Trevor Project

An American program with growing international support, The Trevor Project has a mission of helping Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender youth (LGBT) see themselves positively so they can build a life of value. LGBT youth represent 34% of attempted suicides among all youth between 15 and 24 years of age. The primary reason for this statistic is their own negative self-view. They receive messages from parents, family, surrounding youth population and culture. To be gay is to be different, less than whole, shameful, sinful and unworthy. That’s the message gay youth receive. No wonder many of them think suicide is the only way out. 

“It Gets Better” is a campaign started in the US by Dan Savage, a syndicated columnist who started his writing career in Chicago as a gay activist. He now resides in the Seattle area. It does get better for gay youth who hang on to experience maturity. Their perspectives change and become much more healthy and positive. Getting them to that place is the challenge. 

The Trevor Project provides 24/7 hotline phone counseling as well as many programs which attract LGBT youth to creative activities that help them grow a positive self-view. Both Trevor and It Gets Better are programs which deserve our support. 

Gay youth are bullied. By anyone who thinks they can get away with it. Bullying affects most youth, not just LGBT; but the latter are cruelly singled out and tortured because they do not have the personal resiliency to defend themselves emotionally. Family members do this to their sons and daughters and siblings. Cousins, too. Neighbors get in on the act. But school classmates are especially brutal. Schools are closed mini societies. Teachers are bullies as well; and often do little or nothing to control bullying in their own classrooms. Other kids notice this and think it’s OK to bully. 

Well it’s not OK. You know that. I know that. Most people know that. So why can’t that message be the penultimate one? I don’t know. Maybe it’s a version of the ‘not in my backyard’ mentality. Maybe we think someone else will do something about it. But few do. So the problem continues. 

I think most bullying stems from people who have low self esteem. They, the bullies,  bother other people to feel better about themselves, that they have power over someone else. Low self esteem also makes LGBT youth become victims because they have a perverse feeling that maybe they deserve poor treatment because of who they are.  

These are theories floating around. Not necessarily facts. The victim and the bully have similar issues needing resolution. So does society in general for allowing it to go on unchecked. But something does need to be done about it. Like so many other things it starts at home. How well do we teach our kids that other people are due respect whether we like them or not, or whether we understand them or not. If we give them respect we can expect respect in return. The Golden Rule writ large! How hard can this be to accomplish? Or understand? 

Clearly informing schools and churches that bullying will not be tolerated is another step we can take. Have we spoken up about this topic at school meetings or church gatherings? Or Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts? Have we asked leaders to consider working on these problems?  

This is not just about gay kids. This is about us. Our decency. And encouraging others to act decently as well.  

About the gay kids: they are creative, feeling people who have a world of life ahead of them. And they will reward us with things they create. Innovative work, thinking and art. Music, literature, theater and visual arts. Not each of them. But enough to make a difference. For all of us. 

I wonder how much of our problems are due to ignorance? Do we know a gay kid? Do we know a gay adult? Do we realize who and what they are? What they are capable of? What they have already accomplished? Are they dragons or heroes? Do we know enough to make a conclusion? 

Until we are, let’s extend a helping hand to give all youth a chance to grow up and mature into a contributing member of our society. They are worth the investment. We will feel better that we do this. And their contributions to life, like yours, will be well received. 

Will you help?

February 8, 2012