Challenges

Coping skills. When do they kick in? Why are they needed? Are these skills up to the task? When do we know when we need help with them?


All good questions. I bet you and I don’t usually think of them. Only when we are challenged by something. The car breaks down. It won’t start. Worse, it stops working while on a highway far from home. Or the refrigerator loses its cool and the freezer begins thawing. The furnace quits on a very cold day, or the air conditioning conks out during a hot and humid weather.


What do you do in the instant? Anything?  How does your mind work through solutions or possible actions? Is there a panic at first, resignation later, or an active solving process engaged? Do you have a cell phone handy? If so, who do you call? What do you need from them?


Years ago, I had four cars in the household. It was great. If one of the cars didn’t work, or was tied up in a repair shop, we had options. Later, when there were only two of us in the household and we each had a car, we relied on the other to come retrieve us and help supervise getting help. Cell phones made the emergency much more manageable.


Coming home from a 9-day trip, I returned to a widespread power outage during a hot streak of weather. Storms had roared through and the power company was still working to restore power. It took two days. Meanwhile, what did we do? We went to a local hotel, and luckily personal relationships in the Chamber of Commerce snagged us a good room at a discount.


Ill health is a challenge not easily handled, especially if no fix is available, or if the fix requires major surgery and lifelong changes we adapt to. Ageing is a challenge. We change to fit circumstances. It is that simple. These challenges are special; they provide a specter of ongoing troubles leading to an unhappy future. How do we cope with all of this?


Social issues affecting us personally, or people close to us among our family or friends, have special meaning for us. We follow those issues in the press. We think of solutions and ideal outcomes over time. We may even become activists in a cause to urge positive change. Without those actions, how would we cope?


Self-image is a challenge. Are we attractive to others or not? Is our personality engaging and pleasant? Am I viewed as a push-over or a harsh person to deal with? Do people readily trust me? Like me? Whatever? Is this important? Am I creating a problem that doesn’t exist? Why do I care?


Coping skills steer our way through difficulties. We find ways to make the best of negative situations. Later we even learn to laugh about them. Working through the problems and challenges positively takes discipline and flexibility. We do not control the future. We don’t have all the answers. We live and learn. Sometimes our journeys are long and very complicated. In those very hard times we usually have help from family and friends.


It is times such as those we realize we are not alone, and community embraces us. If it doesn’t, perhaps we didn’t let others know of our needs? Perhaps we haven’t been engaged in the community to be known? Whatever, humankind is a social context. Best we develop coping skills worthy of that lifesaving context.


July 17, 2019