Engaging

Working with teen addicts I keep wondering how to connect with them in a way that will cause a response leading toward constructive action. You know, how do I get them to act on an idea that will lead them into the future? I want to help them find a path to follow that will lead toward something of vital interest to them in life rather than drugs or other self endangering behavior.

Some of the kids simply look at me. One told me he didn’t want to stress about such stuff at this point in his life. I get that, but I still wonder if I can at least get him to react a little to something of interest to him.

I’ve tried music. What are they listening to, and what sound or lyrics seem to get a rise from them these days? For some kids it’s reading – sounds dorky, I know, but this is them sharing. For others it is a corner of the scientific world. One in particular fancies chemistry; of course it is a holdover from his interest in drugs, but this is the guy who manufactured his own recreational drugs by moving molecules from one atomic structure to another until he had the pharmaceutical he knew would work. Yes, this sort of discussion goes on in their circles. Not many of them understand the molecular structure of their pastimes but they are bright kids who understand science!

I overheard them discussing politics last night. If you are a republican you don’t want to know what they said! And no, it is not about democrats, either, but ideas capture their interest and fuel very interesting conversations. I know I’m on the right track about finding ideas to interest them.

They recognize my dated speech, but then when they venture into academic subject matter I revert to my professional language patterns and they take note immediately. Some want definitions of the terms and they gladly drink it in.

As I said: these are very bright young people. They have not finished high school yet but some of them are plotting their higher education journeys all the way through two masters and at least one PhD. Of course we have the kids who only want to work with things like cars, motorcycles and electronic equipment. But even they want to know the professional scope of those things, not just the surface information.

They are yearning for the future when they don’t know they are expressing that about themselves. But they are reaching, pressing limits forward into the future. I know this instinctively as I drive home and reflect on the evening’s discussion. By the time I get home I feel better. While with the kids I’m always guessing what’s happening and if it is taking a path toward an objective.

Hell, with this group objectives are not at all in focus. But that’s the challenge, isn’t it? Finding the focus that matters in their lives. That’s one objective of our work together. At least it is a positive factor to work toward.

When working with youth we never quite know the whole of it. Only glimpses are caught momentarily. But then you see a twinkle in one person’s eyes and somehow you know a connection has been made. And he returns to the group week after week.

Oh, that’s another thing. We were meeting with the kids twice a month until we asked the service’s leadership if we could meet more often. They asked, how much? We said weekly. And they readily agreed.

So did the kids. They now seem comfortable with including us in their chaotic lives. Connections are being made. Connections are being built. Sometimes they know that; mostly they don’t.

But then, the same is true for us. And we are the ‘adults’.

I guess there’s more to this engaging stuff than I had thought. Maybe that’s why I awoke at 3 am thinking about it? The word ‘engaging’ was floating in my mind. Then I connected it with meeting with the teens.

It was then I realized they had engaged me!

April 29, 2016