Ignorance and Fate

Fate is what happens to us through the overwhelming tide of time and its passage. We either do well in that moving current or not. We adapt to it as best we can, and sometimes surf upon it and do well with little planning on our part. But we can do better. Always better.

Contributing our intent, knowledge, wisdom and caring, we can navigate the swells of time and history forming. We can prepare ourselves for challenges – both major and minor. We can build defenses against conditions and events we suspect will happen or will eventually occur. A stronger wall. A protection against hurricane damage with stronger glass, or steel shutters that roll down to cover the window. Or perhaps we build a home with the aid of an architect who designs hurricane-proof homes. And we plant landscapes that will weather storms or are easily and quickly replaced with quick-growth varietals.

We buy homes in the north lands that have flatter driveways because they would be impossible to climb in icy weather, or back down, too! We install roofs that also carry snow loads, ice dams and withstand buffeting howling winter winds.

We wear clothes to protect us from the cold and the heat, and the sun and frost bite.

Why not prepare our minds as well to withstand the tides of time and change. History stops for no one. Remember that. No one. Not you. Not me. Not the power wealthy or powerful people on earth. Time continues on its path. History accumulates its events and trends. Powerful paths of shifting sands and change. They happen. It is basic physics only on the human scale.

Those people who are concerned only with their own jobs, clothing, fun nights out, style and fashion and all the other social accouterments, will find themselves lacking when the chips are down. Life is not all orderly and neat. Nor is it generous to those who always want and never give.

The trick about being happy and successful is not the getting of things. It is the giving of self. Getting outside of yourself is the key to happiness. Always has been. Every religion and philosophical didactic has uttered this truth. Because it is the truth. It is one of those universals in life.

Hard to learn. Difficult to see. But beautiful to experience.

Often we do not know this is the truth until we do experience it. And it sneaks up on us. Unexpected but welcome. Stumbled over. One day we realize we are not happy and another day we feel ourselves responding in happiness over something or other and we begin to realize the what, why and how.

It is not a secret of a generation. It is a coming to know. All by ourselves. When we least expect it.

We gravitate towards people who seem solid and balanced and happy. We do this unbidden. We discover something in that person that grounds us. Later we begin to realize our attraction to this person was due to their natural outward expression and orientation. They give life to others by being nice, supportive and caring. It is not required to do so in return to this person; but it is necessary to give to others because of this person.

The doing proves the point. The result – the outcome – is growth and happiness.

Try it for yourself. It is not giving of money or things. It is giving time and caring and attention. It is so many things that do not require wealth of things. It is a spirit of mind. An attitude.

Ellen DeGeneres asks us all to ‘be kind to one another’ each day she signs off her show. That’s it. Be kind to one another. Care about others. Get outside of yourself. Let the wonder of the world enter your personal world. And see your world grow!

Peace is like that. If we are not fighting one another we have the time and space to gather strengths to live life on its terms. Without fighting it. Without jousting with others inside or out of the family.

I hear tales of horrific relationships within families. I wonder why they went so far off the tracks. But they did. And the closer you look at those relationships the more you recognize selfishness and self centeredness. Hurt feelings are a defensive response but first the person had to have an expectation of self and worthiness that for some reason they feel has been violated. Maybe that person had an unrealistic expectation in the first place? Why must the other person be kindly disposed to you if you are not the same toward him or her?

Why are you in a relationship? To make you feel better or the other person? Which direction is the relationship aimed? For you or for the other, or for mutuality? Hmmmm?

I wonder if this is the primary reason for family drama? If so it is all so unnecessary.

Fate will deal you the results of your actions. Ignorance of cause will leave you hurting and outraged. Perhaps the outrage should be directed at yourself?

October 11, 2016