Expectations

We hope and then plan for fulfillment of that hope. We envision Christmas this way – from when we were children and knew the excitement and expectation with immediacy. We carry that memory and history of memories connected with Christmas onward into adulthood. We just do. It is the way things are.

Then we live our adult routines attempting to re-enact, rebirth those memories so they are real in our new family – at the beginning for our bride or groom, then for our kids, and their spouses and kids, too. In the doing of that, however, we encounter failure to produce. The memory is not relived. It is not rebirthed in others. It falls dejectedly on our own laps while we wonder what happened. It is one of the mysteries of life we accept as adults: we cannot duplicate our life experience in the lives of our loved ones. Only they can experience the new and retain them as memory and tradition.

We continue the tradition and the traditions so they might live on in the lives of our family however large it grows.

When we come to this understanding we are then free to experience fresh joy and wonder within the season. Our experience is first hand but as a second hand observer. In that we find the mystery lived out by others younger than we. And therein is the tradition that holds meaning. It is the tradition that will live on in their lives and the ones they will attempt to rebirth for their loved ones just as we did.

They too will learn soon enough that joy will come from fresh understanding and as traditions come into being in an endless loop of expansion.

Thus expectations are ours alone and most of the time fruitless. This we learn. It is wisdom gained from realizing loss of currency and authorship of old 'traditions'. So be it. So be it.

The energy saved by releasing expectations can be used to discover meaning. That takes a lot of energy. But it is well used for seeking. Looking. Searching. What is that? Who is that? What does this mean? How does it all fit together? Am I asking the right questions? Am I even on the right page?

So many questions and so many paths to follow. Where do I begin and what do I do with the information once found.

Well that requires logic and understanding. Experience will lead to deeper understanding and finally to wisdom. When will I use this wisdom? Will it serve purposefully?

That's up to the people who encounter it. Why are they on this journey to discover meaning? What do they intend to do with it. Can we trust them and their motives? And what does all of this have to do with expectations? That is the title of this posting after all!

I think the connection is experience leads to expectation. The disappointment that expectation does not live up to what we hoped for instructs us on the meaning of life. The lesson is foisted on us with no clarity. We have to work with the ideas to find the meaning. It is not automatic. Just like life, not automatic!

Meaning is ours to discover and apply. No one else can do it for us. They can help with the process but not with the actual discovering and use of the wisdom.

We each live our life apart from others and that is the core of our authenticity. Embrace it gladly for it enriches our every breath.

December 23, 2016