Agreeing to Agree

When a fire starts in the neighborhood, people come out of their homes and watch. They shudder knowing this could happen to them. And then they spring into action to help.

Blankets are brought to cover the now homeless occupants, friends bring them into their homes nearby, coffee is made, and phones are brought out. Family and friends are notified of the fire and the need for their help.

The family gathers from far and wide to lend a hand to the family unit most affected by the tragedy. Luckily, no one is hurt or killed in the fiery chaos.

Of course fire and police personnel arrive on the scene quickly to put out the fire and rescue any and all life possibly trapped at the scene. They marshal forces and the fire is extinguished. Hot spots are wetted down some more while the rest of the equipment is gathered and transported back to fire stations. Police patrol the area, keep onlookers away and safe. Data for reports is gathered and the long haul of producing those reports goes on and on in several offices in the town.

Meanwhile neighbors and friends from afar descend on the scene to help the survivors. Clothing is donated, so too, food stuffs and cash. A group begins the search for temporary housing for the family. Another group works with the police and insurance company to determine how soon the family might be able to return to their home. Financial assistance needs are laid out for the family and arrangements are made.

In this situation a bunch of people came together to help others. This is what community looks like. This is what people look like when they agree to agree to do something. Almost without design their reactions are a potent reminder that we share more than we talk about.

In times of tragedy most of us respond to lend a hand. We are then a part and parcel of our shared values. Funny. We didn’t sit down and discuss these things. We didn’t determine if the victims were like us or different from us. We didn’t discuss their religious beliefs or political ideology either, for that matter. No, we just acted on what we felt was right at the time.

And of course it was right – then and even later. Our actions were made in response to human need. And that is always right to do any place and any time.

Like the world conference on climate change recently concluded in Paris. Twenty-plus nations gathered to discuss and develop an agreement they could work on together to protect the planet from destruction by pollution of water, air and soil mankind contributes to his environment. Acts of pollution have taken a toll on our living environment and the planet is likely to become a less hospitable place to live in time.  That is, unless we do something about it. That’s what the conference is about. What to do about sustaining the livability of our planet, together.

Finally we agree to agree on something important. It took courage to show our humility: we have contributed to the problem which promises to be deadly if we don’t take action. Better if that action is taken together in planned and shared objectives.

We haven’t witnessed much agreement lately in the national or global communities in which we live. Instead we view daily contempt and complaint from many parties against many other parties blaming them for shared problems. Missing, of course, is the awareness that we are in this together. We share these problems. We share possible consequences. People are already at work to solve them. It is the lack of agreement on what should be done that frets us.

That should be the key here. We have something we are sharing, a condition, problem or threat that would best be managed together. We can only take such action if we agree to make an agreement to work together in some manner. I’m not saying we have an agreement to act definitively, only a willingness to work on agreeing on some future action.

Agreeing to agree. That’s the first step. It takes courage to stop what we are doing (complaining about something) and decide to do something about it. This is the pause that makes all the difference.

Accepting things that we can do nothing about is one such act of courage living life. Gathering the courage to do something about the things we can change for the better is an entirely different phase of living. It creates its own energy to pursue solutions that matter, like helping the fire victims in the neighborhood.

We will just have to tackle the part about having the wisdom to know the difference between the first two challenges (acceptance and doing) for a later time. Methinks this requires a great deal more agreement to agree!

December 14, 2015