Say It Ain’t So!

The uncivil society in which we live is something else. Used to be conversations in the school yard, on the bus, among friends at a party or in a diner, were private, jocular and filled with euphemisms and vernacular terms.  We said ‘ain’t’, ‘dork’, and ‘spick’. We had names for Jews, Catholics, Bronx Indians and a host of other people we didn’t really know.


At times I had to ask my brother and sister for help understanding the terms.  I didn’t dare ask my parents!  God no! My siblings usually knew what the terms meant so I wasn’t in the dark for long. But I usually didn’t use the terms because I was never quite certain of their meaning and correct usage. Besides, these words seemed unfair and mean.


Of course, correct usage is not a thing in this case. These terms were awful then and more so now. We know so much more of our language and its derivative meanings. We know when social norms are being broken. It just seems that those norms are broken more frequently today, and in growing horror of intent. Many mean to mean.


American social norms exist on at least two basic levels. One is the vernacular and the other is proper. The first is idiomatic and sloppy; casual and slangy. It isn’t meant to be proper but then that’s when bigotry is allowed its freedom of expression.


Proper is the polite language we speak of in front of audiences, print in the newspaper, utter in news reports on TV, radio and internet. These are the norms of proper society.


Trouble is, the internet has exposed the vernacular as everyday language seeping into the proper.

Counterpoint language accuses others of bigotry while being bigoted at the same moment. Perhaps that is the modern definition of incivility.


Whatever it is, anti-Semitic, anti-Christian, anti-Hispanic, anti-Black or African-American, Asian, or any other nationality, it is just plain wrong. Separating people by religious belief or expression, by nationality, by region of residency, or by any other differentness, is bigotry and unworthy of us.


Political talk is sassy today. As awful as it has become, we are inured to it being worse and becoming so. People get away with this. Like being caught lying, nasty public discourse is allowed and laughed at. Public rallies are filled with such rhetoric. Even highly placed elected officials are guilty of this sagging social norm. They even get elected because of their use of the vernacular.


Beware: such behavior lowers our own value standards. Where we might get away with it in our own nation, it will not and does not play well in the international arena.


International relations require proper language and manners. We have brought meanness, trickery and lying to this arena because the officials couldn’t tell the difference between vernacular and proper. It has debased America’s reputation and trustworthiness accordingly. Slipping standards at home do not mean they are OK slipping away from home.


Yes, beware. All of us as we pen or utter thoughts without choosing words carefully. We might just be understood to be something we don’t like.


November 11, 2019

Creating the Good

Many of you are aware that I mentor entrepreneurs in forming their own small businesses. That also includes small firms that have met with challenges and need help to overcome them so they can stay in business. The common denominator here is small business. One to a handful of employees defines small. The dollar flow of sales or asset accumulation are not the benchmarks we focus on. It is the mission and vision of the firm, checking the need for it to exist, will it be competitive, and what will it take to make it a reality?


These are the core questions. But there is another key question: will you be a for profit or a nonprofit?


This is not something most people think about. I do because I have spent most of my career in nonprofit organizations.  I didn’t do this on purpose. It just happened. When it did, I was embraced by a world of good things happening. I remained in this environment for a lifetime.


Mission is critical. Why does this organization exist? What will it attempt to accomplish and why?

Creating good outcomes for others is the common mission statement. There are particulars of course, like through education, or housing the homeless, or empowering the undereducated, helping women achieve their full potential, expanding awareness to the general public of……  And so on. You get it.


Once we nail down the mission, we focus on a vision statement.  What will be happening 15 years from now (or more) if our mission has been successful?  What impact will our organization have?  You see the wisdom of this, don’t you?  It is not about what we want to do, or why; it is about the impact if our work is successful.


Note, please, this has to do about the effect on others; not the self. And that’s the whole point about nonprofits.


A world of good comes from the many people who devote their lives to nonprofit organizations.  It is an amazing array of activity, accomplishment and devotion. All good things. All good outcomes.


In my work (all volunteer) I am constantly in touch with people who want to create their own nonprofit, or already have a small one that needs help to progress. Their energy and commitment to their mission is a reminder that people are good and do good things for others. They may earn a living doing this, but that is not the point of their commitment. No, their point is to solve a social problem, help someone in trouble, or help others make the most of their talents and abilities.


Thank God these people populate our communities and nation.


For those who continually think negatively about America, or their city or state, know that good people exist among us doing good work. And these are private people, doing private work for private beneficiaries in need. All without taxpayer money, or mostly without it.  Yes some programs are able to access state and federal funding for a portion of their work. But if our people didn’t have the interest to do the work, the taxpayer funding would not be used for the good. The government simply cannot do everything for everybody. It requires you and I to do this work. A little help with the costs is appreciated.


So, smile! We have much to be thankful for. Others are working hard to make this a better world. Perhaps you as well?


November 8, 2019

Imbalances

Political discussion these days centers on power and money. Below the surface, however, are the specifics of individuals, there needs, their abilities to self-sustain their lives, the health and wealth of the nation and each of its component communities.


There is an unspoken balance needed in all things – pleasure versus work, love/hate, wealth/poverty, economic equilibrium or crashing chaos, power to a few versus misery to many, and wealth to many while others go begging for the basics.


