The Other Side of Midnight

(With apologies to Sidney Sheldon)

What it means to love creativity while reacting to insensitivity and hate; what it means to be both optimistic and pessimistic at the same time. Being fully human: Knowing we can accomplish much; knowing to do that means we have to fight all the forces that keep us from achieving what we can!

Rishika Jain said: “Time is like a river. You cannot touch the same water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life…”

If that is true, and I think it is, we shouldn’t waste time or energy but take advantage of the opportunities staring us in the face.

Johnny Depp said, “You can close your eyes to the things you don’t want to see, but you can’t close your heart to the things you don’t want to feel.”

I guess we can try to close the heart to feelings (and I know some people who seem to be doing this!) but I think we fool ourselves. At some point reality hits; we have turned our hearts to stone for however long, but eventually we become aware of the error in doing so. And we are ashamed. Embarrassed.

Being who I am is hard work. Kurt Cobain slammed this thought home: “I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not.” Who I am is the real thing. I’m not faking it. And I don’t want to mislead anyone; that enslaves me to figuring out what you want me to be. It is so much easier to just be me. If that upsets you, that’s your problem.

And who am I, or you, to judge the other? I found this on the Internet the other day and think it fits exactly right here! “How many gay people does God have to make before we stop asking ourselves whether he wants them around or not?” I did not make myself gay, nor did I choose to be gay. I am gay. I fought it. I examined what it meant and came to terms with it. I did a lot more work doing this thinking than others have done to come to the conclusion that it is a sin or evil. Or that it is OK to be straight!

Remember Thomas Paine’s famous quote? I do: “To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead.” Such people made up their minds long ago on incomplete data but will not be deterred from their conclusions! Foolish, yes; but normal.

Another Internet jewel: “Life is too short to spend it with people who suck the happiness out of you.” And that’s the price we pay when we insist on doing the thinking for someone else. We often alienate them. We may not be aware of it at the time. But it’s there none the same. And we cut that person off by our own actions. Or they suck the happiness from us and we cut ourselves off from them.

Two halves of life. Your side and my side. How important is it to be right? How important is it to lose a friend over? Or a family member over? Why do we do this to each other? What base of resentment causes people to make these irrational choices of right and wrong as pressed onto others?  I doubt any of us will find an answer to that in our lifetime.  Pity, isn’t it? So much energy spent; so much love and respect tossed away.

The ‘other side of midnight’ is a smidgen away from our conscious self at all times. It can work for us or against us. I counsel inclusion and making room for others. Just don’t change who you are to do this. Open up. Feel. Think. Be real and caring. You just might come to some common conclusions!

June 28, 2012