Today is my mother’s 101st birthday. That’s quite
an achievement. Mom doesn't read this blog mainly because she doesn't own a
computer anymore, doesn't know how to use the newer ones anyhow, so we are left
with written letters and phone calls. It is not a two way street
communication-wise. Her memory is more instant – short term and focused on now.
My sister lives near her and reads letters from me to her.
Often she interrupts the reading to question “who are these people being
named?” When I hear that, of course, I
am a little heart struck to learn that mom is fading away from her life-long
context.
Living in the now is OK. In fact living in the present is an
achievement many miss out on entirely. Distractions aplenty exist. We tend to
lose ourselves in the details of life rather than the meaning thereof. A
constant onslaught of such distractions.
We are in the Lenten season for Christians. If you are a
believer and study the church calendar and struggle to learn what it all means,
you would know at this time of year Jesus has been baptized and immediately is
called on an odyssey of 40 days and nights in the desert. What on earth for you
say? Well here’s one way of looking at it, at least symbolically.
Jesus is called,
that is something greater than himself impels him to ditch what is familiar to
him and to explore the desert for a prolonged time. This calling is an act of
faith, that God and the holy spirit have urged him to seek otherness and to
trust in God. He does and encounters the dearth of food, companionship and
water of the desert. He learns survival skills. But most importantly he learns
to think clearly on what is important and what is not. He will exit the desert
with a clear mind and straightforward purpose. He will have survived the beasts
of the desert, too, and know that he has trusted God to keep him safe. This is
an important lesson for Jesus and us.
A parallel to modern day is a retreat that removes a person
from familiar haunts and places him in a starkly different surround where he is
challenged to survive on his own wits, learn clearly who he is as a person, and
where he resides in the larger world. On retreat he is separated from the
distractions of daily life. He prepares for a meaningful existence. He learns
faith in himself and also others. Of course this retreat usually involves a
private room with bed, regular meals taken in a dining hall, and group worship
from time to time. Hardly an ‘alone experience’ like the desert!
Not a bad lesson to add to our survival skills for dealing
with our modern chaos of life. Rarely do we experience peace and quiet. The
most likely spot is in bed in the middle of the night when no distractions loom
over our concentration and thinking process. To some degree peace and quiet is
met in the car provided the sound system is turned off, the phone doesn't ring,
and the electronics of the car don’t interrupt your concentration. Then again,
driving is hardly a sport of isolation! The challenges of interpersonal dealings
abound in every lane and intersection. Driving is a distraction to living. And
yet we allow more distractions to enter that special cocoon where distractions
are most dangerous.
We can impose a discipline that gains us solitude from time
to time. We can monitor life’s distractions and shutter them for short whiles.
It takes concentration and effort to accomplish this, but the payoff is alone
time with the self.
I can only imagine what this alone time is for my mother.
Perhaps it is too much with her? Maybe she would rather be in touch with those
around her all the time? But life is clearly helping her get away from the
hubbub. As her friends succumb to the silence of Alzheimer’s and finally to
death, she will find her quiet.
The question is will she be quieted and purposeful then?
Only she will know. And each of us when this time comes our way eventually.
Somber topic to ponder. Good to do even if it is
disquieting.
February 24, 2015
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