Challenging Days, Continued

Well, the saga of a family falling apart continues. I'm in the middle of it but that will end today. Here's a recap:

Monday, the father falls and breaks his hip. Tuesday, underlying conditions make surgery dangerous. Wednesday, he improves, stabilizes and surgery to repair the hip is accomplished. Thursday, he begins the process of healing and therapy to learn how to walk with the new hip. Friday is today. If he does really well, he will be moved to a convalescent facility for more therapy and medical follow up for the surgical site. [His other conditions: liver and kidney function low; abdominal fluid collecting from unknown cause; emphysema and bronchitis]

Today is Friday of the same week. Patient's wife has been in my custody since all of this began. She is in stage 3 or 4 dementia. Cannot be left alone because she wanders and gets lost. Doesn't remember recent events or event a minute of the past. It's like being an adult friend to a very young child.

Yet, this same person has a fabulous and interesting life history. Her mind is beautiful and alive. She recounts the past richly, and it is a posh story. Robert Redford, Tennessee Williams, Harrison Ford, Roger Moore, Mary Tyler Moore, and so many other actor greats. The stories are truly memorable and factual. But dementia destroys her connection to today. Even her intellectual brilliance is special. She is a great conversationalist. But, once the conversation thread is broken, she doesn't know who she is, where she is, or what is happening.

An hour or two is quaint. four full days of it is exhausting. And I admit it; I am totally done in.

So, picking up the pieces, here is what needs to be done. The social workers at the hospital hasve worked on this case for two days now. The county social worker is now deeply involved. They are working to find a place for the patient - the father - so he can continue to heal from surgery while getting the physical therapy he needs to return to self sufficient life skills like walking, household chores, and caring for his wife with dimentia.

And the social workers are trying to find a place for the wife so she can remain with him. That is a very tall order. Most probably, she will need to go to elder respite while he is healing. That means she will be in a special medical facility apart from her husband.

Meanwhile, their 35-year old son is an alcoholic with underlying psychological problems. He is currently in a Chicago behavioral hospital for safe keeping. A daughter who knows this entire case, is a single mother of three, owns and operates two businesses, and is totally engaged and busy in her day to day existence. She does that well to the point of exhaustion. She cannot care for her mother because she is already caring for two businesses, the employees, and her three kids. All alone.

The daughter texted me overnight that she suffered a high blood pressure event and was hospitalized for that condition. She is a young woman who suffered a stroke in the recent past while delivering her last baby.

So, the toll continues. The family is fully using the social services network as explained above. There are three more adult children involved, but they refuse to be involved. And there resides even more of the tragedy of this American family. Where it all ends no one knows, of course. It is just another day in the life of a tragedy unfolding.

This is know: I will do my computer work, then shower and shave, grab breakfast and take the wife to the hospital to spend time with her husband. While there, I will turn her case over to the hospital social workers and arrange my departure from this case.

I will return home and attempt to reorder my life. I will also pray that this gifted family finds its way through this awful set of circumstances.

A passing thought worth stating: God bless medical workers who can and do work through this tragedy every day!


Meanwhile, a tired Samaritan wants his nap!


March 13, 2020