Hard versus Soft Skills

This phrase was shared with me the other day by a colleague. He pointed out that soft skills – those that allow us human beings to relate to one another positively – are disappearing. Or so it seems. Instead our focus is on the hard skills – computational, programming, selling, building, hand work and brain work in analysis, writing and so forth.

As we go about our business of life we note how edgy people are, tense, uncommunicative, even angry and spoiling for a fight. Facebook posts are filled with such sentiments. So too blogs, news feeds, and all the rest of social media. What gives?

Well, maybe we have allowed the hard stuff to push the soft stuff out of our lives. Maybe?

Let’s see – a pet bounds to the door when we return home; it cuddles with us for moments to re-establish contact with us. Spouse and kids greet one another warmly as they re-enter the family’s nest after a day of being away.

Evening hours in front of the TV allow time to decompress from our hectic day, but do such intervals really allow that? So much drama and news programming on public media now continues to push serious topics into our consciousness. We call this civic duty and artistic stimulation. Really?

Do we really need more stimulation?

I think we need relaxation and time to ponder. Some call this meditation. Others calmly insist it is thinking things over. Sorting things out. Blending our experiences of the day together so it makes more sense.

Mulling things over helps balance the mind, doesn’t it? Sorting and weighing relative values. Recalling comments made by associates during the day; did I fully understand what he or she meant? Were other meanings of the interchange possible? Did I miss something? If so, what is it and can I pick up the thread tomorrow when next we meet up?

Not all people are 100% accurate in their responses to banter or conversation. Some heavy clues are missed, clues that hint at meaningful content we need to process moving forward: in that relationship or problem/solution matter. Rapid fire exchanges may seem like fun at the time but there are layers of meaning lurking in the communication; this is what makes them clever and fun exciting and challenging. But more meaning remains for processing. Are we doing the processing, now or later? Do we take the time to think about such things?

The world of feeling is what makes each of us uniquely human.

That statement alone should make us stop and listen. Often it doesn’t. instead we glibly move on to the next topic of consumption. Feelings. Sensitivities. Right and wrong. Liking, loving, attracted or whatever. These are complex matters not quickly digested. They are often more like clues to niggle us to ponder.

The other day someone in a meeting suggested the old sales routine of getting to know the personal side of a client was a lost art. It was claimed the art built a relationship that would fuel interest and loyalty to our company, services and products. From that base we could and would sell again and again to the client. Based on our relationship with them.

Another commenter alleged that perhaps what is missing is a sincere attempt to learn the needs of the client. Really seeking clear answers from the client as to his/her needs is another way of getting to know the person of the client. But the facts learned are focused on a transactional relationship that matters to both parties at the time. How many of us actually know what our clients need? Do we ask the right questions? Do we understand the client’s relative capability to grasp all the complexities of his situation and what solutions may be needed to help him manage the problems?

Assessing needs and capabilities. Both represent our task, but the skill sets needed to do this are quite different. One is based on hard skill sets and the other soft skills. The human dimension. It requires both.

I suspect most of us shy away from the soft skills applications. We are unsure of what to do or say. We may even be embarrassed. Afraid to hurt someone? To get in over our head in such things?

I get it.

But this mixing in with the lives of others enriches our lives – theirs and ours.

More on this topic soon. Something more to think about!

October 9, 2017