The uncivil society in which we live is something else. Used to be conversations in the school yard, on the bus, among friends at a party or in a diner, were private, jocular and filled with euphemisms and vernacular terms. We said ‘ain’t’, ‘dork’, and ‘spick’. We had names for Jews, Catholics, Bronx Indians and a host of other people we didn’t really know.
At times I had to ask my brother and sister for help understanding the terms. I didn’t dare ask my parents! God no! My siblings usually knew what the terms meant so I wasn’t in the dark for long. But I usually didn’t use the terms because I was never quite certain of their meaning and correct usage. Besides, these words seemed unfair and mean.
Of course, correct usage is not a thing in this case. These terms were awful then and more so now. We know so much more of our language and its derivative meanings. We know when social norms are being broken. It just seems that those norms are broken more frequently today, and in growing horror of intent. Many mean to mean.
American social norms exist on at least two basic levels. One is the vernacular and the other is proper. The first is idiomatic and sloppy; casual and slangy. It isn’t meant to be proper but then that’s when bigotry is allowed its freedom of expression.
Proper is the polite language we speak of in front of audiences, print in the newspaper, utter in news reports on TV, radio and internet. These are the norms of proper society.
Trouble is, the internet has exposed the vernacular as everyday language seeping into the proper.
Counterpoint language accuses others of bigotry while being bigoted at the same moment. Perhaps that is the modern definition of incivility.
Whatever it is, anti-Semitic, anti-Christian, anti-Hispanic, anti-Black or African-American, Asian, or any other nationality, it is just plain wrong. Separating people by religious belief or expression, by nationality, by region of residency, or by any other differentness, is bigotry and unworthy of us.
Political talk is sassy today. As awful as it has become, we are inured to it being worse and becoming so. People get away with this. Like being caught lying, nasty public discourse is allowed and laughed at. Public rallies are filled with such rhetoric. Even highly placed elected officials are guilty of this sagging social norm. They even get elected because of their use of the vernacular.
Beware: such behavior lowers our own value standards. Where we might get away with it in our own nation, it will not and does not play well in the international arena.
International relations require proper language and manners. We have brought meanness, trickery and lying to this arena because the officials couldn’t tell the difference between vernacular and proper. It has debased America’s reputation and trustworthiness accordingly. Slipping standards at home do not mean they are OK slipping away from home.
Yes, beware. All of us as we pen or utter thoughts without choosing words carefully. We might just be understood to be something we don’t like.
November 11, 2019
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