Owning You

Crunch goes the knee; slip goes the hip; pang starts somewhere in the lower gut. Don’t get me started on the shoulder! You don’t want to know the orchestrated, discordant tune it plays!

Such are the feelings of an elder. Not just these days but for all time. Most people feel these sensations as they age. We are not talking strain, sprain or injury. These are aches and pains that just are. They come with aging. Expect them or not, they visit anyway.

But you wouldn’t think so. Most people comment on the pains. Some even whine. It’s normal, I suppose. But not an attractive trait.

The occasional ‘oof’ can be forgiven as a sharp ache materializes without warning, but then we go on without much thought. Onward. To the tasks at hand we ply our energy. Better if we did so without the sound effects.

I get it. I have the same aches and pains as most do but I’m tired of hearing me complain about it. If that’s true (and it is!) then it is a bore to others as well.

Best to quiet the sound effects and suffer in silence.

I bring this up today because whining about maladies of one’s own body is the tip of an iceberg we don’t much talk about. Whining in general; complaining about a circumstance out of our control like the traffic, weather, rude behavior of others, and so on.

Approaching an intersection that is clogged with idle traffic is a surprise, especially as you are thinking of the appointment you are traveling toward. Will I get there in time? Will I need to call ahead and warn them of the delay? Do I have their phone number at hand? Can I dial it while driving (sorry, parked in traffic!), or must I call via the ‘hands free’ feature of my Bluetooth in my car? Do I even know how to voice activate the feature?

Panic sets in imagining the delay and consequences of it. Then the whine begins, the cursing, drumming on the steering wheel, and then the rude behavior and gestures. None of it helps. The traffic is as implacable as it is wont to be.

At the office a crucial task has been left undone and I pick up the loose ball and finish the task so the organization isn’t embarrassed by this. Do I complain about this? Probably. At least a well-deserved mutter under the breath.

The news reports problems within the city, or maybe the state or county. One sees the effects of the problem on a national basis as well. Who does anything about this? Who has helped create this mess? Who and what is to blame for the situation?

And then we are off and running on a rant.

Stop! Take a breath. Center your brain and emotions. Find the calm.

Now, what should the situation be like absent the problem? What would be the better condition, or outcome of our hopes and dreams? Picture a more perfect outcome. Is it possible? How readily is it possible. What would have to happen to make this outcome a reality?

In the pantheon of all problems, what priority does this issue have? Is it hugely important? Is it an essential building block of other things needing it for other desired outcomes? Where do we place our energy, creative ideas and money to achieve the best and most important outcomes?

In a nutshell, we have turned from negative to positive. The latter allows us to be constructive. The challenge is interesting and intoxicating. We have the ability to fix things. We can create. This thought, this behavior, has its own reward. It motivates to do more of this.

Must we remind ourselves that we live in an imperfect world? We take it as it exists and work with it. The better outcomes will result if we invest in them. You and I individually and together. Investment of time, energy, ideas. Those three first. Then decisions and allocation of assets to implement the better plan.

If we complain about something, we are blaming someone known or unknown. It is energy expended for little good unless it helps find cause for repair. If it doesn’t, push the mute button and move on to something else.

A simple step. Takes discipline. But now you and I are focusing on the positive. Enjoy the good that surrounds us. Work to make it better. Own the solution. Build toward the outcome.

This is owning yourself. You are responsible for you.

And that’s freedom.

October 24, 2017