“Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he
sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the
future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not
live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and
then dies having never really lived.”
Is that what I’m doing? You?
I can honestly say I did do that in the past. Not so much
today. I’ve learned some lessons, after all!
Took long enough. But they have been learned well. I only forget them
occasionally.
I smoked to excess for far too many years; ended up with
emphysema. I drank too much for several years; wound up in rehab and now sober
for 6 years. Worked 24/7 because there was so much to do; got paid pretty well
for that; also reaped many personal rewards that had not dollar value attached!
But health gave way eventually. And worry and stress. Now that I have been
broken in, and down I’m ready for the rest of my life. And it’s all good. Broke
maybe; down and out, not at all!
Focused is a better state of things. I know who I am now
better than any time in the past. And I know what today is better than anything
else! The future is to be planned for the good of others. Just not for me. And
that gives me freedom to know the present.
The Dalai Lama is oh so correct.
The present is used to make money, earn a living, do so in a
way that rewards the inner self (we call that career aspirations!). It should
not be about financial reward. Nice if it comes along; but not necessary. Not
really.
There are practical issues of course: raising kids, caring
for their health and well being; good diet, adequate housing, as good an
education as possible; and love and tender loving care. Spousal nurture, too;
it is the bedrock of the family and kids and home life. Smelling the roses and
coffee; hearing birdsong; feeling breezes in the hair and on the face. Sensing
the warming rays of the sun whenever through the year – winter and summer!
The present gives us quality of life we seek at other times.
We may be too busy to know that. So take the time to feel it out. Make it
happen in your life. Share it with others so they, too, have the same sense of
the present. Make it yours, the family’s.
Good health is often valued when you don’t have it. But ill
health can be survived well enough. Just don’t dwell on it. Dwell on
understanding and appreciating the present.
The future does belong to those who prepare for it; but not
all out, please! Think kindly on the future. Know that today’s work leads us to
the future; but it is not all or nothing. The present remains the asset we must
consume well if futures will be.
Rooting the self in the past/present/future takes
involvement with others. Kindling those relationships and nurturing them is
critical to getting along in the world and making sense of the world, all at
the same time. Give people a chance and they will usually not disappoint. Some
will; they are the minority. They are the wounded who cannot help but take
advantage of others. But they suffer from this. They lessen their health and
happiness. They do not know it then; but later…..
Moving forward…into the future…into what will be is a large
challenge. It will take discipline and hope and deep thought. The kind that
comes from appreciating the past and the present. Both tenses teach us what to
expect. But we can improve on it. If we try. If we hope and think.
Not all people of our acquaintance will remain with us
throughout the journey. They will come and go according to their abilities and
dispositions. They will partner and support. They will criticize and strengthen
our thinking. They will be short term or long term. But they will not be in our
control, not ever.
Part of understanding relationships is knowing when it is
over. Some will last a lifetime. Others only a week or a month. The when is not
in your hands. Maybe not in the other’s, either. But we must let them go so
they journey on and we trudge our path to the future.
It’s OK. Do not fret. Value, yes; regret, no.
Tony McCollum of www.livelifehappy.com
has said:
“When people walk away from you, let
them go. Your destiny is never
tied to anyone who leaves you, and it
doesn’t mean they are bad people. It just means that their part in your story
is over.”
And the story, your story, continues on. And for each of us,
too.
May 22, 2012
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