Really? Since when is evolving your position a flip flop?
Since when is carefully considering a position on an issue a liability?
I think maybe when the issue is one of deep
misunderstanding. Maybe even of ignorance. Or perhaps when the issue isn’t
really that important in the grand scheme of things, yet is turned into a wedge
issue just the same. Because dishonorable people can divide other people by
mere mention of one of millions of issues we can each ponder. And divide.
I’m gay. I know what
it means to be gay. I know what it means to be bullied. I know what it means to
be misunderstood, snickered at behind my back, and otherwise marginalized. I
know. So please, ignorant ones, do not try to tell me that being gay is a
choice! And stop pretending that gay people make you uncomfortable and somehow
lessen your life. Such bosh is actually funny it is so warped.
Gay orientation is not a choice. It is wired into the core
of the individual’s personhood, brain synapses, and base of perceptions. It is
immutable. It cannot be changed. It just
is. So if you are not gay, get over it. This issue is not about you.
The issue is, rather, about how you and others who are not
gay perceive and understand the issue to be; and then, what that basis of
thinking causes you to behave in a number of ways.
Perchance, do you vote for the person who is not gay,
regardless of record of achievement and grasp of public work? Do you avoid gay
people, maybe even sneer? Do the palms of your hands sweat when you discuss gay
issues with someone? Are you prone to bully, intimidate or insult a person you
think is gay?
Do you do any of those things even though you have not
researched what gay means or is? Do you? Hmmmmm?
I accepted myself as being gay when I was 37 years old. I
knew I was different from early childhood, but I didn’t know what that
difference was; I had no vocabulary for the feelings I felt at the time, nor
how to collate such thoughts with other daily realities. I didn’t have a clue.
Eventually I realized that boys my age were talking about
girls and how they felt about them physically. I didn’t feel that way; and
because no one talked about the different way, I kept my mouth shut. This was
the 1940’s and 1950’s. As time passed it became much clearer what they were
talking about: SEX. Gad, but this was a no-no. Polite people did not talk about
sex or about physical attributes of other person’s bodies. They just didn’t,
unless they huddled in conspiracy and camaraderie…feeling their oats and ‘boys
being boy’s…the talk turned dirty with glee and snickers mushrooming from the
group!
For the life of me I didn’t know what they were talking
about! But one day, in early high school, my eyes fell on a kid, a boy
naturally! And something stirred inside of me. I was attracted to the symmetry
of his face, the grace of his body movements, the shape of his rear end and
legs. I was interested, and in ways that I was unprepared for. This was early
sexual stirrings.
It took quite a while to understand even bleakly what this
was all about. But once I was done with college and on my career path, I read
and researched homosexuality for more than 40 years. I know what the literature
says on the issue. I know what the
churches want people to think and believe. I know what science says on the
issue.
Have you who are not gay done this sort of research? Do you
agree or disagree with modern gay discussions? Do you have a basis of
understanding the points under discussion? Are you ready to learn? And listen
to others?
Ignorance is stubborn. It grabs hold of us and makes us
prisoner. Beyond reason. Beyond good sense. Beyond civility.
Oh how I wish you’d sit and listen to what I have to say on
this subject. And share with me your thoughts. Not your bile or jealousy. But
do share your ignorance so it can be edged away to nothing by pure fact and
reality.
If you are interested, please let me know. Comment on this
blog and I’ll begin the slow education you truly need and deserve. Please? To
save your face in public?
May 12, 2012
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