I was in a meeting the other day. A wonderful fellowship of
diverse people around the room who came together to talk about their own
problems and challenges. Some sharing was simple and direct. A few were quite heavy
– ill health, impending death, tragically broken relationships of long
standing. Some dealt with aging and the accompanying struggles.
But all focused on happiness, getting along and making the
best of whatever came their way.
In the final moments of life, that last statement is really
what all of life is about, isn't it? I could spend a lot of time bewailing
higher auto insurance premiums, tax liabilities that simply are not fair,
medical insurance premiums that seemingly have no end, and co-pays, deductibles
and the forever expanding list of exclusions. What a nightmare. And this
problem of aging doesn't even address the busy schedule of doctor appointments;
pharmacy visits at all hours, a few trips to the Emergency Room or the simple
matter of transportation to all of these!
These are some of the things my parents didn't tell me!
Should I be surprised? Not really. These are the snags of life we encounter and
deal with. Parents don’t usually share these details with their kids because it
may sound like whining. So surprise is our fate when we learn what they endured
without our knowing of it. Now it is our turn.
And that is OK. With a deep breath we move forward and
accept our fate. We deal with it as it is. We also come to understand that is
not a bad thing. It is an adventure filled with discovery and understanding of
things we once thought was a mystery. The unveiling of certain truths is
uncovered. The old adages now carry meaning for us.
With tears and stifled sobs the fellowship poured out their
sadness and struggles. In the giving is freedom. Openness finds comfort. We
breathe again, this time with new certainty. We are stronger than we thought.
The pastor of my church harbors some envy of our group. She
knows we meet life more honestly than the church fellowship does. In our
honesty and openness we can be present in the lives of our compatriots. In the
church’s gathering personal honesty is held back, snipped in the bud enough to
keep members from fully knowing each other. And their problems and challenges.
Our openness is an invitation to embrace each other and all
of our weaknesses and humanity. Acceptance of the whole person is the secret to
feeling whole in the first place. If church members did this within their
fellowship they might experience a marvelous new light in their lives.
Fellowship is best experienced in honesty. Giving witness to
another person’s discomfort while sharing one’s own is the embrace of
acceptance. That just might be the element in group life that is missing in our
daily living.
Resilient people swing and sway with life’s challenges.
Observers think these people are special and strong. We often think they are
mature models of what we should be. Truth be told we are all capable of being
the same. Resilient people recognize what they cannot control or change. They
experience these as immutable forces of nature, of realities of life. No sense
complaining; best to laugh them off and seek shelter! Then proceed on your
path.
Struggle gives strength and wisdom if we allow it. But we
must experience the struggle to gain from it. It is this process that allows us
to survive much we felt impossible. We learn from the process. First we must
embrace it and accept it.
Too much to handle? Naw! Just another adventure to add to
our life’s experience. And strength.
February 26, 2015
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