Judy moved Ed to a continuing care facility near her family in Portland, Oregon. She moved in with a daughter and grandkids. Both Ed and Judy lived in Portland since 2016. It was a hard adjustment for them and all of their friends in Warrenville, too.

Judy was a talented, loving, intelligent woman. A professional actress, classically trained pianist, and mother of three from her first marriage. She was one of those people who found joy and interest in most everything. She did things, tried things, and read widely. She thought through complicated issues and engaged others in conversation. She changed peoples’ lives with her infectious humor and easy personality.

Her family planned her memorial service. They brought it to Trinity Lutheran Church in Warrenville where Judy and Ed had been very happy. The remembrances were notable and memorable. Humorous, too. A family well attuned to the world and the times. Just like Judy nurtured them to be!

In the pew bulletin for Judy’s service were these two quotes. Her children knew they described Judy to a T. The first quotation is from Erma Bombeck:

            “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a  single bit of talent left and could say, I used everything you gave me.”

The second quotation is from Leo Buscaglia:

            “To laugh is to risk appearing the fool. To weep is to risk being called sentimental. To reach out to another is to risk involvement. To expose feelings is to risk showing your true self. To place your ideas and your dreams before the crowd is to risk being called naïve. To love is to risk not being loved in return. To live is to risk dying. To hope is to risk despair, and to try is to risk failure.

            But risks must be taken because the greatest risk in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live. Chained by his attitudes, he’s a slave, he’s forfeited his freedom.

            Only the person who risks is truly free.”

The Bombeck and Buscaglia quotes are perfect for Judy. She was  a renaissance person well read, beautifully educated and deeply involved in life. She taught her children well, saw to their education – both secondary and college. She gave her kids freedom to explore life so they could make a life uniquely their own. No copy cats in the Keeney home.

Judy was a keen thinker, too; she weighed in on public opinions and critiqued those that were not well thought out. She was not opinionated but a worker of opinions to discern fact and truth.

We miss Judy, and Ed, too, now that Portland is his home. But both are in our minds and present in our lives through memories. We will remember long and fondly the quality of interactions they both provided their friends. Judy’s insightful conversations will remain a light in our room of memories of her.

Bless you Judy, and Ed, and all the Sommers-Keeneys. You were blessed with a special person in your lives. Ours, too.

January 18, 2018