Keeping up with the Jones

One thing I remember as a kid was how much older our family car was compared with the neighbors. When asked about this Dad said I shouldn’t be concerned about that. The care was then if our car ran well and could do so for many more years. He said he wasn’t interested in the Jones. Of course I thought he was just being cheap! I really wanted a car that outshined the neighbors. Bright shiny red would do. 

Years past and cars came and went in our garage. Rarely were they special, or glamorous. But they did work; quite well actually. They provided the service they were designed for. And lasted. Dad made sure of that.

For my senior year in college Dad gave me the old family sedan, a 1956 red Buick; this was 1964. It had nearly 100,000 miles on it but it carried me from my upstate New York home to Galesburg, Illinois. Back and forth several times, actually. Very reliably. But it had gaping upstate New York rust holes riddling its body! The car was large and roomy but appeared very much like a derelict. I was more than a little embarrassed by it. 

Just before I graduated in 1965 a local Ford dealer allowed me a massive pile of credit, no down payment and the keys to a brand new, poppy red Mustang with white interior. It had a V-8 engine, white wall tires, and full wheel covers. Oh, it had a radio, too. But nothing more. No power brakes, no power steering, no power windows. Just a snappy new car that made me feel spiffy. I kept that car for nearly a year and enjoyed every minute of it. 

The next year I bought a 1966 Chrysler 300 two door coupe. It was yellow with a black vinyl roof. Power steering and brakes; fancy car with huge engine. It slurped gas but oh was it a smooth ride with plenty of pep. I kept that car about a year. 

In 1967 I bought a new ’67 Ford Mustang, this one fairly well equipped. It too was sporty but the Mustang brand in those days was trending toward larger and cushier, not snappy and performance rated. I kept that car less than a year. Sold it to my landlord, got out from under the auto loan, and saved furiously to enter seminary. 

I was carless until 1968 when my bride bought a ’68 Camaro. It was a dud performance wise, but it sure looked good. Dark forest green with a huge white racing stripe. Black interior with bucket seats and a great radio. Young and zippy. The image was mighty fine. We held onto that car until we bought the 1972 Chevrolet Greenwood station wagon. By that time we had been married 4 years, had a baby, a house, a dog and a cat. We needed more practical transportation, and already you could tell that family financing kept us from buying a new car every year! 

That behemoth wagon lasted to 1978 when we bought a new Chevrolet Impala station wagon. Although that car came with high tech upgrades, it didn’t work as well as the ’72. Got better gas mileage, but much less zip. Still it was a good car for two kids, an ancient house constantly in rehab (lots of trips to the hardware store and lumberyard, don’t you know!). Then Ann went to work full time and cars began to proliferate our garage and driveway exponentially! We eventually had five; a van, a convertible (old, very old), a company car, and an Omni, and something else I don’t remember (how about that?). 

Once the kids were through college, the fleet downsized naturally. But I focused on a good sedan for business travel and my old Mustang GT convertible. I continued to go through cars regularly, usually 24 months was the longest tenure. Each new car became fancier, heavier, and better equipped than the last one. Then came a string of Mercedes, first a C-320, then an E-350, and finally a C-300. Each was super terrific. Each came loaded with features I could only have dreamed of as a kid. Each did great service. The first Mercedes I drove 100,000 miles; the second 72,000, and the last was only 19,000 when I had to downsize financially. 

Now I drive a heavily financed used Ford Fusion, an ’08. It’s quite a good car, actually. Sound. Quiet. Great ride. Powerful enough for me (not a zippy Benz!). Well equipped with a lot of electronics aboard. A lot of benefit for a fraction of the cost of a Mercedes. It’s white, by the way. The Fusion. White, black walled tires. Mag wheels. Good looking actually. But nothing special. 

I hope the Jones aren’t looking. Oh hell; I don’t care now. I really don’t.

February 12, 2012