Whatever we do as a person, company or organization, the well-being of our community and its citizens should be held in high focus. Why? Because the overall health of the community, indeed the nation, relies on everyone having opportunity, meaningful life pursuits, and rewards consistent with their interests without harming others.


If society is in gross imbalance, societal problems erupt and grow in menace to the security and order of the rest of society.  Some examples:

1.      Homelessness creates disorder, messy lives, crumbling property values, sick people without access to healthcare services

2.      Poor education leads to an imbalance in employability and adaptability to changes in the labor pool and so much more

3.      Unbalanced economic markets create greed and uneven distribution of wealth; it demeans the underperforming and over-rewards those already graced with plenty

4.      Power imbalances create voids and struggles that may lead to the instability of the social order. Violence may follow. Unnamed and expensive problems are surely creatures of this condition

5.      Vision and invention untended by the status quo limits opportunities and innovation

These are just a few. Some people may aspire to wealth and elite status. Once there, however, one wonders what reward they truly gain. Do they quickly become self-centered, self-satisfied and bored? What then follows in their lives?


Imbalances are best treated with broad minds and outward bound interests. Serving others broadens minds, builds creativity and strengthens community bonds. Not treating the imbalance only builds narrow retreats in the mind of similar thinking and suspicion of others. Not a healthy alternative.


What works at the local level doesn’t necessarily work on a national scare. However, if communities are strong, then regions, states and the nation get a boost as well. Best we pay attention to balance so we are healthy and aware of the basics in life.


Now that is a good definition of wealth and health, too.


November 7, 2019

Problem Blaming

I have friends that grumble a lot. It matters not that we are on an errand, or going to a meal out. Casual conversation leaps readily to a social problem and an opinion on why something isn’t done about it? You know the type. He or she always has a point of view that attacks something in the public. An intersection is poorly designed, or has a flaw that needs correction. Instantly the local authorities are blamed for the problem. Why didn’t they see that and do something about it? Or, a local land development succeeds and creates traffic congestion. Why didn’t the planners see that coming? Why didn’t they prepare for the congestion and have a plan to manage it? What were they thinking? Or not?!


Oh, “and the schools these days, why don’t the teachers straighten these kids out?”


Yes, hindsight is usually 20/20. And the speaker isn’t one bit attached to the problem before, during or after. He leaves that work for someone else and then jumps on them when perfection is missed.


Meanwhile, others are making a tasty public stew from whatever local resources are on hand. If more resources are needed, they look for it elsewhere and corral such benefits to serve the community. Grants from the federal or state governments are examples of such resources. Also, private entities may be interested to partner with the project and share in the cost, risks and rewards. This is the work that makes good things happen for a community.


When they do, reality sets in an uncovers natural flaws. The local authorities go back to the planning table and study the problem, its causes and effects, and create possible solutions. In full view of onlookers, they discuss the solutions and costs, and decide on the course of action required. The emergent problems from the past project are thus attended to. It takes time, but the right thing gets done eventually. Inputs from everyone are welcomed and considered.


This is our form of government. Usually on the local level. Open for all to see. In the main it works pretty well.


That doesn’t stop the negative folk from sharing their statements of blame and characterizing the authorities as dumb, lazy or worse, corrupt.


It’s OK to speak one’s mind. It’s OK to identify problems. It is not OK to characterize others as the person to blame.


It is our job as citizens to come up with ideas that are good and make the community better. Or state. Or nation. We have the responsibility to be a collaborative partner in our own government. That’s what it means to be OF, FOR and BY the PEOPLE. Be a cheerleader. Be an idea person. Share your thoughts, both insightful and analytical.


But also be willing to be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem.


It is OK to point out flaws and defects; but what is your idea to solve that same defect?


Hmmm?  And then how do we go about doing just what you suggested? Can you lend a hand to this process?


November 6, 2019

Not News

In the old days – pre trump – when the President spoke, media listened. The assumption then was a President’s message was important for the whole nation to know. Such instances were rare. TV networks broke into their normal programming to cover such events. Those interruptions were few and few minutes in length.


Not today. It seems rare that a film clip of trump misses a single day. Or a mention on a newscast.

And then there are the Tweets.


Oh yes, the Tweets.  Never has a President had a social media presence while in office. Facebook, Instagram or Tweet. Webpages were reserved for official campaign relations.  Of course, prior to trump, social media was not a thing. It is still a new phenomenon.


This President seems to think his opinion is needed on all things. Social, sports, personalities, public taste in current events far removed from governance. Every waking minute we seem to know what the trump thinks, feels and is certain about. Only this is opinion and feeling, not fact or logic.


The largest economy in the US is the entirety of the state of California. The most population, too. And yet, a state that returns so much to the nation as a whole – economically, socially, artistically, natural landscapes, etc. – is belittled because of natural disasters like forest fires? Somehow this is a state’s duty to manage when the bulk of public lands are owned and managed by federal agencies?  The state gets the blame from trump on not instantly managing the problem, and threatens to withhold federal dollars to pay for help?  And yes, the bulk of those dollars have been paid into the treasury from taxing Californians and their companies in the first place.


