Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Rental Available: Space in my Head?

Robert Tew has said, “Don’t let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out!” 

Good words to live by. Allowing others to take up space in your head is OK, but not if they do damage to who you are, who you are striving to be. Negative people grow their toxicity and spread it to others. They are afraid of something and think you ought to be too. If not, you are flawed in their mind’s eye. Yet when the mirror is poised for sight, it is they who are flawed. Don’t let them build a nest in your mind. Push their resentments and poison out to the rest of the world where they will be diluted and eliminated. 

Robert Tew also said, “Don’t live your life with anger and hate in your heart. You’ll only be hurting yourself more than the people you hate.”  But first make sure you haven’t leased space in your head to them!

One more quote from Robert Tew: “If you don’t value yourself, you’re not going to draw valuable things into your life.”  Attract the worthwhile by thinking of them, seeking them and making them happen. Such will enhance our appreciation of life, of others, and of self. All three are necessary to create value in the space outside of ourselves.

I don’t know why I’m on this kick today. But I am profoundly aware of how negative our surroundings have become. The radio and TV news programs and news magazines, and newspapers, all have volume-building tag lines and headlines. All are designed to attract your attention. The sky is falling! No it is not! Not really! And you know that. You don’t need someone to tell you that with the tag line, “news at 11.”

I wonder why we cave in by such cheap tricks. But we are. I am too. But I know those  tactics are directed at the gullible. And I don’t want to be in that category! So maybe I will seek balanced news elsewhere. Perhaps from the makers of news in the first place. The educators, researchers, care givers, businesses, inventors….you get the idea. Their messages are out there on the Internet. Your power of discernment has to rise to the challenge of determining which items are factual, which are not. But the first step may be to turn off the news and the mere sound bites they scatter to the wind. They contain so little information that conclusions are impossible. Clear thinking makes for conclusions that matter. And that takes patience and hard work.

I think our culture has made people lazy. They want others to think for them. They want others to do the work they ought to do. It is by doing this work that we learn. And discern. Being spoon fed packaged data and conclusions is not healthy for an open and free democracy.  

I was in a public meeting the other day and we were struggling with developing strategies for broader public understanding. We had determined which demographic groupings needed the information for their own good but couldn’t figure out how to get at these groups.  

Actually it was quite simple. It took us awhile to get it, but the solution was simple: go to the internet; Google the desired demographics, associations dealing with the subset topics, and see where it leads us. Sometimes getting at the grass roots requires us to return to the big picture. Once there, follow the trail back to the grass roots. Connection made! 

Logical and clean. Simple and direct. The goal once set requires action plans. Those are not as difficult to draw up as they first appear. We must allow logic and simplicity to re-enter or personal space; else we are trapped by the overly complex world we perceive it to be.

Another way of saying this: The world may be complex but only if we don’t think about it and understand its basics. Then simplicity returns and pathways to the future become much clearer.

I think it begins with goal clarification.  What is it you wish accomplished? The end result? Once clear on this, clarify who needs to know and support these goals? They are the stakeholders, the ones who will find value in achieving the goals. Next, identify who these stakeholders routinely deal with; these are the arenas of influence from which work gets done.

Now work up some meaningful action plans that directly address the goals. Don’t stray from them. Those are the focal points of your efforts.

Trouble comes when we allow ourselves to be distracted by others, stray thoughts, and old wounds and resentments. The things that can easily take up space in your head. Rent free. Don’t let them. Dump them. Focus on the goals. And get to work. Do your own thinking.

May 8, 2012




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