Including Both Halves

Many years ago, 30 or 40 to be a little more precise, people did not understand that I was a feminist. They thought that I must not favor Women’s Liberation and that I would champion the position of males.  I had a tough time convincing them otherwise! Still do.

As a husband, father, son, nephew and brother, and grandfather I have a lot of women in my life! I honestly wanted the best for all of them. Career and education opportunities as a start, then equal pay, basic fairness and respect for their opinions. I couldn’t believe that activists actually felt that the female gender was the enemy!

Later as I came to the full realization of my being gay, and learned to deal with that, I still was a supporter of women. They have been the great justice partner in most social struggles: vote for women, anti slavery, civil rights movement, peace movement, gay rights, immigration rights,... and the list goes on! They were there when needed to be the voice of justice, fairness and reason. How could I ever be against them!?

Yet all these years later women’s rights issues continue in the news. Addressing the 2012 Women in the World Conference in New York City, Hillary Rodham Clinton said:

“Why extremists always focus on women remains a mystery to me, but they all seem to. It doesn’t matter what country they’re in or what religion they claim, they all want to control women. They want to control how we dress, they want to control how we act, they even want to control the decisions we make about or own health and our own bodies.

Yes, it is hard to believe but even here at home we have to stand up for women’s rights and reject efforts to marginalize any one of us because America needs to set an example for the entire world.”

Today discussions are hot and heavy about restricting abortions: whether health insurance can exclude treatment options for pregnant women, or if religious institutions can restrict employee benefits based on their theological beliefs.  Equal pay for equal work continues to be a needed discussion and solution. Churches meddling with political venues attempt to legislate their religious tenets to the population at large, especially those issues pertaining mainly to women.

The unfairness of these matters seem apparent to many people. Why then is their disagreement on the solutions? Butt out of women’s lives. Let them live their lives as they deem best. If they prefer to follow the dictates of their church or political party, fine; if not, leave them alone! We ought not have such power over such personal matters. Hillary Clinton has it exactly right.

To help make this happen, we need courage to talk about these issues wherever we are. All of us need to be open to differences of opinion and belief. Just because one person believes one thing, does not mean others need to live their live according to that belief. We live in a free country. We all can make decisions for ourselves. But it takes a step into the dark, a step of bravery, to raise these issues and talk about them. With love and care we need to engage people if the right things are to happen.

Yoga master Amrit Desai has said: “Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness, to pull another hand into the light.”

Good words to ponder. Perhaps we can allow those words to guide us in delivering justice for women?

June 26, 2012