Friday, November 18, 2016

Tolerance and Acceptance

The nation is reeling from an ugly election season that seems to have been nonstop for the past 24 years. That’s bad enough but when the most recent season harps on emotional weaknesses and biases, then things really do turn ugly.

America is a diverse nation despite what many think. We are not a Christian nation by culture, practice or decree. A lot of our people and their families were raised in a Christian tradition home. That does not make us all believers or faithful practitioners of Christianity.

Although our history is mainly of white races, we are not all white. In fact we are less than half white statistically. And the rest of the population is comprised of racial, ethnic and blended families for a very long time.

We are an immigrant nation – built by them, for them and of them. That is the cornerstone upon which America rests.

Looking at our masses we are also made up of men and women in nearly equal parts as one would expect. We are also straight, gay, bi-sexual and transgender; like it or not, it is true, and each of us knows or loves someone who is not straight. Each of us. If you think not, then some of your closest allies in life are too afraid to share this information with you for fear of your reaction. Think about that. Just think about it.

Someone long ago asked if I were a feminist. And I said yes. Why wouldn’t I be? I have a mother, two grandmothers, 5 aunts, many grand aunts, a sister, and now a wife (then ex-wife), daughter and two granddaughters and a daughter in law. By marriage I have the same in the extended family units. Why would I be against the well being and just and fair treatment of the women in my life? I must stand up for them. It is a very simple fact of life.

Immigrants built our nation and each of us is in one form or another an immigrant. The only differences among us is when we or our families became American, and under what circumstances. Our cultures have become merged with the rest of us and we have become one America. That is as it was designed to be and why our Constitution is such a marvel.  Not perfect, but still a marvel.

If I cannot accept or tolerate someone different from me than I am actually not tolerating myself. This may sound illogical but if you ponder it long enough it will make sense to you.

It is hard to accept or tolerate an angry, hard nosed bigot staring me in the face. It is hard to accept or tolerate a smug, wealthy know it all who makes light of the hardships of others. It is hard to watch people who abuse women, children, the poor and the lame for their own financial gain or elevated sense of self.

It is even a fearful realization when one considers those same people mean you harm and/or death. If you are a Jew from the World War II era, I know you know what I mean. If you are a Jew today, I know you know what the past has taught you, and us.

I am gay. Do you think I feel safe all the time? No. That would be unrealistic. Do I feel intimidated now? A little, but not a lot. But then we just won the right to marriage and have had the wedding. Now it could be taken from us. And it will if enough of America doesn’t stand up and stop that from happening. Just like the Jews and the Holocaust.

My son married into a marvelous, Hispanic family. Enormous (to us!) but loving and caring and bright and forward looking. They are treasures. And they have the same problems and issues that the rest of us do – the fight for good and stable jobs, careers, a just economy, gender issues just like our own and so much more. We are one and the same.

My daughter married into a family of eastern European origin. It is large, complex and extended beyond our wildest experiences. All nice people. All with hopes and dreams like our own. There are no differences among us. We suffer and emote the same. We have similar problems and successes fighting them.

Accepting something makes it a real part of our life. We may not understand everything or like it but we must accept it. Then we can deal with it. Then we can internalize the differences so they mean something – good, bad or otherwise.

The move of America to an era of Donald Trump carries a message of change. Whether the change will be administered with kindness and love remains in doubt. If you are female, gay or foreign, you have a right to be worried, even frightened. The rhetoric of the campaign was stark and hideous. Violence was waged in many places. Violence is threatened today in many places.

But if we allow fear and intimidation to control our lives, we will have given into the bigots, misogynists and ignorant. Please don’t let that happen.

Mr. Trump seems to be unaware of what he has unleashed all the while stirring it up to win the Presidency. It is now his job to quell his supporters and make peace. That is what a leader does. This will be his first task to accomplish.

Time will tell if he and his team are up to the task. Meanwhile the rest of us have our usual jobs to do to earn a living, and our jobs as citizens to watch those in authority to do their jobs by the law.

We are in this together. So act like it and support the dream of what we know America can be.


November 18, 2016

No comments:

Post a Comment