One wonders if the trump will blame California on its next major earthquake?


Blame. Always someone to blame, and not him. Always a finger pointing away from him and excoriating someone for the problem. Yet, let water-swamped Florida properties get deluged with more rain and hurricanes, the federal treasury is opened. No blame there, right?  The trump knows his own properties in Florida are sited on prime ocean front land and will need help repairing storm damage.


Obviously, there is trump and everyone else. If you support him, he tends to support you and avoid blaming. But blame he does. It is one way to remove heat from himself and what he doesn’t do to help the situation. Only worsen it. Fog up the news with empty words and non-action.


He is the newsmaker in chief. He is the creator of fake news all the while claiming all other news is fake. Only in his mind. Only in his mind.


The nation loses from this stupid handling of the news. Just because the trump says something, it is not news. In fact, hindsight informs us just the opposite is true. If fact checking is a strength of the media, then news programs ought not cover the president at all unless the facts bear out. Now, wouldn’t that be refreshing?  A day without trump in the limelight? Perhaps a week of silence on the Great Cheeto?


Well; one has hope. Yes. One can hope.


November 5, 2019

Weather Blahs

Late summer and early fall were atypical in the Midwest. We had long days of gray clouds, a lot of rain, and gloomy skies. With gusty winds and cooler than normal weather, it seemed more like a November day than August.


Jump to Friday, November 1st, and the morning is bright blue sky, white snow covered ground, steam vapors from cars waiting for the red light to turn green, and the thermometer claims 21 degrees.

These past two days bore witness to slush storms: 30 to 33 degrees, rain that turned to snow slush falling from the sky. Warm surfaces turned wet; cool surfaces accumulated 4 to 5 inches of snow. Winter has come. A little early, but here none the same.


The trees have shed much of their leaf load, but plenty remain to provide more autumn hues. Soon these trees will be bare until spring. That is the blah that bears down on us. Cold, wind-swept landscapes will greet us each morning. Thoughts and actions will turn indoors. The only respite is preparation for the Holidays and family gatherings.


That is something to look forward to. And naps under a blankie in my favorite chair.


Now if only a pet were perched on my lap. That would make it perfect.


Close the drapes, think spring, and plan your summer ahead.


This is life in Illinois. At least we don’t have to shovel snow!


November 4, 2019

Gifts

So, Tim Cook, the CEO of Apple, recently said that his being gay is actually the biggest gift. I know what it means. So do many others.


They don’t have to be gay to see the gift.  In fact, this is not about gay at all.  


This is what it is all about: knowing, feeling, experiencing the pain of anything – differentness, off balance from society’s norms, loss, grief, disability – gives the person the gift of knowing the ‘other.’


Otherness is innately feeling and knowing what others feel at times of stress. With the shrouds removed, we see beauty, make sense out of chaos, see complexity as a potential’s lace, hear music with total senses, taste food with all senses roaring, and so on.


My brother once told me he thinks my gayness has made me more sensitive to the needs of others. When he said this, I think he was still horror struck realizing I was gay. But he was right; I am more sensitive to others. The fires of struggle being different gave me that gift.


The needs of others are not always pleasant. The sorrow and pain they feel is felt by others; they respond with care, hope and action. Not easy. Not comfortable. But necessary. To ease the problem or at least its effects. The pain and sorrow become one with them as well.


This is not a feel-good thing. This is not a pain and reward transaction, either. No, it is a heightened sense of being that then unlocks entire spheres of knowing other things. Things like –

·        Beauty in simple landscapes more breathless than ocean vistas, majestic mountain peaks, or exalted views of the Grand Canyon

·        Literature as gateway to understanding, creation of new thinking, and discernment

·        Spotting potential in ideas simple or complex, and their breathtaking benefits

·        Making sense of complex problems and why they must be solved

·        Clarity in seeing the obvious when obscured by chaos

Here’s an example of what I’m getting at:


I was born in southern California, Pasadena. I lived in the foothills of the San Gabriels, below Mount Wilson, and later at the foot of Mount Baldy. We also lived for a while in the Mojave Desert. I know what California was like then; its majesty, weather, vistas, hope and potential. Beauty was just about everywhere. But today?


The complexity of California has produced a mosh pit of problems that is destroying itself. Wildfires are mostly manmade from arson, technology burps or happenstance. Their frequency is driving out residents for the foreseeable future. The unsustainability of California (population, water and sewer needs, electricity, roadways, bridges and basic amenities) makes for a complex future that likely isn’t.

Even California’s housing market is unsustainable. Wealthy people can afford the homes, but rich people don’t do their own work. They need middle class folk to do the daily work and services. But the middle class cannot afford to live within commuting distance.


The natural order of California is a warning to the rest of America: Keep balance in our lives or lose life itself. Whether this is economics, ecology, or mental or physical health, balance is necessary. It is not an option.


See the meaning of things. Know the value of our surroundings. Seek the obvious when it appears less visible. Some people can see these things; they are our alert systems.


Best they be heard. And heeded.

That's the gift: to see, to say, to be heard. And make a difference.


November 1, 2019