Saying Goodbye

A loved one dies, passes in the night. A friend or family member you have been close to for years is no longer available. No phone call to make and have answered. No return letter, email, or tweet. They are not there to respond. But they remain in our hearts and minds.

Remembering them is key to saying goodbye. Their face lit with a smile long remembered. Her eyes twinkling while saying something you did not want to hear. The joke she uttered when you least expected it. The hug and caress you needed she gave you. Freely and without expectation.

The favorite dinner, dish, appetizer, or dessert seemingly always there when you needed it. The family dinners and birthday gatherings. Holidays, too. She was there when you needed her. She was there to listen to your dark times and doubts.

These personal bits and pieces of the individual are part of our lives, have been for years unknown and unlisted. With her gone, they remain. They are her connection to you in so many ways.

The her here is Marilyn Drozdik, mother of many, friend of more and personality to a wide expanse of colleagues and friends. She died Friday night, August 20, 2021, in her sleep at 79 years of age. Her visitation was Tuesday, August 24 and her funeral mass on August 25. Hundreds attended. She will be missed but also remembered.

Saying goodbye is a two-way street. We tend to forget that. She said goodbye to us as much as we say goodbye to her. Still, she lives on in our hearts and memories.

Add this experience to those you have loved and still do. Your dad, uncle, aunt, brother, sister, grandparents and so many more. We yearn to say goodbye to them when we are thousands of miles apart from them. Yet the distance does not matter. It is the thinking, the knowing and feeling that matters. We say goodbye in our own way. On our own time. In our special places.

The hurt is the void making its presence known. Each of us finds a way to deal with it. It is natural and expected. It is part of life that makes us whole. The reality becomes evident: we cannot have life without death, nor can we have death without life. The two are immutable.

We grow stronger knowing this. We are more because of them even as we say goodbye.

August 26, 2021