Growing from Within

Struggle builds muscle in bone and sinew. Same with spirit and emotional growth, I think. Walking through life doesn’t do it. Thinking about it helps. Pondering experiences and the lessons learned helps, too.

Focusing on the needs of others brings my strengths and weaknesses into focus. Doing something for someone else gives me a lift up. The reflected light from other lives and faces gives me a partial mirror to see myself. Am I making a difference? Am I worthwhile?

Odd isn’t it? It seems you really have to lose yourself in something else to gain a better sense of self. No man is an island. We’ve heard and read that many times throughout our lives. But it is true. We rely on others for so much. Help. Joy. Love. Appreciation. World view. Nature view. The list goes on. But we also rely on others to ‘see’ our inner self.

Gerard Way said, “Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself, and love yourself to become a new person.”

Well said, Gerard! Forgetting self helps me see other people. Seeing them helps me know them, understand them a bit better. See things from their perspective. Losing self gains me so much more. It takes practice to do this. But it is an exercise well worth doing.

I found this on the Internet the other day; I think it is worth sharing. It fits with what we are discussing.

“If you are trapped between your feelings and what other people think is right, always go for whatever makes you happy, less you want everybody to be happy except you.

Your happiness is your own to find. The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself. Do the things that are pleasing to your heart, and work hard to inspire and bless others. The only thing that will truly make you happy is being happy with who you are, and not who people think you are.”

We often are wounded by life’s realities. It takes time to realize these hurts for what they are – moments in which we learn we are not the most important thing in the world. We also feel a wound when another person uses us, snubs us, for whatever reason. That reason is there’s, not ours. It is something we need to realize. They are struggling with their own self view and it is imperfect. They are trying to feel better about themselves and don’t know how to do so. Stumbling along they hurt others; intentionally because it makes them feel better about themselves in the instant, but in time they feel poorly inside because of what they did. They know.  They know.

I must heal from these wounds. I must give myself time to know this and recognize the hurt for what it is. Rocky found this on the Internet the other day:

“Take all the time you need to heal emotionally. Moving on doesn’t take a day. It takes a lot of little steps to be able to break free of your broken self…”

That statement feels right to me. Give the self time to know what it is dealing with. Then give it time to heal itself. Not rushed but determined. Time and work will heal the wound. And new skin, sinew and strong bone will take their rightful places.

And the self will shine to make others rise as well.

July 9, 2012